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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Have I missed something?

67 replies

OracleInaCoracle · 29/01/2011 11:51

Is it a half term and noone bothered to tell me?
full moon?
are people just bored and trying to poke a stick at us?

I know its probably related to the media attention (again) we had the EE thing where the media seemed to try to show MN as campaigning harpies trying to take on the beeb. then not long after we had R's situation and the craziness that started as a result of that, but the board seems to be going crazy! we've had a zillion controversial threads, some out and out nastiness, arguing amongst ourselves about pretty much everything, a series of trolls/namechangers and some serious weirdness. AIBU to hanker after the days when mn was just for idle chit chat about rubbish?!

OP posts:
ShowOfHands · 29/01/2011 11:54

I normally at these threads but I know what you mean. It's been very odd here lately. Lots of trolls (really nasty ones, obvious ones, strange ones), a lot of mean behaviour.

In 6/7 years I've never known it be so strange. MN is much bigger now but it's not pleasant atm.

There are still pockets of sanity though, but harder to find atm.

Sure it'll settle down.

Original poster
OracleInaCoracle · 29/01/2011 11:55

no, actually, I dont hanker after the "good old days" websites and forums change, I just dont know why the place has gone so mad the last month!

OP posts:
Original poster
OracleInaCoracle · 29/01/2011 11:56

exactly showy, it feels as if a bunch of schoolboys got together in their IT room and are daring each other to start threads!

OP posts:
mutznutz · 29/01/2011 11:58

One person's idle chit chat is another person's controversy.

Also, it's difficult for newbies to start any new discussions without being told "This has been done to death" or "Go read this thread on that subject"

Things may have been done to death for those who are never off their computers...or who have been here for years, but that doesn't give them the monopoly on the topics people want to discuss.

Original poster
OracleInaCoracle · 29/01/2011 12:01

mutz, im not talking about those types of threads, im talking about threads such as the SAHM ones which are obvious trollery, the soft porn one in relationships, the current one on DLA... anyone will quite happily repeat something they wrote 5 years ago for a genuine newbie, but there are some pretty nasty threads at the mo.

OP posts:
pastapestofor6 · 29/01/2011 12:02

I am a quiet mumsnetter although I have been around for about 7 years, I feel the same way as you, its like the ground has ever so slightly shifted and I can't quite get my footing?. Also the trollery has become so bad that I'm finding that unless the post is from a name I recognise I'm taking everything with a huge pinch of salt and I don't like feeling like that as genuine op's needing help could not get it.

ShowOfHands · 29/01/2011 12:04

Nothing wrong with newbies, threads of old or any of that. Nobody is saying you can't repeat a topic, happens all the time. I don't think this thread is an oldies vs newbies thing in the slightest.

It's the deliberate, nasty, provocative posting that's happening at the moment. It's downright hurtful.

Original poster
OracleInaCoracle · 29/01/2011 12:09

"and I don't like feeling like that as genuine op's needing help could not get it." totally agree with pasta. the trollery is making people hesitant to post advice/help because there is so much going on and noone wants to get sucked in.

"It's the deliberate, nasty, provocative posting that's happening at the moment. It's downright hurtful" yep.

OP posts:
mutznutz · 29/01/2011 12:09

Oh I understand what you're saying now OP.

Yes well sadly you get that on a lot of forums. The trouble is, people can't resist reacting to them rather than ignoring them...hence the reason they do it I suppose.

LaWeaselMys · 29/01/2011 12:15

I guess we just have to wait it out...

Original poster
OracleInaCoracle · 29/01/2011 12:18

mutz, i know, but as pasta says, that means that genuine posters dont get the help they need. its been suggested that the reason R got so much help is because she is well known, I cant help thinking that if that is the fact, its the trolls to blame.

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Original poster
OracleInaCoracle · 29/01/2011 12:20

LaWeasel, yep, it'll calm down eventually.

btw, I just want to make clear, that this thread isnt abour specific cases, they are just examples.

