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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to speak to the cashier

79 replies

justcarrots29 · 29/01/2011 13:11

I was at Sainsbury's this morning and the man serving me says hello (lovely, polite) and begins to scan my items. Halfway through he say "So are you doing anything nice tomorrow?".
Now of course this in not the first time this has happened but I mean WTF? Why on God's green Earth does he think I will tell him my social plans for Sunday??

It is lovely when when people say Hello, thank you please etc. I always say hello and thank you and please but I draw the line at some of the things I get asked at the checkout:

"Oh having guests this evening are we?"
"Oh that wine is lush but have you tried..."
"I think that colour will look lovely on you"
"Had a nice day today?"

OP posts:
Original poster
justcarrots29 · 29/01/2011 13:26

I am not grumpy or miserable - I just do not like to talk to the cashier about my personal life whilst packing shopping and watching my children etc. Like I said - I like manners and a smile and I always return the manners and smile. But I find it very intrusive when they comment on the products I buy or my plans for the day. Surely a simple 'Have a nice weekend etc' when I have paid is enough?

Looks like I am in the minority though!

OP posts:
mutznutz · 29/01/2011 13:31

You'd never shop in my local off license OP...the woman in there regularly tells me about her menopause and irregular periods...then asks me advice. I'm like WTF? Her daughter is a Doctor!!

Not the best mental image when I pop in for a pint of milk Hmm Lol

52Girls · 29/01/2011 13:32

You don't actually have to tell them your plans...who does? It's just called 'conversation'.

Original poster
justcarrots29 · 29/01/2011 13:32

Hehe Mutznutz - one to avoid I reckon Wink
I think I would rather have dry cereal then go there!!

OP posts:
Original poster
justcarrots29 · 29/01/2011 13:34

52Girls - I do reply - I don't just scowl and walk away! I just don't enjoy it. It is called being busy Wink

OP posts:
Bunbaker · 29/01/2011 13:34

YABU. Don't be so miserable. If you are feeling unsociable just apologise and say that you aren't feeling very sociable. I daresay you spoilt the cashier's day by being so grumpy.

I love it when people are being friendly. I had to ring British Gas this morning because we had no hot water. I made the guy's day when I told him that I was dirty, then said don't get any ideas, but I was having a bad hair day. He said he couldn't send Vidal Sassoon round but would get an engineer out today. I love friendly banter.

I hate it when cashiers in shops carry on chatting with their workmates, avoid eye contact with me and sometimes don't even bother telling me the price because I already have the money out. I have in the past carried out completely wordless transactions and they are so soulless.

BTW engineer has been and gone.

bitofcheese · 29/01/2011 13:36

most of the time i like the vibe and openess of people chatting to you/strangers chatting, not enough of it these days. in the three local food shopping places i go to i know the intimate details of alot of the cashiers ie one's husband died within the last year, now suffers depression, two are infertile, blah blah, odd really when i think i seem to get people opening up to me HOWEVER, not so good if hormonal/i am in a bad mood and desperately don't want anyone chatting to me, i have to try and avoid the cashiers i know and pay at one i don't. i do think it odd, although friendly when a cashier you have never met suddenly asks you what you are doing that weekend, what do you say....'off to a swingers meeting at 7pm', wish i had the front to do that, i would only be honest...... (grin)

usualsuspect · 29/01/2011 13:37

You miserable lot ...but then I will talk to anyone really ...they are actually people as well as cashiers you know

Original poster
justcarrots29 · 29/01/2011 13:38

Bumbaker - I DID answer him, thank him and smile! WOW - my first flaming I think!!

OP posts:
Carrie06 · 29/01/2011 13:38

My sis works part time in Waitrose and believe me, they are told to talk to customers. They are frequently assessed and can have someone standing watching them to ensure they are interacting with customers - if you don't interact with the cashier despite their attemtps to interact with you, the blame is placed on them. Give them a break, it's better than some grump barely grunting at you. Is it really that difficult to maintain a conversation for a couple of minutes? Just make it up if you can't be bothered to tell them the truth. YABU.

Original poster
justcarrots29 · 29/01/2011 13:39

Oh sorry I mean Bunbaker..... Blush

OP posts:
Bunbaker · 29/01/2011 13:46

Apologies justcarrots29 it wasn't meant to be a flaming. I must have crossed posts with you because I hadn't seen your post just before mine.

