to let my DS (13) help his friend (13) babysit his siblings(12 & 8) and two other kids, 12,9?

[BackInTheRoom]

They are my friends who are going out for an hour tonight.

Thought I'd run it by you guys, thanks in advance.

GORGEOUSX, I asked the same question myself and ''what, on a sunday night?"

If it was any longer, I would definately say NO! but only an hour.

I think anyone who leaves 6 children alone in the house is completely irresponsible.

Bibidee I don't think there will be a problem with the 13 year olds, but I don't think 2 13 year olds will 'look after' the others. I suspect they will be straight onto playstation/computer and the others will be left to it - fights will ensue - accidents could happen - I just think it's complete madness.

GORGEOUSX It's so awkward for me, the two ladies are both my friends.

I am assuming they are both going out together and both set's of kids are going to be together also because the one friend turned up with I was on the phone to the other. Unless my friend is meeting someone else down the pub?

The only way to really find out, is to ask my friend but then if I do and she says she is going out with said other friend and both sets of kids are going to be together, I would then have to say NO to my DS going over to help is mate and I would look bad in their eyes.

Am I making sense?

That doesn't sound like babysitting to me...the ages are too close.

It sounds just like a bunch of kids being left alone in the house together.

Bibidee I don't think it makes any difference whether they are going out together or not. To be honest I think it's irrelevent.

I just think 6 children left alone in the house is a very scary thought indeed.

I totally sympathise with you and you are obviously concerned yourself, otherwise you would have just done it.

I would make an excuse, personally, to get my DC out of it.

I wouldn't, too many and too close in age.
Two 13 year olds and one 8 year old possibly.

' I would look bad in their eyes.'
That's the sort of response a teenager gives for making poor choices. Very feeble.
Either you are OK with it and the children will be safe, or you are not.

GORGEOUSX I am very old fashioned (boring) tbh.

I know the kids really well, the 8yo is a live wire (adorable) but ever so lively. They are going to be put to bed by their mum before she goes out so hopefully will be calm.

Right - got the wrong end of the stick. I assumed they were going out to play. NO WAY would I leave all those kids alone at home. Asking for trouble... No older teens handy?

And if he hears his Mum going out and starts acting up?

Sounds like a party!
You know they wont just be gone an hour don't you?

Goblinchild you are right. I am feeble where this senario is concerned. I used to party with them but over the years I grew up and got a little bit more boring and developed dreadful debilitating hangovers-from-hell so I'm weary about drinking nowadays.

If I get there and the boys are babysitting the 4 kids, I will stay with them. Which will be awkward won't it but at least the kids will be safe.

I hope it'll be just her dc there then I won't feel bad about the situation but then I'll feel bad about putting it on mumsnet because I assumed ! Can't win either way can i

If the 8 year old is a live wire he's not going to stay in bed.

I feel sorry for you. I think you know it's irresponsible but are not strong/confident enough to say No; that's why I suggested making an excuse - that way you're not questioning their parenting (which I think is poor - leaving 6 children alone so that they can go to the pub) !!!!

Yes, I'm an old bag, i make no apologies for that - I think when you're a mum your DC must come first - certainly before an hour down the pub.

'If I get there and the boys are babysitting the 4 kids, I will stay with them.'

Now that sounds like an adult, and a parent.

Also agree with Scruffybird it won't be for just an hour. Sounds like they know you very well and will take advantage of you good nature.

Goblinchild thank you. I am really trying hard not to judge people of late but I struggle with my own friends.

I love my friends because they are amazing individuals, full of life and very positive outlooks but I find I can't escape judging them because I am close to them and sometime I am affected by their decisions IYSWIM?

Going to drop DS off now, will see how the land lies when I get there and I will 'have a word with myself' on the way over about being assertive about my own beliefs blah blah.

I hope it's just her own DC's and I will apologies to my conscience if I have assumed incorrectly about the other kids being there.

x

absoutely, I regularly leave DSS (14) with bis siblings (3 and 5) to no ill effect.

ALL'S WELL THAT END'S WELL!

Only her dc's there, all quiet and calm, kids in bed.

I was honest and said I wouldn't have been happy if the other children were there too. It was the least I could do for assuming.

Thanks mner's . I have to say, I am less judgy nowadays because of mn. It's learned me a lot!

tralala I don't think you can liken that to leaving 6 children of similar ages together.

And, personally, I would NEVER leave a 14 year old in charge of a 3 and 5 year old - far too immature IMO, no matter how 'mature' your DSS is.

Yes, I've got my Judgey knickers on because I think young children should be looked after by a caring and responsible adult.

Bibidee I'm glad it all worked out for you. I think you're a good friend, and that rare breed of MN who posts a question and is open to replies.

GORGEOUSX thank you for your kind words, I do try to be impartial but I've had to work on myself. I do hold some beliefs that I stick to but that's another matter!