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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

600 old people die of thirst (todays headline)

75 replies

GabbyLoggon · 31/01/2011 13:31

I would guess its about old peoples homes.

But I have not had time to read it in the Mail.

On friday in the D.E tab there was anothet puzzler "Police Afraid of the Dark"

This was a story about the police not policing a park

You do get some unusual headlines in the papers

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 31/01/2011 15:29

He's not a troll, he just likes to chat about stuff in the news. But the "in the news" section is a little slow and serious so he does it in AIBU.

Really sorry to hear about your dad brightlights.

kenobi · 31/01/2011 15:30

He's not a troll per se brightlights ? there's no malice involved - he's just supremely random. < waves cheerily at Gabby >

I could not agree with you more about what an important issue this is. My grandmother broke her hip falling out of bed and they didn't take her to the hospital for 3 days - she was cared for at home the rest of the time and only went in for a week's respite - she was dead by day 4. We nearly sued but in the end my dad just couldn't face it.

But one thing - the stats quoted are for a 5 year period and are compared against a one year period so they've not gone up as much as it seems.

brightlightsandpromise · 31/01/2011 15:31

Thanks annie, it was a horrible time therefore im very sensitive about it.

Original poster
GabbyLoggon · 31/01/2011 15:32

Mutznutz

whatever happened to your social conscience?

the name is attractive. But the posts
pointless.

Just read some of the posts from people with first hand experience on this site. Open your eyes.

If you are not interested; then just read
"one handed" book. cheers "Gabby"

OP posts:
LaWeaselMys · 31/01/2011 15:33

It's okay, MNHQ 'know' Gabby, they will probably just send you a message saying he's not a problem.

Interesting what you say about profits brightlights, I worked for a nursery (although not in it) and it was very obvious that a large chunk of fees went on owner's gorgeous sports car, so when OFSTED arrived they were a bit Shock at how little the 'new toys and equipment' budgets were. I wasn't sad to stop working for such a pisstaker.

I imagine it's the same in some care homes, but it's nice to hear that there are some good experiences at least.

My dad always speaks very highly of the care home his mother went to in NZ. It was run by a very religious family (but not as a religious place) and they really made such an effort in terms of regular entertainment and day trips. All the residents got their hair professionally done once a week, speakers coming in, activities...

kenobi · 31/01/2011 15:33

Hi yes it was me who pulled in the 'troll' comment - what I said was that AS Gabby is random you can enjoy it OR ignore like a troll.

I suppose I was being a bit mean, but c'mon guys, you have to admit Gabby can be random. What about the endless sports presenter thread?

TotorosOcarina · 31/01/2011 15:33

Not an old peoples home but I worked in an NHS elderly peoples rehab centre, a place old people would move into after having a fall or stroke whilst they got better enough to move to their own homes again.

I worked there about 8 months and it was soul destroying.

I was 18 years old with NO medical training, had been on 1 lifting course, had never even been SHOWN how to take blood pressure but did it daily - they just expected me to know?!? and i had no idea what it meant but was too scared to say anything.

It was appauling.

I found myself once doing a full shift, at 18, looking after about 16 elderly folk along with only another woman who was trainiing with me!! Shock

we were supposed to be 'additional' to trained staff, but often found ourselves being counted as properstd left alone to do, well, god knows what.

:(

mutznutz · 31/01/2011 15:33

Bloody hell Gabby, I only asked if you have to copy and paste your name onto the end of your posts or if there's a setting for it? Hmm

BeerTricksPotter · 31/01/2011 15:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
GabbyLoggon · 31/01/2011 15:35

BRIGHT....

thats ok, we can all make mistakes.

I have a history of doing serious subjects

And some more lighthearted ones. This is deadly serious....partly because I am getting old. Good luck "Gabby"

OP posts:
mutznutz · 31/01/2011 15:37

Can you explain your reply to my post OP?

kenobi · 31/01/2011 15:38

You're right about the profits too Brightlights - my dad's neighbour runs several care homes and drives an Aston Martin DB9. They cost about £120,000.

Original poster
GabbyLoggon · 31/01/2011 15:39

Sorry Mutznuts how about the "one handed" book? Its a J arthur job...I am grateful for the serious posts on this subject. "Gabby"

OP posts:
kenobi · 31/01/2011 15:40

But Gabby, 'serious subjects' or no, you have never, ever, ever explained why you post in AIBU.

