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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let DD have half a day off for a blood test?

53 replies

oopslateagain · 28/01/2011 11:53

DD is 13 and has a heart condition which means she has been poked, prodded and generally messed about with by doctors all her life.

We had a disastrous scan at GOSH where the doc hit an artery instead of a vein and blood went everywhere, it really hurt too. DD is now saying she hates needles. Sad

I took her to the doctor yesterday, I think she might be anaemic, and he agrees and has booked DD in for a blood test next week, it's at 9:00am. DD is really not happy about it, but will be good and will go and have it done, she's resigned to just letting the docs have their way when things need doing. Sad But she's said several times she wishes she doesn't have to have the blood test.

I told her we will go and buy some cakes and have a nice morning at home, and we'll tell the school she felt woozy after the needle, she can go in halfway through the day. That made her much happier, though she's still a bit scared.

But I mentioned it to my friend and she is shocked that I would let DD miss 3 school lessons when she could actually be there 15 minutes after school starts.

AIBU to try and cheer DD up with a 'bribe' of a nice morning at home? She really doesn't miss any school usually, I don't think it will matter but my friend thinks I'm setting a dangerous example and that DD will 'try it on' in the future.

OP posts:
KalokiMallow · 28/01/2011 12:41

yanbu sounds like your dd is being really brave after her last experience! I think she deserves a break

Original poster
oopslateagain · 28/01/2011 12:44

Just to point out - GOSH are brilliant, they are very very caring and nice. They had a rotten time getting a line into DD that day, they'd tried 3 times on one arm, but couldn't locate a good vein. 2nd time time trying the other arm and the doc hit the artery. They were brilliant, DD was actually quite calm, it was me that went wobbly when her blood shot up the wall (and all over the doctor).

OP posts:
Blu · 28/01/2011 12:44

I also have a child who has lots of medical appts, some of which can be v unpleasant.

I don't think this is about school, I think it's about how you and your child manage the difficult appointments - and if the prospect of some nice time with Mum and Cake afterwards is comfortaing and gives her something to focus on, then that's FINE.

Personally, I wouldn't have told her that we would tell the school anything untrue, I would just have built the visit to the cafe afterwards in as part of the whole event and not given the idea that it was 'skiving' or that you were making excuses to the school.

In any case, it is perfectly reasonable to recover fom something that IS upsetting before going back to school.

maighdlin · 28/01/2011 12:45

YANBU my DD has some conditions and require regular blood tests scans etc. she is only 18 months but when i have to take her to hospital I do something nice with her after. I think im being too emotional about it but the wee thing has all sorts of things done to her and she hasn't a clue why so she gets to do something nice afterwards. my mum did the same with me when i was younger particularly with my hip problems. i had a terrible time and it seemed like my whole life revolved around my hips so when i had to go to physio or other appointments my mum and dad did something nice with me, like we'd all go out to dinner or the cinema, i'd get a new top etc. It takes the focus away from it being the day i had to do x to the day i went to see Y.

Punkatheart · 28/01/2011 13:02

Sorry to bang on about this point but I am extremely hard to extract blood from - they always have trouble. I must have had hundreds of blood tests. But no nurse or doctor has ever hit an artery. IT SHOULD NOT HAPPEN.

Sorry to hear about your little one too maighdlin - just proves what a lovely caring mum can do....

kazmus · 28/01/2011 13:05

my dd had 2 blood tests a week for her entire school life due to her heart condition. We always had a half day and she went on to get a BSc Hons so not a lot missed really! If your dd is worried by the needles make sure she asks for Emla cream, its a local anaesthetic cream you put on about an hour before and completely numbs the area. Your gp should be able to give you some on prescription...we used to stockpile it!! One bad experience can really affect your childs response to future treatment so anything that makes it easier for them is ok in my book, cream, cakes half days and loads of tlc.

kazmus · 28/01/2011 13:08

just thought of something else! They do seem to like youngsters blood tests from the back of their hand...ask them to do it from the bend of elbow, much less painful and just as easy to whack the cream on before!

GoldFrakkincenseAndMyrrh · 28/01/2011 13:16

Wincy (fab name!) that's exactly what I meant. Don't worry oops - it's a standard test and less blood than some others!

I know that if I'm stressed and wound up about having a blood test (because I've had time to get myself into a tizz or it's one where they take loads or like the GTT where they do one and then another later on) I take longer to get over it than if the doc/nurse/mw just says they need some blood, pike it and it's all over. Plus if I'm stressed before it takes longer to find the vein, persuade the blood to come out etc which winds me up even more and it's a vicious circle.

It honestly is just a blood test, but if she's getting wound up it won't feel like 'just' a blood test and letting her know she can have the half day to relax and get herself back together is the right thing to do.

