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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think I can't be pregnant...

25 replies

RavenHairedPrincess · 30/01/2011 14:21

After DH had a vasectomy in August?

Bit of history:
We have 3 dc's under 3 years, one planned and two not so.
DC2 I was on the depo injection and DC3 we always used condoms.

We haven't exactly been careful since the birth of DC3 in november had a period bang on time in december and I am always on time, this month I am 4 days late, I feel like I am going to come on at anytime but I did when I was pregnant also.

I don't want anymore babies as I don't think my body could cope especially not yet.
I haven't tested yet as I am housebound so need to wait on a friend later this evening.

My mind is working in overdrive but the sensible part is telling me it can't be possible really... Can it?

OP posts:

HettyAmaretti · 30/01/2011 14:25

The chances are very small, still, it's wise of you test ASAP. I hope you get the result you want.

ShowOfHands · 30/01/2011 14:25

Has he had the all clear to say it has worked?

Eglu · 30/01/2011 14:26

Has your DH had the all clear from his vasectomy. If not there is every chance you could be.

Original poster

RavenHairedPrincess · 30/01/2011 14:26

Nope he is completly useless and keeps forgetting

OP posts:

TrillianAstra · 30/01/2011 14:26

You can be pregnant.

You're probably not, but it't possible.

Go take a test.

TrillianAstra · 30/01/2011 14:27

Well that's not very sensible of him if he doesn't want more children...

gordyslovesheep · 30/01/2011 14:29

he hasn't had the all clear so yes you could be

Original poster

RavenHairedPrincess · 30/01/2011 14:31

Bugger, Bugger, Bugger!!
I know if I am it will be as much my fault as it is his but AIBU to just blame him??

It's probably nothing, it's all in my mind... I hope.

OP posts:

coccyx · 30/01/2011 14:36

Bit irresponsible to not wait for the all clear if you are so against another baby.
Hope you get the result you want. Mind can go into overdrive waiting for a period!

deemented · 30/01/2011 14:36

No, you're both responsible for contraception. You can't blame him alone because you knew that there was a chance you'd become pregnant by having unprotected sex before getting the 'all clear'.

If you are, it's as much your 'fault' as his.

Original poster

RavenHairedPrincess · 30/01/2011 14:45

Thank you deemented I am aware of that, I wasn't been seriously with that AIBU.
it's not the end of the world if I am pregnant we can afford it and our house is large enough but it's the physical side of things I am concerned about, four babies in 4 years would be hell on my body, three in 3yrs was hard enough.

OP posts:

slugz · 30/01/2011 15:05

Oh God, I'm not the only one then. I'm late on this month and 'feel' pregnant. It'll also be my 4th child if true, 4 in 15 years though, not 4.
Dh had the snip 3 years ago so obviously had the all-clear. But I know there's a tiny chance of it joining up again, so fingers crossed for both of us eh?

Original poster

RavenHairedPrincess · 30/01/2011 15:09

Slugz - it's that little bit in your mind saying it isn't it?
I'll keep my fingers crossed for us, please update on the thread when you know we can celebrate or commisarate (sp?) together.

OP posts:

Newgolddream · 30/01/2011 15:13

My cousin became pregnant after a sterilisation operation, not great the time, but she was happy once the shcok had wore off, so I guess even though the chances are small it can happen.

onehotmomma · 30/01/2011 15:18

OH has had a veasectomy 4 mths ago and you lot are scaring me

we have been using protection though and his results came back he had 'occassional immotile sperm' so have to do another test.

When researching this there where loads of people who got pregnant years after the vasectomy had taken place even though they had intially been given the all clear and you haven't had the results done so you could possibly be. Best get a PT :)

Get him to get tested ASAP too

slugz · 30/01/2011 16:04

I'll try to remember raven, but I'm notoriously scatty, so don't panic if I don't.

Eglu · 30/01/2011 16:14

Newgolddream I know of a woman who had 3 more DC after being sterilised. After each one was born she had her tubes tied again. I would have looked at another option after the first failure, but most definitely after the second.

slugz · 30/01/2011 16:51

Well if it turns out I am then I've run out of options. I've had 1 child while using condoms and 1 after having 2 coils fall out. The second 1 I had checked twice to check it's position since the first failure, and a month later after being assured it was safe as houses discovered I was pregnant.
I can't have anything hormonal because it turns me into a suicidal mess. I was given an implant under the assurances it would be better for me and when I was literally at the point of considering throwing myself out of a window I demanded it be removed. It crumbled as they were trying to remove it and some got left in my body and I remained a scary loon for about 6 months. It nearly cost my marriage.
Even if dh's snip is successful that's been a nightmare too, he has longterm discomfort, and it's killed his libido.

OmniaParatus · 30/01/2011 17:21

If it's any help, DH got his appointment through for snip counselling, and in the letter it states 1 in 100 men are fertile 6 months after op. If so they redo it and after 5 years it states fertility rates are 1:5000.

I sympathise with everyone, I am 33 weeks pg with DS2 after I had the implant. It was only in for one month before I got pg.

I really hope DH's snip works now, I will be very careful before he gets the all clear in light of this thread!

Original poster

RavenHairedPrincess · 30/01/2011 17:53

ARGH DH is coming home early this evening so can't test here as I'd rather not worry him unless I need too, but on the plus side I can get out of the house and go to my friends and do it there, quite glad as I'm starting to get cabin fever.

I will update tonight when I get home.

BTW I am not physically housebound (incase anyone read my OP that way)I just can't work the logistics of 3 DC's 2 of whom don't walk and only single buggies, so unless DH is home I can't get out, until double arrives Wednesday.

OP posts:

frgr · 30/01/2011 19:35

YABU to blame him - you are just as responsible for making sure contraception (be it long term irreversible or not) is sorted.

But wishing that you get the outcome you want - it's horrible to not know either way - just make sure that if you're not this time that you get your OH to get the all-clear before thinking you're safe :)

kaid100 · 30/01/2011 20:25

I'm thinking that having a conversation with DH where either of you tries to assign blame would probably be unproductive; whoever's fault it is you are now (depending on tests) in this situation and you need to be able to support each other.

Original poster

RavenHairedPrincess · 31/01/2011 09:48

Sorry I haven't updated sooner, I didn't get home until late but it's good news I'm not pregnant, the only question now is where has my period gone LOL?

OP posts:

HappySeven · 31/01/2011 12:03

If your youngest is only 2 months old then maybe things haven't settled down yet. I'm glad for your sake you're not pregnant (you must be very relieved!) but I'd be getting your DH to have that test asap!

Sidge · 31/01/2011 12:44

You're not pregnant this time, but if he hasn't had the all clear and you're not using contraception then you might well be pregnant before too long.

My DHs vasectomy didn't work first time, he had to have it redone.

Your DH really needs to do his semen sample and you really need to make sure you are both using contraception in the meantime. It usually takes 4-6 months to be 'clear' after a vasectomy.

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