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AIBU?

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Original poster

buying piano-issue with ex

51 replies

SpiritualKnot · 30/01/2011 21:13

Recently divorced. Ex just moved into new house bought with his girlfriend last week.

Ex brought a keyboard to the house last week and set it up for dd. I had said I didn't like keyboards as they remind me of him, he used to be professional musician and owned about 3 of them.

He said I was selfish and he wanted to lend the keyboard so he could take his grand piano, currently in my house, to his new house where he lives with his girlfriend. He suggested I go look at a local piano shop for one. He took the keyboard away as I asked him to.

So I went to piano shop few days ago and chose one. Told him and he shouted at me for being so impatient. Turns out it'll cost him £180 to get the grand moved but if he waits till there's a delivery of another grand in the area, the men will do it for £130 . I told the music shop and they said they'd pay the difference, so he'll still just pay the £130.

The piano I'm interested in is an upright which the shop will deliver, it doesn't need specialist delivery service which the grand does.

He just keeps ranting on now about the crap piano I'm buying (Yamaha £3500, hardly crap) and that he would have been happy to have left the grand at my house for a few more years. Both dd and I play, so a piano of our own which we know won't be taken away seems quite important to us,

Was I unreasonable to get the impression that he wanted to have the grand asap? If I wasn't being unreasonable, what the hell's wrong with him? Confused

OP posts:
MissMarjoribanks · 30/01/2011 21:51

Oh and sorry for casting aspersions on your piano OP.

Original poster
SpiritualKnot · 30/01/2011 21:52

Allnew, he convinced me at the time that pianos should be sold when past their best. He was actually a piano tuner when I met him. He had actually reconditioned it and made a mess of it so it was virtually unplayable, I was quite sad about it.

I do remember alarm bells ringing at that point.

OP posts:
pleasechange · 30/01/2011 21:54

he does sound very controlling. Sod his opinions and do what you want

Original poster
SpiritualKnot · 30/01/2011 21:55

Actually I remeber now, he didn't sell it. The shop brought round a second hand one we'd bought and they took my old one to the tipSad

OP posts:
bubblewrapped · 30/01/2011 21:56

A regularly tuned and well kept piano is NEVER past its best.

He sounds a bit of a tosser to be honest. Can you say to DD that she will be able to use the grand at his house, but thats assuming she goes to visit there, and assuming he doesnt sell that too. It would be nice if he were to promise to keep it to pass down to her,

BelleBelicious · 30/01/2011 21:56

Isn't it funny, when you look back at your life how loudly you can hear those alarm bells? But at the time, you are able to drown them out.

Good luck, life's got to get better without the loser and that sounds like a great piano, even if it's not a Grand.

zipzap · 30/01/2011 21:58

spiritualknot unfortunately I think the last pianos have already come off the production line in Milton Keynes and they are no longer made here, yamaha moved production abroad where it was cheaper Sad

think I am right in saying they were the last pianos being manufactured in the UK but could quite easily be wrong - there was lots about it in the local paper, think it was sometime last year...

mylifewithstrangers · 30/01/2011 22:02

He sounds like an arse who still wants to sound his own piano trumpet even though it no longer concerns him.

FWIW we have a Yamaha and it sounds lovely. The piano tuner calls it an upright grand - it did take almost a team of rugby players to actually get it in the house!

Original poster
SpiritualKnot · 30/01/2011 22:05

Didn't know that Zipzap. This one is new but has been in the shop quite a while, so has been made in the UK, makes it more special to know it was probably one of the last!

OP posts:
ninah · 30/01/2011 22:07

why are you asking the music shop to subsidise his removal?
if it's his he should take it pronto and bear the cost himself
if the music shop is so anxious to please get a £discount off your yamaha instead and spend it on CDs, Uchida playing Chopin or whatever takes your fancy
he sounds like an egotist

pleasechange · 30/01/2011 22:14

Personally I think that as your ex put your's on the scrap-heap, and given that his DD plays, then the least he can do is to replace the one he is taken with a suitable alternative. And I am no piano-player, but I really can't imagine that a keyboard is a suitable alternative. So he's forcing you basically to buy a replacement, yet scorning your choice. Tosser indeed

curlymama · 30/01/2011 22:14

If you've got it included in the divorce, you have even more reson to get rid as soon as possible.

He sounds like an arse, I wouldn't want any of his property on my house and would do exactly as you have done, if I could afford it!

Make him get rid of it pronto, and be proud that you and your dd now have a lovely new piano that is all yours.

ninah · 30/01/2011 22:15

charge the fucker storage, actually.

Original poster
SpiritualKnot · 30/01/2011 22:16

Hi Ninah, the music shop offered. I thought as I drove away that they could have taken that off the piano I'm buying, so it did cross my mind. However, they know pf my ex, he bought the grand from them.

I think the shop manager felt a bit sorry for me. He was like "he won't move it for the sake of £50". I think the manager also thought that if my husband was to wait for the next time someone bought a grand from the shop that needed delivering, it would be a long time before I bought a piano.

OP posts:
MadamDeathstare · 30/01/2011 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
SpiritualKnot · 30/01/2011 22:33

I did buy my daughter an acoustic yamaha violin. They're very good too but she never got the hang of it and I sold it,then she started the piano.

The grand piano is a yamaha too.

OP posts:
humanheart · 31/01/2011 02:36

excuse me Miss! yamaha pianos are FAB.

OP, aren't you glad he's gone! with his tantrums and his grand pianos that he wants then he doesn't want. and his fuss and nonsense. tell him to get it out by blah and move your (lovely!) yamaha in. you don't want that grand reminding you of him eh.

PenguinArmy · 31/01/2011 04:54

I hope the two of you enjoy it loads, sounds like you will and you sound lovely btw.

Takeresponsibility · 31/01/2011 09:19

OK what you do it write to him recorded delivery and copy in your solicitor if you still have one. You quote the court order confirming how long it has been since it was sealed, and advise that he has 28 days to remove his remaining belongings from your property or you will assume that he no longer has any need for them and you will assume ownership and will keep or dispose of such items as you see fit without further delay."

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 31/01/2011 09:55

Tbh i'd be negotiating free shifting of the grand from the shop, you're spending 3,500 k ffs !!

I never, ever pay delivery on anything !

diddl · 31/01/2011 10:01

I would have kept the keyboard if daughter wanted it tbh.

dittany · 31/01/2011 10:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bubblewrapped · 31/01/2011 10:13

Apocalypse. The shop is delivering the piano that the OP is buying from them for free.

You cant expect them to be responsible for moving a piano that isnt theirs.

They have offered to pay the ex £50 towards getting his piano shifted out of the way.

If I have read it right.

nickelbabe · 22/02/2011 16:39

I totally agree with TakeResponsibility
Give him 28 days to take the piano out of your house, and move your new piano that you have chosen and is NOTHING to do with him in.

mummytime · 22/02/2011 16:52

Very old pianos can become unplayable (something to do with being all wood rather than steel frame or something). DDs old Piano teacher had to eventually get rid of her Grandmother's one.

However we have been told that it is much easier to move a Grand Piano than an upright (because the legs come off?).

I would make him take the Grand Piano (the problem is probably room, I'm still dreading the day we get the Baby Grand my DH has at his family home).