Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Think Manners Are Going Down The Drain?

17 replies

dontcallmepeanut · 29/01/2011 17:26

Just a little debate. I've always raised DS to say please, thank you and excuse me. In fact, I'm often complimented on how polite he is. He's just turned 3. So why is it that apparent adults seem to struggle with these basics? One example, yesterday at uni, I held the door open for a girl on my course. Not so much as a nod of acknowledgment.

AIBU to think that if my 3 year old knows to say thank you to someone, then surely a fully grown woman of 19 should know as well? Hmm Or do I just expect too much? Debate away. Grin

OP posts:
Chil1234 · 29/01/2011 17:29

YANBU... it's some and some, though, rather than a universal problem. Have been blanked by old people and thanked by young ones. Listened to 'nice' young ladies swearing like navvies as they walk down a public street but had 'rough' looking young men help me with buggies on staircases. Manners costs nothing... wish it was more universal.

DoingTheBestICan · 29/01/2011 17:30

YANBU,had a trip to costco this afternoon & when we were going to pay a middle aged man barged past me & pushed his trolley into my side to push in.

I was fuming & said to him people like him were the reason this country has no manners.

My ds who is 4 has more manners in his little finger than a lot of adults.

DoingTheBestICan · 29/01/2011 17:35

Oh & last week whilst we were walking to school some of the older boys were chatting & one of them said piss off,but as soon as he saw me & ds he apologised.

So i agree with chil,there are rude people in all ages of life.

Original poster
dontcallmepeanut · 29/01/2011 17:36

Chilli, I knnow what you mean there. Sometimes the best manners come from who you least expect. I've been accused by my SIL for being too strict on manners, but surely there's nothing wrong in expecting your child to mind their p's and q's?

OP posts:
manicbmc · 29/01/2011 17:40

Good manners cost nothing. I once had a older woman barge into my dd when we were trying to get off a bus and she was trying to get on it. I reckon the old cow was about 60/65. Dd was 6 and shocked by her lack of manners.

As it was, I forget mine and told the old crone what a bad-mannered old trout I thought she was. Grin

5Foot5 · 29/01/2011 17:41

The door thing really annoys me too. I think some people just haven't been taught the etiquette of holding the door for the person behind, or that when someone holds it for you you are supposed to take hold of the door yourself.

So many times I have held a door and the person behind just walks through and you think "What - do you think I am the f*g door man!"

Almost amusing I think is when you hold the door and the person behind says thank you and walks through but doesn't take it from you! Clearly haven't ever been taught what to do in that situation and not bright enough to work it out for themselves but at least polite enough to thank me for what they assume is some gratuitous kindness

dementedma · 29/01/2011 17:58

my boss had to pick me up from home once as we were going to an early meeting together. As I approached the car, he got out in the rain and stood by the open boot so I could put my briefcase in and shut the boot for me. (I was going to just hold it on my knee)
I felt well posh Smile
DH - take note!

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 29/01/2011 18:02

If I'm with my DC's and they or I hold the door for someone who just barges through I just say at the top of my voice " Oh you're welcome" in my bestest sarcastic voice!

mutznutz · 29/01/2011 18:05

I'm a stickler for manners. I'm polite and so is my husband and kids.

I think it's sadly becoming ok not to say thank you though...and I know this sounds unreasonable but it really winds me up on Soaps/films/TV shows(especially kids ones) where someone hands someone a drink and they just take it...never a thanks to be heard!

anonacfr · 29/01/2011 18:07

Worse is when you see women with buggies chatting away.
Whenever the pavement is too narrow I always wait for them to walk by and half the time they don't even look up.

You're welcomes bitches.

crystalglasses · 29/01/2011 18:07

I think parents should pick up on children's bad manners. I was sitting by the magazines in my GP surgery and a young mum and her child (about 4-5 years old) were sitting nearby.
The child shoved me really hard to get at the magazines while the parent watched, without saying a word. I think the parent should have reminded the child to ask me politely to move, or at least apologised to me on behalf of the child.

bitofcheese · 29/01/2011 18:10

driving does it for me, if you waiting to give way in a narrow street and then eventually some twat slowly comes through, often on their mobile and doesn't so much as glance in your direction, even a small nodd would suffice as a form of gratitude, petty i know but it is bloody rude

DoingTheBestICan · 29/01/2011 18:12

Last week i was having a mooch round the market before work & there were some women with buggies looking at the same stall,anyway one of them went to move & an elderly lady was walking past at the same time & she stopped to have a look at the stall opposite.

Now i know it is slightly annoying when someone stops dead in front of you but what one of the women said really took the biscuit,she said 'just ram the old bag with yer wheels,she'll soon move'

AimingForSerenity · 29/01/2011 18:12

We live in an area that a lot of people retire to and I never cease to be amazed at the rudeness of some older people. They are the first to complain about lack of manners in the young but my children have faced some astonishing rudeness from them at times.

usualsuspect · 29/01/2011 18:15

Seems about the same as its always been to me

some people are polite, some are not, it has nothing to do with age

deburca · 29/01/2011 18:18

sorry just noticed your post, had mini rant on mine about 5 minutes ago! the ignorance of people sometimes!

deb

NinkyNonker · 29/01/2011 18:54

I'm a great one for the sarcastic "you're welcome" or similar, I tend to just get rather evil looks in return.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page