AIBU to resent unhappy but vocal colleagues?

[frgr]

I have a colleague whom I don't know particularly well (have been on a few nights out but never really chatted to him much one-to-one), he occasionally comes through to our department for a chat since we're by the coffee machine at the door.

In the 4 months i've been at this desk, there have been several examples of rather severe moaning about conditions/pay/holiday entitlement instigated by this employee, loudly and vocally, across the whole team. There has also been 2 occasions where the employee collared me at the coffee machine and engaged in such talk (once when I asked him if he had a client meeting in our conference room as he was in a suit, to which he replied no i'm going for an interview at 2pm... the 2nd time where i bumped into him on the way out the door, he was leaving early (he starts at 9am, i start at 8am) to attend another job interview).

AIBU to not want to hear any of this, and to think it's just - well - inappropriate? We're at the same level, so it's not like he's complaining to a boss. But being so blatently unhappy about working conditions here is something I just dont' want to be party to!

I originally suspected he might be a mole (paranoid much?) because he's just a colleague, not a friend, and maybe this was something the new project manager did to assess motivation levels in staff? But now I think i was just being paranoid

Every time this happens at our bank of desks, i don't join in the conversation unless addressed directly, and if talking to him personally, i make non-commital noises but don't agree with anything he says in case I end up getting labelled a troublemaker too!

Example: this morning he was in here complaining about how his wife gets an extra bank holiday for the royal wedding, but we don't, and how "stingey" our boss is, how much he's looking forward to going to an interview at 4.30pm today... etc.

AIBU to want to scream "keep it to yourself"? And hope the guy finds another job to moan about soon?

p.s. this complaining is always out of ear shot of the big boss (department head) so it's not management knowledge (as far as I'm aware) that he's looking for other work.

Ironic really in that our case loads will increase at the end of the month due to winning a rather large contract from the governmetn to extend our services, and they're having a hell of a time trying to recruit 3 positions at his level as it is!

I had a terrible moaner in a previous job, and it was really demoralising. (He also used to be actively upleasant). I feel for you. Do your colleagues feel the same about him, or the same as him? Does his moaning gee them up to complain, too? If so, you could always take him aside and tell him to stop poisoning the atmospehere (I so wish I had done this with our griper! I did tell him to stop arguing with the colleague he was bullying, and he looked shocked that someone would stop him) or you will make it a productivity issue with your boss. Moany is scarcely going to complain to the boss about his right to moan, is he?

If you want to stop him in more unofficial ways, could you say loudly, "Right, could you keep it down, as I'm about to get on the phone for an important call, and you are being distracting." Then keep making phone calls. It could increase your productivity amazingly, and win you lots of friends!

See that's the funny thing - none of my other colleagues moan as much as him, but neither are they as non-commital as me - sort of inbetween. But they've all been on this project 2+ yrs so maybe they just know how this guy is?

unfortunately if i was to raise this as a distraction at a more senior level, it would be to the board i.e. very snr levels. Which might end up getting him fired or something drastic, which i don't want any part of... yet my attempts to deal with it unofficially haven't put him off either (i've tried the "sorry i'm busy", smile and make soothing noises, try to reason with him "actually it's not that bad, DH is on call this bank holiday".. nothing works!

"Keep it to yourself" sounds good. Alternatively try "Complain to someone who can make a difference or shut the fuck up".

Do you need his goodwill to do your job? If it is bad enough to get him fired, then you could just take him aside and tell him people are noticing and he is going to get kicked out before he's ready to go. Doesn't he know there's a recession on? Be disingenuous and pretend you don't know that the company is having a hard time with the recruitment. If you are really up for being tough, you could just tell him you're sick of his whining!

Sorry, I don't know what else to suggest! I hope these little fantasies are of help in easing your frustration, though, From experience, I know how good it feels to have a good gossip with someone else who dislikes an unpleasant colleague who is getting away with too much. My boss and I (parallel structure to the moaner) and Moany's colleagues used to have some really good laughs relieving our feelings about Moany!