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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Male driver hit me from behind and tried to intimidate me into admitting fault ...wwyd?

101 replies

Cain · 28/01/2011 21:03

Pulling away in stop start traffic, the transit van behind ploughed into me.
I was in shock trying to collect my thoughts when my driver door was pulled open and the driver of the other vehicle stuck his head in my vehicle and shouted " what are you doing?" I answered "you ran into me!" He started yelling, I cannot remember what but I was scared so I pulled the door shut, he fought with me but I managed to get it closed enough to catch and lock it - not completely because the 'door open' siren was going off although it took me a few second to realise what it was.
He went back to his vehicle and I could just about see him in the rear view gesticulating and yelling.

He came back another two times trying to open my door, banging on the window and yelling through the glass trying to get me to admit fault.

I had called the police and as soon as the traffic police arrived he stopped the ott behaviour but still strutted up and down the hard shoulder yelling down his mobile phone.

The traffic police, my insurers and a third party no win no fee type set up have said they can see no fault on my part so my question is this...

After being scared, upset, and now bloody angry I now want to 'do' this sexist bastard as I am quite sure he would not have behaved like that had I been a male driver.

How do I get some justice against him?

I am going to contact the police tomorrow to ask their opinion as well as Enterprise, the owners of the vehicle that hit me.

Can anyone offer any further thoughts. I hate the sexism of it. He should not get away with behaving like that towards a lone female driver he had run into the back of.

OP posts:
ItsMeMo · 28/01/2011 21:05

Speak to the Police. Could possibly be a section 5 public order act.

thisisyesterday · 28/01/2011 21:05

afaik if you go into the back of someone you are automatically at fault, so you shouldn't have a problem at all

sheeplikessleep · 28/01/2011 21:05

How utterly shit. Sorry you experienced this. Did you mention it to the police at the time? I don't know what you can do.

ItsMeMo · 28/01/2011 21:06

Sorry hit enter too quick!

I hope you are ok.

hairyfairylights · 28/01/2011 21:07

If ge went into you it's his fault by default. Not sure if you can do him for stuff like harassment intimidation and disturbance of the peace?

mercibucket · 28/01/2011 21:10

don't really know but I'd be speaking to the police and pushing them to charge him with something or other - sounds vile
I expect your shoulder has started aching has it? and your neck? Wink

gordyslovesheep · 28/01/2011 21:10

it's not your fault and YANBU - if you where a man he would probably have hit you - he is an idiot - are you okay?

CubaCat · 28/01/2011 21:10

God, his attitude was appalling! Hope you are ok. Part of it was probably because he knew he was at fault, and was probably concerned he'd lose his job so was desperately trying to get you to admit fault, so he could be let off. I'm not trying to excuse his behaviour by the way, just considering what could have caused it. And yes, I agree with you that he wouldn't have done that to a man. You do right contacting the police and his employers. He needs to learn that he can't go around intimidating people like that - I mean, opening your car door and getting in your face??! Unacceptable.

Original poster
Cain · 28/01/2011 21:10

ItsMeMo thanks, is there anywhere I can read up what constitutes a section 5 public order act breach...thing?

OP posts:
mercibucket · 28/01/2011 21:11

and don't forget the hire car all on expenses - don't get mad - get even etc

NoWayNoHow · 28/01/2011 21:11

As other posters have mentioned, if someone drives into the back of you they are automatically at fault as they were not at a safe following distance (there are VERY few exceptions to this).

If you felt intimidated, I would definitely go to the police (did you get any details/names of the police that attended the scene?)and just get everything that happened documented for use later, and see if they classify it as a violent or aggressive act?

kerala · 28/01/2011 21:12

Shocking how unpleasant what a bastard. An elderly lady drove into the back of me and as we surveyed my stoved in boot she said " I think it was like that already" ha good try.

TheChewyToffeeMum · 28/01/2011 21:12

I was in a similar situation a few years ago. The other driver insisted police were not necessary at the time as no-one was hurt.

After it happened I went to my local police station to give a statement about what happened including his behaviour.

I did eventually get compensation through the insurance company (not v much mind!) but it took well over a year to process.

