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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my pregnant uterus hates me?

11 replies

Thandeka · 29/01/2011 07:47

My non pregnant uterus and I muddle along fine most of the time. The odd period twinge but none of the woes some ladies have so I considered myself lucky. Until my uterus started getting pregnant that is. That is when she decided to turn into Bitch uterus from he'll.

My uterus has been pregnant 3times now since Jan 2009. I had a missed miscarriage of my first pregnancy at 10weeks in April 2009 which was devastating but then my uterus was kind enough to get pregnant with a sticky one straight after. My pregnancy wasn't easy but wasn't awful either but the birth of my beautiful DD was HELL- so bad that Dd ended up in NICU for a week with suspected brain damage pneumonia etc etc. And I am a jibbering wreck around pregnancy and birth. So my uterus decides to spring a "suprise" pregnancy (Christmas drunk shagging so knew it was possibility) on me last week. I go into meltdown a little, I start to 'miscarry' I am gutted but tad relieved in equal measure :( Then the pain gets worse and worse and no clots have passed so we go to hospital. It's ectopic. When in surgery they discover it's already ruptured and my tube and pregnancy is removed. So yeah if I was playing "my uterus hates me bingo" I really hope I have full house now! Not sure I can take any more of her attacks on my babies. Sigh.

Maybe I need to wave a white flag to her and try and start a peacekeeping process?
P.s I know this isn't a proper aibu thread but the mc topic didn't feel appropriate for this rant. Am fine at the minute though don't worry- probably bit shellshocked! My 4th pregnancy is going to be lovely right- a lovely worry free pregnancy and a birth where the baby is tickled out by faries right?

OP posts:
Original poster
Thandeka · 29/01/2011 07:48

He'll!? I meant hell fucking autocorrect

OP posts:
KaraStarbuckThrace · 29/01/2011 07:51

Oh Thankdeka Sad you rant away!! I can certainly understand why you feel your uterus is conspiring against you Smile

I take it your TTCing again?I hope you have a successful trouble free 4th pregnancy.

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 29/01/2011 07:55

Sorry to hear you've had such a hard time Sad . No one ever warns you that starting a family is such a bloody minefield do they?

I really do hope your 4th pregnancy will be a great one.

None of this is your fault, none of it. So please don't blame yourself.

Original poster
Thandeka · 29/01/2011 08:02

Well only had surgery for ectopic on Wednesday and still in fair bit of pain can't lift dd up etc (she's one in a week and is a joy and probably reason am not totally hysterical about ectopic) but we prob won't ttc #2 (though it will be #4sob) until 3months or so have passed for healing. Have both ovaries still but I do know that ovary on now tubeless side was better at ovulating so am hoping the other side will step up! Lissie tells me ovaries turn into super ovaries post procedure so with any luck they will bitch slap my silly uterus into doing what it is told. (want to make bad pun along lines of cutting tube off to spite her womb- ala cutting nose off to spite face) but probably need to stop being quite so flippant. DH keeps pointing out I nearly died after all!

OP posts:
OracleInaCoracle · 29/01/2011 10:42
AtYourCervix · 29/01/2011 10:52

I hated my body when i had my ectopic. A doctor tried to pursuade me to agreee to try to save my tube but I couldn't imagine keeping it ate it let me down so badly. I insisted I wanted it out. Turns out when they got in there it had started to rupture so they took it anyway. I was furious with it.

Post surgery I was just relieved to be alive for the DDs I already had and was weirdly fine. The greiving (and complete brain fuck up) came a few months later. The whole coming to terms with potentially dying, surgery, pain, fucked up fertility, baby loss was too much.

I'm saner now but it took a while. Be gentle with yourself.

ShowOfHands · 29/01/2011 10:56

What a load of utter bollocks for you.

Fertility/conception/birth is so much harder than you ever thought it would be when you were giggling over line drawings in primary sex ed isn't it?

Be a bit kind to yourself for a while. The shock will probably hit later.

And yes your next pregnancy will be like being licked by kittens.

I'm sorry.

Honeybee79 · 29/01/2011 10:59

Sorry to hear that you're having a shite time. Be good to yourself.

OracleInaCoracle · 29/01/2011 11:00

atyourcervix speaks much sense. the feelings around an ep are very complicated. i remember trying to get off the bed as i was wheeled down to theatre and getting pretty hysterical as they were prepping me. it all seemed so dramatic and scary! with my mcs the babies had died. but with the ep, I had to sign the forms allowing them to remove the pregnancy. I was furious with everyone, the doctors for putting me through it, the baby for not going that little bit further and my body for fucking up so spectacularly. tbh, im still pretty traumatised by it.

have you checked out the EPT?

AtYourCervix · 29/01/2011 11:09

I second EPT they really got me through some very hard times.

Original poster
Thandeka · 01/02/2011 19:58

cheers guys really helpful. Sorry for the delayed response- have limited net access at the minute.

Blimming stitches got infected and now on antibiotics and have to go back next week as have a stitch hanging out that they couldnt cut without it possibly unravelling.

I think a huge part of why I am so numb about this EP is because I was so scared shitless about being pregnant and going through labour again that losing it was a relief- which sounds completely awful and it isnt quite like that- but does indicate I need more help with the birth trauma stuff as well as the MC and EP. So have asked doc to refer me.

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