I guess I am just more sociable than you and will talk to anyone. Perhaps I need to get out more Smile (or get a job in a supermarket Wink)

Original poster
justcarrots29 · 29/01/2011 13:48

Ah thanks Bunbaker - I would happily have a conversation with you even if (shock horror) you were a cashier (usualsuspect - that one is for you Smile).

OP posts:
52Girls · 29/01/2011 13:53

''It is called being busy''

I see...but you're not exactly going anywhere else at that moment are you. You can surely pack and talk? It's called multi-tasking Wink

Deciduousblonde · 29/01/2011 13:55

You miserable lot ...but then I will talk to anyone really ...they are actually people as well as cashiers you know

Precisely.

Having a nice cashier at the supermarket makes my day..and responding similarly probably makes theirs too. They have enough grumpy gits to contend with without me adding to it.

Have a great day. I'm off to Sainsburys Smile

amelem · 29/01/2011 14:00

Yanbu it bugs me too! It is only in Sainsburys that I get asked questions like this, I bet they're trained to do this.

KathyImLost · 29/01/2011 14:08

I always find myself lying to hairdressers. I haven't been on holiday for years, got made redundant from a boring job, and am doing nothing at the weekend. So I say I'm going to some exotic / weird place, have some weird job like plate designer or something & am being vajazzled (how do you even spell that) at the weekend.

I change hairdressers quite a lot.

Anyway, yeh, YABU, you don't have to tell the truth in these scenarios, and if you turn the question around quickly you don't even have to talk much, i.e: I'm reupholstering my sofa this weekend, how about YOU?

See?

Ambi · 29/01/2011 14:09

Lol this has just happened to me whilst on he phone to my car insurance, I didn't know what to say to make my life sound more interesting than it really is!!!
But to balance it out- when I was a cashier I was pretty miserable. I was efficient and polite but never made any conversation - why would you want to chat about banal things when you've bought your groceries?? I had a comment once who said "at least in Asda they say hello" I snarled politely.

KerryMumbles · 29/01/2011 14:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlackSwan · 29/01/2011 14:23

A male cashier at Tesco actually touched my baby. Now that's not ok.

What I find truly detestable as a customer is when I'm making conversation about something I'm purchasing and the sales assistant clearly just wants to process the purchase and see me out. So rude. So very British.

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 29/01/2011 14:38

could you imagine being sat at the till for 8hrs and just about the only conversation you get it is "morning/after, thank you, please, good bye"

Whether they're told to or not I don't blame the for starting conversations - it's a miserably bloody life - I actually "watched guard" while the checkout woman had a sip of water from a bottle - as they weren't allowed to drink anything while they were working!

barteringlines · 29/01/2011 14:45

YANBU. Having been both a cashier and a customer the best transactions imo are swift and friendly. The cashier no more wants to talk to a complete stranger about the details of their life than you want to talk to them - they want to get rid of their queue so they can gossip to their mates have a well-earned break. And people shopping with kids generally just want to be in and out as quick as possible.

BusyMissIzzy · 29/01/2011 14:53

This is why I love my hairdresser. She asks after me and my family when I arrive, but after that I bury my nose in a magazine. none of the inane questions about weekend plans and holidays. Sure, some people like to chat to their hairdresers, but I like the fact that mine has realised that I'm a grumpy cow I'd rather relax and enjoy some peace and quiet for once.

So YANBU :)

bitofcheese · 29/01/2011 15:05

you could always use, i do now sometimes, the self checkout!! although i think it stinks in a way as it may eventually leed to them laying off cashiers so i only sometimes use them, prefer a cashier to a self checkout job

SuchProspects · 29/01/2011 15:06

Baroque When I worked on a checkout I rather liked not having to talk much. I could be friendly enough and get through punching everything into the till (in the days before scanners) while lost in my own little world. Made for a very stress free job. Making chit-chat with customers would have ruined the job for me.

People are different. I don't think it's U to want to talk or to not want to talk. It's just the way people are. So long as everyone tries to be polite when they get asked something, and no one gets in a huff if someone doesn't want to chat then we ought to be able to manage to live with this tiny bit of diversity without a civil war.

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