It is a horrible situation to be in. I felt really angry with myself for not standing up for myself at the time but I realise it was probably the safest thing to do.

TiggyD · 28/01/2011 21:14

After reading your post I can't see any sexism.

If he couldn't stop in time it's his fault, either for being not good enough with brakes or for being too close he couldn't stop in time.

ZillionChocolate · 28/01/2011 21:14

5 Harassment, alarm or distress.E+W

(1)A person is guilty of an offence if he?

(a)uses threatening, abusive or insulting words or behaviour, or disorderly behaviour, or

(b)displays any writing, sign or other visible representation which is threatening, abusive or insulting,

within the hearing or sight of a person likely to be caused harassment, alarm or distress thereby.

(2)An offence under this section may be committed in a public or a private place, except that no offence is committed where the words or behaviour are used, or the writing, sign or other visible representation is displayed, by a person inside a dwelling and the other person is also inside that or another dwelling.

(3)It is a defence for the accused to prove?

(a)that he had no reason to believe that there was any person within hearing or sight who was likely to be caused harassment, alarm or distress, or

(b)that he was inside a dwelling and had no reason to believe that the words or behaviour used, or the writing, sign or other visible representation displayed, would be heard or seen by a person outside that or any other dwelling, or

(c)that his conduct was reasonable.

(4)A constable may arrest a person without warrant if?

(a)he engages in offensive conduct which [F2a] constable warns him to stop, and

(b)he engages in further offensive conduct immediately or shortly after the warning.

(5)In subsection (4) ?offensive conduct? means conduct the constable reasonably suspects to constitute an offence under this section, and the conduct mentioned in paragraph (a) and the further conduct need not be of the same nature.

(6)A person guilty of an offence under this section is liable on summary conviction to a fine not exceeding level 3 on the standard scale.

berri · 28/01/2011 21:14

Gosh poor you, hoe awful :(

Reiterate what the others have said about not being at fault if someone drives into the back of you - they should have left enough room.

Hope you get this sorted - what a twat.

Original poster
Cain · 28/01/2011 21:14

YEs I do hurt, neck and shoulders, feel the need to get strapped into a medieval wrack...
but that will fade, its god awful knowledge that men think they can intimidate female drivers into admitting a fault that clearly isn't there.
Its not just me, I want to 'do' him as a public service because it was a horrible experience and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

OP posts:
berri · 28/01/2011 21:14

how even

SpeedyGonzalez · 28/01/2011 21:15

Just sympathising. What a pathetic, cretinous little wretch. Poor you.

Grumpla · 28/01/2011 21:16

Bastard!
Agree you should report both to the police and his employers. Traffic accident is one thing, him wrestling your door open etc sounds like a physical attack.

Original poster
Cain · 28/01/2011 21:16

TiggyD the sexism is that if I were a male driver he would not have abused and intimidated me in the way that he did.

He thought I was an easy target.

OP posts:
ZillionChocolate · 28/01/2011 21:17

Unless you've minimised the description of what he did, I doubt he'd be prosecuted.

If you hire a car, you will need to justify it. Don't behave unreasonably just to spite him, you may end up paying for it. (I'm not saying that car hire would/wouldn't be justified - I know nothing about your circumstances).

valiumredhead · 28/01/2011 21:17

If he went into you then he was too close.

Go to your GP and tell him you have had an accident and it can go on your notes, then if you need to have physio you can be referred.

You poor thing Sad

FudgeGirl · 28/01/2011 21:18

Not quite the same thing, but a works van ran into the back of me (I had to get out of my car to make sure the driver was ok as he hit me so hard I was worried he'd killed himself - he was fine and very polite/upset).

But, his company was incredibly slow to admit liability so I could upgrade my courtesy car (my insurance company wouldn't upgrade it until they knew it wasn't my fault, although I was stationary at the time).

I got the MD's name and rang him, daily sometimes, until it was sorted and liability was admitted.

If it was a company vehicle, I'd take it up with them as well as the police - but I'd wonder why you didn't make a complaint to the traffic police at the time?

TartyMcFarty · 28/01/2011 21:18

CubaCat, if it was an Enterprise van then it'd a rental isn't it, so probably more to do with money than concerned about losing his job.