Punkatheart · 28/01/2011 13:38

Did you know that if you are very nervous and know that there may be a problem - you can ask for a finer needle? The nurse/doctor can then decant it afterwards - plus it doesn't hurt at all.

Being hydrated is also very important. Helps the whole thing.

VeronicaCake · 28/01/2011 13:46

YANBU - I had to have a blood test on Wed and I definitely needed a cake afterwards. And your DD has had a scary experience before. But this one won't be scary, getting a small sample to do a full blood count will be dead easy for a trained phlebotomist. If your DD looks away she will prob be surpried at how quickly it is over.

But do try not to faint. I had my wisdom teeth out under local anaesthetic when I was 12 (they came in way too soon so had to come straight out) and my Mum fainted dead away when she saw the needle they were going to use. This did not help!

kazmus · 28/01/2011 13:47

and warm!

ZillionChocolate · 28/01/2011 14:51

YABU in lying to the school, and pre-planning it with your daughter.

YANBU in doing something nice with her afterwards. Surely you just tell the school she won't be in for the morning because she's going for a blood test but you plan she'll be back in the afternoon.

WincyEtNightie · 28/01/2011 15:05

I'm fine with blood tests btw (after thyroid deficiency, anaemia, RA, two children & gestational diabetes I have to be) but did once faint when I took my younger brother for stitches to a very deep cut to the knee. He was about 9, I was 17.

I was cool, calm and genuinely interested in the process right up to the point they put the bandage on. Then went very pale and he had to hop off the bed so they could lie me down with head lower than knees. Blush Grin

PixieOnaLeaf · 28/01/2011 15:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
oopslateagain · 28/01/2011 15:14

Blimey Zillion, I wasn't lying and pre-planning! Blush The receptionist booked teh blood test for the first appointment so DD wouldn't have to miss any school. When we came out of the docs and she looked so down and awful, I wanted to make it all seem better so I just said "well after the blood test, we'll ring the school, tell them you're feeling woozy and you can go in later, and we can get some nice cakes and go home and cuddle up on the sofa" and she cheered up a bit.

I already said I'd speak to DD later today and let her know we won't lie to the school - I just wasn't thinking at the time, but it IS wrong to make it sound like that is OK to do.

I just hope the phlebotomist gets the vein first time, I don't want one slip-up to turn into a full blown phobia Sad.

OP posts:
saggarmakersbottomknocker · 28/01/2011 15:23

oops - my dd also has a heart condition and also had needle phobia around that age - much sympathy.

I'd let her have a half a day. Good idea to go first thing and get it over with. Does she have a ipod or similar. dd has hers on -I sit on her other side and she holds my hand and just tells them to get on with it.

Good luck with it -hope it goes OK. How is she doing otherwise?

Original poster
oopslateagain · 28/01/2011 16:00

Sorry to hear about your dd, saggarmakersbottomknocker. Nice idea with the mp3, I'll suggest that to her.

She is fine day-to-day; just needs keeping an eye on, IYKWIM.

OP posts:
DaisySteiner · 28/01/2011 16:04

I would recommend that you get her to wear gloves beforehand - if you're cold it makes it much harder to find a vein.

eden263 · 28/01/2011 16:12

YANBU but rather than lying to the school, can you just say she won't be in that morning as she has a blood test? You don't have to tell them the appointment time, and that way it's not a lie, just not the full facts! Wink

Poor kid, hope it's not too traumatic for her.

Original poster
oopslateagain · 28/01/2011 16:17

Is that right Daisy? Makes sense, it was a freezing cold day at GOSH and she was in a gown thingy, she had had one scan already and said it was really cold in the scan room. She kept shoving her hands up my jumper to warm them up!

Note: mp3, check. Gloves, check. Cakes, mmmm, check Grin

OP posts:
Quenelle · 28/01/2011 16:18

YANBU

Children with long-term illnesses have to be so stoic, they deserve to be spoiled from time to time. I hope the blood test is not too bad an experience for her.

Original poster
oopslateagain · 07/02/2011 11:00

I am waiting for the doctor to ring with the blood test results. He's ringing after his morning surgery.

I was stupid and googled anaemia and found out that if she DOES have it she'll need another blood test in a few weeks to check her iron levels.

I so, so don't want her to have another blood test.

(the phlebotomy nurse was brilliant by the way, hit vein first time and was done in 30 seconds. We had cake. Grin)

OP posts:
kreecherlivesupstairs · 07/02/2011 11:12

Good for the cake. Fingers crossed that your DDs Hb levels are OK.

Original poster
oopslateagain · 07/02/2011 11:49

Well I just got off the phone, she does have anaemia but only mild.

Iron tablets for six weeks and then another blood test. Sad

I won't tell her about the blood test until the day before!

OP posts:
kodokan · 07/02/2011 11:53

Iron tablets can be really constipating - could she have the syrup instead? If not, boost her diet accordingly and get her to keep up her fluids.