To Wonder How I Ended Up With Such A Shit Life?

[ICannotBloodyBelieveIt]

When I look back to my late teen years, they were so full of promise! I was (and still consider myself to be)a highly intelligent, decent, caring, happy person and I envisaged a high powered career and a fun life.

Fast forward 20 years and I am jobless (baby to look after and childcare unfeasible, DH works), with 4 DC (all of the older 3 having problems at school which is causing me no end of stress), teenager is an absolute nightmare, money so tight we are about to be taken to court as we have not been able to pay the last £400 of council tax we owe for the rest of this year, AND living in temporary council provided accommodation (basically a private rental where we pay £900 a month while we wait another 3 years at least for a permanent council house). This is after we have had to move 3 times in the last 2 years as previous landlords decided to sell up after assuring us they would let long term to us so the last one we let evict us (got notice 2 weeks after I found out I was pregnant again and a bloody shock that was too) as we could not face going through it all again . I cannot have friends over here because I am too embarrassed.

We lost everything financially 2 years ago due to really shit bad luck and (seems to be never ending) and will probably never again own a house or be comfortable financially.

I absolutely cannot believe we are in this situation. We have our health of course(well physical not quite mental). AIBU to wish I could go back to being 18 again so I can start over??

YANBU. I too have wished the same ~ But! There are certain aspects that I wouldn't wish to repeat and yet if those things hadn't have happened, then I know that I wouldn't be who I am today. Going in a different direction in year 17 for instance, could mean worse things iyswim and who is to say that you wouldn't do exactly the same things in exactly the same way again.
It's very hard, but could be so much worse. Try to e positive.

How old are the oldest three? Could one babysit whilst you work?
Even if you put in 16 hours a week that would make such a difference, have you looked into working from home online? Even data entry or working on text services (doing horoscopes and things) would work.

You don't have to give up, you're not dead yet!

things could be so much worse tbh, you should be grateful for all the wonderful things you do have. You have 4 wonderful children, somewhere to live a husband that works hard to support you all.
I always go with the sayings "it could be much worse" and "someone is always worse off".

and tbh, who gives a damn if your waiting for a council house!! Its a set of bricks, who care who is paying for them!

icannot just wanted to say that i have been in your position. I have 5 beautiful children and thanks to husbands business going down and making a few bad decisions we almost lost everything.
At the end of the day.. we saved the one thing that mattered..the children.
Learning to come to terms is the hardest part of it but once you have done this that's the hardest part over. I hope things start to work out for you soon - remember you are not alone

ladyofthehousekeeping - What is the text service you speak of? How do I find out about that?

Much sympathy for your situation; it's to your credit that you're still thinking optimistically at heart and I hope things start to turn around soon.

Have you sought advice re. your council tax debt? Might be worth a trip to CAB to see if there's any way of coming to an agreement and avoiding court. Plus you may be entitled to benefits you're not aware of.

Don't know anything about this company other than coming across them on here, but they might be a good source of work-at-home income.

I am sorry you find yourself so down...BUT as other posters have said...fast forward 2 years and you may well look back on this period as something you needed to go through to appreeciate what you have IYSWIM?

I really hope things pick up for you soon.

BTW, I was raised in a council house (lived there for 26 years!) and it never occured to me to be embarrased about it. Its just bricks and mortar. Its the people in the house that make a home.

Goos luck x

Are the older children old enough to get themselves to school? That's certainly not far to travel for secondary school?

Are you SURE you are not entitled to any housing benefit or council tax benefit?

Sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed.
You do seem to have a lot on your plate.

However, I would urge you to follow tribpot's advice and break down the various problems and what you can do about them.

First, you will prove to yourself that there are always positive changes that can be made.
Second, you will be more open to opportunities if you are in a positive frame of mind.

Don't fret about what might have been, but focus on what you can improve here and now. You will feel a whole lot better if you do.

Sorry you're havig a tough time.

Have a look at www.turn2us.org.uk/benefits_search.aspx

to check your entitlements and make sure you are getting everything you should.

Hope things pick up for you soon.

YABU. your life is not that shit given the choices you have made. look at people in other countries who would be picking over rubbish on the streets, probably with some of their children dead or ill, no access to healtcare, or in prison for non payment of debt. be glad of the welfare state (no it can't provide a luxury lifestyle for all but it's much better than if we didn't have one).

you have to accept you are in the situation you are in, stop blaming 'bad luck' and start realising how much of your own actions have created how you are living now. only then will you realise how much power you have to get out of it.