OP posts:
thenightsky · 29/01/2011 12:22

Come over to Style and Beauty. We are still the same over there.

mutznutz · 29/01/2011 12:25

I know what you mean regarding not getting help due to the trolls.

But I speak as a newbie (4 weeks) and I do think there are a 'hardcore' of regulars who also put newbies off asking for help.

Imagine having a genuine problem and getting a line of biscuits posted at you because some regs have 'heard it all before'? Or 'Yaawwn' because your problem is the same as other posters have had in the past...say for example to do with breast feeding or your child not being invited to a wedding.

Yes the trolls do stop newbies getting help...but they're not the only ones who put them off IMO.

ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 29/01/2011 12:27

I agree - there's a weird vibe going on.

However, (and not getting at you at all!), there have been a few threads like this and I don't think it helps. The trolls feed off of knowing it's annoying us.

I think the best thing to do is...

  • Not start any more of these 'what's going on threads'.
  • Just ignore trolls, don't even post on the thread and it will drop off quicker. If you see a poster getting upset or whatever over an obvious troll you can PM them - give them a heads up.
  • Start threads that interest you.
  • Reply with patience to the old chestnuts or ignore them - don't post things like 'this has been done to death' because for many of us that's true, but it was the case when we joined too Wink and it upsets genuine new posters.

Anyway, that's my tuppence worth :)

Original poster
OracleInaCoracle · 29/01/2011 12:28

but I am neither stylish nor beautiful Grin how long dya think it'll be before someone starts a "AIBU to give my FF pampers wearing 3 month old a fruit shoot and sausage roll in the 4x4 because Im late to school despite being a DLA claiming SAHM who needs a new 72" TV and Im meeting my illicit lesbian lover before we go to the local clinic to apply for NHS funded IVF" thread.

OP posts:
Original poster
OracleInaCoracle · 29/01/2011 12:29

chippingin, have there? sorry, I didngt know (not been on much because of weirdness)

OP posts:
ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 29/01/2011 12:31

Mutz - I still can't believe you are a 'newbie' of only 4 weeks - you fit like an old pair of slippers :) Well, actually you fit more like the left one of my pair - it's weird Confused. Then there are other times you fit like trying to wear a stiletto on one foot and a slipper on the other!! Grin

mutznutz · 29/01/2011 12:32

That's good advice chipping

I'm thick skinned and tough as old boots lol but if I wasn't, I probably would have run a mile by now Grin

liquiditytrap · 29/01/2011 12:32

As long as people react angrily to what is blatantly a wind-up, it will keep happening.

mutznutz · 29/01/2011 12:34

Haha so true chipping!! Grin

I've been around the internet for years though...on forums almost exactly the same as this one. They all suffer from trolls, regs who argue with each other, people who think they own the joint...etc.

MN really isn't that different to other forums in that respect...just badly laid out with no quote or auto update button Wink

ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 29/01/2011 12:35

LissieLou - save that one for when things calm down a bit Grin

Stay away from the GIN it helps NO ONE!!!

Yes Lissie there have, just people like you wondering what the hell is going on to our normally great place! Don't apologise, not at all... as I said, I wasn't getting at you - I just think it feeds the trolls - helps them get their kicks.

That'a the other thing, we need the regular crew (whether they've been here a lifetime or a week) to stay and keep posting, if people stay away due to the weirdness it just gets boring and more weird!

mutznutz · 29/01/2011 12:39

That's another thing that makes me Grrrrr lol. I just get used to the regs and then they go and name change all over the place (I do understand people have their reasons) but it can make MN so impersonal at times.

ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 29/01/2011 12:40

Mutz - thank god there's no 'quote' facility (it gets suggested frequently and knocked back!) it would be one huge, horrible mess with that going on - uerghghghghgh. I like the idea of another ** or ^^ type thing that changes the font so you still have to C&P, but you can easily identify that it's a quote.

What do you mean by 'it's badly laid out'?

ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 29/01/2011 12:43

Mutz - me too Grin I like to know who is who and build up a 'relationship' with people rather than it just being about the one thread. It also helps when you are replying to a post if you know a bit of the backstory - especially in relationships, but even in AIBU.

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