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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Signing my friend up for Take Me Out?

30 replies

Mammie81 · 31/01/2011 08:11

Hes lovely and so unlucky in love. Hes not really gotten past the first few dates with a woman and I'd love to give him a confidence boost. I can honestly say I think he'll have loads of lights on at the end. Hes a great guy and isnt unattractive at all. Hes got loads going for him, its just he has a problem meeting available women.

If I put it past him, he'll go all shy and put himself down etc. Should I just do it? He might not get on it anyway and if he does, well we can talk about that if it happens! And I'm not dismissing his confidence issues, I think he just has been unlucky with his situations and thats lead him to feel unattractive. Something like this could help him really shine! And he doesnt have to go on it, if he doesnt want to. I probably am being unreasonable, arent I?

OP posts:
HettyAmaretti · 31/01/2011 08:19

Yes, YABU. I assume this is some sort of TV program?

PinkDragonOfDoom · 31/01/2011 08:23

oh be careful there op, if anyone signed me up for some terrible tv program(and it is terrible) i would be devastated. Perhaps actually ask him and talk about it, you know in a jokey friendly way and see where it ends up :D

Original poster
Mammie81 · 31/01/2011 08:25

Its a bit like Blind Date.

I thought I might be BU, but we talk all the time about his quest to find a nice girl and I thought this could be a bit of fun to give him a boost.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mammie81 · 31/01/2011 08:27

And hes far better than some of the guys you see on there! He could even get a lovely day out on the love isle of fernando?! And He'd like that, no question.

Still unreasonable?

OP posts:
HettyAmaretti · 31/01/2011 08:28

It might give him a boost, it might give him a breakdown. If I were him I'd be furious if someone signed me up for something like that.

Have a chat with him. Helping him sign up for some sort of dating agency would probably be much more to the point, IF that's something he wants to do.

NannymcDeb · 31/01/2011 08:30

All well and good, but what happens IF they all turn their lights off???
The women on there are quite horrible, very demanding,needy, overtly sexually obvious and
very scary!!!
It won't do his confidence any good if they aall turn their lights off, or they scare him off women forever!!

Try fixing him up with someone you know, or a friend knows, or even one of those dating sites.
DO NOT subject him to the humiliation of Take Me Out!!

gingernutlover · 31/01/2011 08:34

YABU

I would be absolutely fuming and extremely embarassed if a friend applied for me to go on that program

I have seen it once and it is 100 times worse than blind date, humiliating for all involved I think. Guy walks on stage and half the women turn their lights off because he's not good looking enough for them - then he parades up and down turning their lights off. Like a live cattle market - awful program IMO

as someone else said, set him up with a simgle friend maybe or even that dating site where your friend has to write your profile for you - but not a degrading TV program.

Original poster
Mammie81 · 31/01/2011 08:44

We've been down those routes already. And although he says hes not, hes very fussy. I picked out loads of pretty girls on Match and Mysinglefriend and he rejected them all on some small thing.

There'd definately be some lights on. Lucy for one, never turns hers off! And if shes the worst he could end up with, thats great. I think shes lovely!

Oh well Mammie, back to the drawing board! ;-)

OP posts:
mutznutz · 31/01/2011 08:48

You can't simply 'sign' someone else up for something like that..and being ripped apart on National TV is hardly going to boost his confidence.

Niceguy2 · 31/01/2011 08:49

Sounds to me like he needs a confidence boost. Putting him on Take Me Out would be a high risk gambit. If he doesn't get through or even gets blackout then he's just going to feel even worse. I think that show only works if you are a bit of an extrovert.

Instead, buy him a book called "The Game" by Neil Strauss.

HettyAmaretti · 31/01/2011 08:50

Shock OMG I've just clicked which program you mean - they have a version over here.

FFS, it's a form of ritual humiliation. Don't even consider doing that to someone you consider a friend. It would be even a cruel and, frankly, stupid thing to do. It's much, much worse than blind date, nothing like it.

LoopyLoopsPoopaScoop · 31/01/2011 08:50

Just shag him if he's so lovely. That not an option? Leave his love life well alone, it is his.

Original poster
Mammie81 · 31/01/2011 09:08

Thanks for that advice Loopy but i'm in a committed relationship. So I hardly see that shagging him would help his confidence either.

I dont think its stupid or cruel to enter someone into a dating competiton either. A friend entered me onto Blind Date but I wasnt picked. I didnt have a breakdown. Thanks all for the advice anyhow.

OP posts:
hoovercraft · 31/01/2011 09:10

Have you seen the girls on that though? Serious bimbos and woofers

MummieHunnie · 31/01/2011 09:16

I have watched bits of it a couple of times, and if someone who called themselves my friend signed me up for that, I would not want them to be my friend again.

I would imagine that you are birds of a father that flock together in your behaviour, like you he possibly likes to say he is going to do something, ignores advice and goes on and on about it anyways for fun.

begonyabampot · 31/01/2011 09:23

i don't know if I could actually be friends with someone who watched or liked this show - caught it once and it's beyond awful.

YABVU for even watching this shite and encouraging them to make more shite like this.

renlovesyou · 31/01/2011 09:30

I quite like the show, OP. Go for it! Fingers crossed for you he doesnt end up with Peggy!

Original poster
Mammie81 · 31/01/2011 10:39

Honestly? You'd really de-friend someone for this? Even if their motives were good? Wow. Im pleased my mates doesnt think people are so disposable.

OP posts:
Mymblesson · 31/01/2011 11:09

Question: does he actually like or even watch it?

I think it's one of the worst things ever shown in the history of TV, but if he's a fan he might go for it.

Aims80 · 31/01/2011 11:14

Unless he's a big personality he probably won't get on if I'm honest!

Hassled · 31/01/2011 11:16

YABU. If he's already lacking in confidence and a) doesn't get on or b) does get on and does badly, that could really screw him up.

taintedpaint · 31/01/2011 11:19

That programme is horrible, really fucking awful.

And yes, if a friend did this to me, I'd probably 'de-friend' them as well.

It's not about being disposable, it's about knowing and loving your friends, and I can't honestly believe that anyone who knew and loved their friends would ever consider putting them forward for that piece of shit programme.

I realise your intentions probably are good in this case, but please don't do it!

PenelopeTitsDropped · 31/01/2011 11:50

Nasty programme. It's a cattle market. YABU.

Mymblesson · 31/01/2011 11:53

Have you seen the girls on that though? Serious bimbos and woofers

To be honest, neither sex come out of this looking good, do they?

Niceguy2 · 31/01/2011 12:01

I confess that I am as shallow as a puddle but even by my standards, that program is AWFUL.