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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to feel frustrated that I don't seem to be getting pregnant?

42 replies

Catnao · 31/01/2011 19:40

It's not been that long, a few months, but I feel worried. I MIGHT be pregnant now (not due til 7th -ish) but have been saying that same thing for around 5 months now.

We have one child, and I fell pregnant accidentally quickly with him - but I'm 10 years older now.

Anyone know if I should be worried? Seems ironic, having spent a decade trying hard NOT to get pregnant....

OP posts:

mumsgotatum · 31/01/2011 20:49

Totally understand, it took 13 15 months to conceive DD2. I was so upset every month. i did go to GP and she was so brilliant and I had fertility tests, cycle monitoring at the hospital etc, husband checked out and everything was fine in the end. They found I had polycystic ovaries which can make conceiving more difficult but obviously not impossible. Maybe you could ask your GP for fertility tests...best to say you've been trying for over a year though. I was 35 when I conceived DD2...I don't know if that makes it more difficult.
I did ovulation sticks (brought from Amazon in bulk, far far cheaper than shop brought), also i had acupuncture at the London Acupuncture Clinic, and i took temperature etc. After 3 months I was pregnant! Good Luck

physteach · 31/01/2011 20:51

I so know that 'obsessed' thing..... you are not being obsessed you just want another baby and once you want that you can't think about anything else. The ovulation sticks really are a waste of money..... just 'go for it' every other day if you can and try to enjoy it ;D

We had a referral to the fertility clinic and the day we were due to go in I fell PG, unfortunately I lost that baby and thought my world had ended the pain was unbearable after trying for so long, but got PG again the next cycle and she is asleep in her crib as I type.

It's funny how things work out.... really it is.

willybreeder · 31/01/2011 20:52

I went to the doc after trying for 2 years to have my 2nd child (aged 31) He recommended I went home and had a glass of wine and a shag!
Said he would refer me but sometimes our inner anxiety can prevent us from getting pregnant.
It worked! Then for baby no3 (age 37 different partner) I took some fertile plus tablets, got my husband on the male version, he cut out his heavy coffee drinking and I was pregnant before my honeymoon! Tablets from victoria health, expensive but worth every penny!

Original poster

Catnao · 31/01/2011 20:53

Sorry for your loss physteach - but so glad you have your daughter!

I feel a bit better after these messages - also - I am blessed with one child - maybe a second is not the huge deal i am making it!!

OP posts:

SmethwickBelle · 31/01/2011 20:53

The "average" I seem to remember is four cycles so there isn't on the face of it any reason to think there is a problem.

At 33 with good health you're not likely to be menopausal unless very early menopause runs in your family and menopause is a process of winding down that lasts for years and years and you can concievably conceive right up until the end of it so even if you were it doesn't mean you couldn't get pregnant.

I know irregular or long cycles are maddening - I charted my symptoms which gave me some clues about when I was ovulating and something to do whilst we waited (I couldn't "relax" or "chill out" about it if I tried).

I'd probably try ovulation kits next time (get them and home test kits online somewhere like homehealthuk as they are so much cheaper than the chemist), if you want to occupy yourself (although you run the risk of becoming a piddlestick addict), you could give them a try.

Best of luck xxx

physteach · 31/01/2011 20:55

Thanks Catnoa..... hope things work out. I am sure they will.

Original poster

Catnao · 31/01/2011 20:57

Thanks - my mum thought my little brother was the menopause !

Will just try not to feel "on hold" til the 7th - ish when I know I should come on if the last 4 months are an indication! (although the 14th and the 11th have been the right day in recent times!)

OP posts:

monkeyjamtart · 31/01/2011 21:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

weefriend · 31/01/2011 21:50

I think it's way too early to worry, it's taken me 1.5, 2.5 & 3.5 yrs to conceive but it happened without help in the end each time. The best way to get a good idea of what is happening is by charting. If you don't know what that is then get hold of Taking Charge of Your Fertility and start reading.

libelulle · 31/01/2011 22:05

If you're doing the deed according to a standardised calculator you may be missing your window of opportunity altogether. Ov sticks are the way to go if you do want to help things along.

But I think the forgetting about it all and having copious sex at all times of the month is the way to go really. I took 10 months to conceive DS and was getting seriously stressed about it (DD took only 4 months). He was conceived the month I had my mind on other things, went on holiday, drank wine etc - the usual story. If there are no underlying issues then relaxing and forgetting about it do seem anecdotally to be pretty effective! Though appreciate that 'just forget about it' is pretty flipping impossible advice to follow!

anastasiaviolet · 31/01/2011 22:13

Cat, my GP told me in your 30's it will take a normal couple up to a year to conceive. Don't worry.

When I got pg with youngest it took a few months, the final month when it worked I was determined and literally had sex every day from day 10 to day 22,- sorry if TMI but rather than try and work out when I was ovulating I just did it that way! Tiring, but effective.

5 months is really normal, keep trying, you'll get there and it will be all the more satisfying when you finally get your positive result.x

Original poster

Catnao · 31/01/2011 22:30

Thanks - finding it hard not to think "I can do a test in 7 days!"

Trying not to be too obsessed - my partner is very happy with one and would see two as a bonus - I too am happy with my son but seem to be really craving a second - maybe this is the biological clock ticking?

OP posts:

Foreverondiet · 31/01/2011 22:52

Catnao I had similarly irregular periods and it turned out I had PCOS. PCOS is most common reason for irregular periods. Accupucture is great (have used) but an cheaper alternative is Collette Harris's PCOS diet book. Its not really a weight loss diet, and even if you don't have pcos its very healthy.

That all being said, if your cycles are that irregular you should go and discuss with GP.

I had acupuncture and took chinese herbs when TTC with DS2 - also had v short periods, which acupuncturist thought to do with both PCOS and also using hormonal contraceptives.

If you are in London let me know as my acupuncturist is great.

Foreverondiet · 31/01/2011 22:54

Also don't rely on a calender, better to use either ovulation tests or temperature (if your temp hasn't risen you are still potential fertile.)

Foreverondiet · 31/01/2011 22:54

Also don't rely on a calender, better to use either ovulation tests or temperature (if your temp hasn't risen you are still potential fertile.)

Original poster

Catnao · 01/02/2011 01:09

Still up fretting - i AM TAKING ON BOARD ADVICE - BUT gp IS TELLING ME TO gain WEIGHT! Caps lock, sorry! Diets all sound good but also weight loss things?

OP posts:

LaWeaselMys · 01/02/2011 01:24

I ahve had this problem.

It would be nice if they told you how the fuck you are supposed to do it.

Fry up for breakfast?

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