To want to spend time with my OH in the evenings?

[namestaken]

OH has just announced that he is now going to start going to the gym at 8pm Mon-Thurs. Apparently its quieter at this time. I don't get home from work until 7:30 - 7:45, then cook dinner and we eat at about 8:30ish. Apparently now he'll eat when he gets home at about 6ish. He routinely falls asleep on the sofa at 9pm, which is now the first time I will see him all evening. AIBU to think that the reason that the gym is busy 5-7pm is because it is full of people who value spending time with their wives / girlfriends / husbands / boyfriends etc. AIBU to feel hurt that he values our time together in the evening so little and should just deal with the 'busy' gym?

How much time does he spend with you Fri-Sun? And do you see each other in the mornings before work? Who gets the kids ready in the morning? How old are they? Do you both work? (Sounds as though you do). Full-time or part-time? And are you expected to do the kids' tea, bath & bedtime by yourself Mon-Thur whilst he goes to the gym? Will he repay the favour at the weekends?

All these questions must be answered before I can judge whether YABU or not!

'Just announced' - he didn't run the idea past you first?

If he's home at six why does he not cook dinner, since you get home much later? Or maybe he's busy with the kids?

I'll give him until the middle of Feb before he gives up with his new routine....

To be honest trying to make him cook is an absolute nightmare. Leaving it to him just creates more stress for me. He didn't run the idea past me, just called 'to let me know'. I'm probably being utterly pathetic, but feel really hurt about it

He won't fall asleep at 9pm anymore, he'll be all buzzy and exercisy.

So will he be cooking now? Careful it's not al whey protein and egg white omelettes....

Agre with Mattsbatt tho....

more info req'd.

Hmmm, YANBU- seems odd that he wouldn't want to go straight from work, but instead suddenly at 8pm pretty much EVERY night- if I were him I couldn't be arsed to come home, eat, THEN go! It might not last long so don't worry too much!

However, seriously, my DP goes to football training on Tuesdays and Thursdays 8pm until 9.30pm, and to the gym on a Monday, but straight from work so he'll be back about 7pm. Maybe i'm VERY leniant, but can't complain too much as football is his passion and he was training at these times before I came along. I don't mind as we do see each other before he goes training for a couple of hours, as well as afterwards.

I can see your point of view because you wouldn't get time to see him before he trots off to the gym due to you not finishing work til later. Can you ask him to only go at 8pm on a couple of these days if he 'must' go at this time? I think that would be a fair compromise. YANBU.

I would be too.

No, I'd be very hurt and annoyed too, and if he doesn't cook and didn't DISCUSS this with you first, then YANBU at all and he is being a selfish w*nker.

That opinion stands until I hear more facts about the situation!

Hahaha FiveFeet that's probably a fairly good plan. Particularly as he is usually snoring on the sofa by 9....

Just on a health note, he shouldn't really be doing 4 days' worth of gym classes/workouts in a row, should he? Aren't you supposed to have at least 1 day off per 2 or 3 days of training? Can you sneakily approach it in that way?

I don't blame you for feeling hurt. I think I would be too in the same circumstances.