You won't now either, I bet.

brightlightsandpromise · 31/01/2011 15:41

Totorosocarina, that sounds awful - i wish you had been one of the ones looking after my dad. I think there was one girl there who was lovely, the rest didnt give a shit and sat in the smoking room all day, which incidentally was where my dad used to sit, i was pregnant and we used to try and persuade him to move but, well he woudnt, and they just carried on like i wasn't there - i even had to stand for a whole hour once, 30 weeks pregnant, while they dossed away. It makes my blood boil just thinking about it.

I complained in the end to the social care ombudsmen and they did make a lot of recommendations for the place. Half of it has now been deomolished and a new development of houses in its place, seems the proprietor is doing very nicely out of the whole sorry affair Angry.

I am not a vindictive person but i feel like throwing battery acid over the owners nice new mazda R8! Every time i walk past there i think some very dark thoughts indeed and it chills me to think that people send their relations there thinking they are going to be cared for.

mutznutz · 31/01/2011 15:42

FFS forget it if you can't answer a simple, genuine question lol.

brightlightsandpromise · 31/01/2011 15:43

kenobi, i used to like duncan bannantyne until i knew he had a chain of care homes - i shouldn't judge but he is a profit man if anyone is. I guess i have to be careful what i say, but i never watched dragons den again after i found that out. Of course profit is fine, actually a good, well run care home should make profit, but so many owners seem to put the profit before the care.

PenelopeTitsDropped · 31/01/2011 15:46

I worked my arse off; but still I couldn't stop my Parents in Law dying of neglect in a care home, it haunts me to this day.

TotorosOcarina · 31/01/2011 15:46

it was awful brights.

I got shouted at (properly shouted at!!) by the head nurse one day for comforting a woman who had come in to this horrid plae with a broken hip on the 1st anniversary of her husbands death :(

I sat on the bed with her looking at photos of him in his soldiers uniform and i got in trouble because shouldn't have been wasting time :(
ive never smoked but everyone else got endless smoking breaks, yet i got in trouble for trying to comfort this poor woman.

kenobi · 31/01/2011 15:50

Oh god totoro that's awful.

valiumredhead · 31/01/2011 15:55

I have been visiting my very elderly Grandfather in hospital since before Xmas - he is now nil by mouth and is fed through a 'peg'. He needs his mouth swabbing regularly. One day we were there and he couldn't speak as his mouth was so dry he could barely move his lips, and was so 'dry' he couldn't ask. It was SO obvious what was wrong! He can swab his own mouth IF the water and swabs are on his table. He is nearly blind and completely deaf. God knows what happens to patients who haven't got family going in and kicking up a fuss making sure they are ok.

This repost although shocking, doesn't surprise me at all Sad

KerryMumbles · 31/01/2011 15:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Notalone · 31/01/2011 16:11

Brightlights - your post made me cry. It was the railway jacket that got to me and I don't even know why Sad. Is your Dad still with you now?

Toto - that is shocking. Why shouldn't you offer a bit of comfort?

I worked in an elderly ward of a hospital and they were incredibly short staffed. Many many elderly people who had literally no-one were sent home with "care packages". This meant they spent entire days, entire weeks, entire months by themselves in front of the telly, with a carer in the morning to give them breakfast and dress them and a carer in the evening to undress them, feed them and put them to bed.

This problem is going to get so much worse. The ageing population is growing at startling levels. I dread to think what things will be like when we are old

Original poster
GabbyLoggon · 31/01/2011 16:15

Kenobi

Why I post in Am I being unresonable?

I sort of like this site; And I am no expert on the technical aspects of message boards (I just know how to string words together)

I do post on other sites ocasionally.But I do not use many different sites.

I dont see it as a big issue; but I realise some posters do. Its not done to hurt anyone..."Gabby"

PS I have written books not much longer than ths

OP posts:
MrsFlittersnoop · 31/01/2011 16:27

Anyone concerned about care for the elderly should read these 2 excellent articles by Johann Hari published in the Independent last week:

My grandmother deserved a better ending than this

The plan to solve our care home crisis

These are issues which WILL affect every one of us personally. We have an ageing population and standards of care for the elderly are utterly disgraceful. If children (or even pets) were treated like this there would be a huge outcry and criminal charges would be the norm.