to have expected a thank you?

[hermioneweasley]

put £10 in christmas cards for each of friend's step sons (who are both teenagers)....not heard anything. AIBU to not bother next time? I know it's not the most massive amount of money, but I was brought up to say thank you for anything! wasn't expecting a long letter, but a txt or message?

what does the MN jury say?

Text wouldn't go astray. Does the mother or father know they each got a tenner? She might not have relised to "nag" them. Ideally they would be of an age where they would have learned to do this but depending on their age they might not be quite there yet but the mother/stepmother/father whatever might have missed this "learning oppportunity"...

It annoys me too, my DCs always do a quick thankyou note. It does seem that some families do write thankyou's and some just don't. You could always innocently check they did receive the money? I mean, they genuinely may not have got it?

i don't know if friend realises, however i would have expected that if they were grateful, they'd have sent a txt or message by now themselves. I have a feeling i'm being too sanctimonious, but I really feel like i won't bother next time!

I wouldn't do it again if you didn't get a thank you.

I have 2 teens, one would think to send a thankyou text, the other wouldn't. Never too old for a friendly reminder from mum or dad!

YANBU - put £50 in a card for each of our nephews for their birthdays recently (after giving them both £10 each at Christmas). No thank you messages at all. They are 18 and 21.

wow - tigerbear, I'd be extremely annoyed about that. and at 18 and 21 they are old enough to know that they are responsible for a thank you! you are a very generous auntie!

Hermione - the 18 year old has also recently stayed with DH and I for a week (which was actually lovely), including all meals cooked for him, and dinner out, but no thank you card from him or his parents. He is a great boy though - just think that thank you cards don't occur to some people.

I know what you mean, I feel really sad that presents go unacknowledged unless you are in the room when they are opened.

Really annoys me and I would not do it again-no thank you means they just did not appreciate it. There are no excuses for not saying thanks. It is very bad manners.

Can I ask about protocol - do people think a personal/phone thank you and a thank you note are required? We speak to everyone on Christmas day and everyone says thank you for their gifts to each other. That's it. As a child we were expected to write thank you notes in addition to this. I have to say I am lazy on my DS's behalf (he's only 3) and don't write cards if I have thanked the person in person or on the phone.

Do people get their children to do both?

Yanbu. I haven't had a single thank you from any of the Xmas presents I gave this year, despite sending than you notes for all dd's received. It's rude!

yanbu

ecards were the way to go this year but If I say thank you on the day, I don't also send a card. We got one from pil, we spent boxing day with them

Georgimama - I don't know about protocol but in my household if you see the gifted fivers over the Christmas hols or near future - you say thank you. No need for letter writing.

If you don't see them it's a thank you card or phone call (will also be text/email options when they are older).

For my boys there's lots of letter writing as our families and friends don't live near us.

I cannot understand why some people don't say thanks. It's so easy these days with technology.