To think that my daughters teacher has some sort of a problem with my family?

[Fernie3]

My daughter is in year one and I'm starting to get a bit paranoid about her teacher!
She has made various comments to us that although they are not too bad in themselves just add to the impression that we have either done something to offend her or that she just doesn't like us.
A couple of examples would be at parents evening actually saying our daughters behaviour was "wierd" ( because she followed the teacher around. Saying that she probably likes talking to adults because she never gets any peace at home and wants to be away and also saying to my daughter " you look a bit better not as scruffy as you used to". All the comments are not too bad alone but together im starting to feel a little paranoid!.

We only started at the school in september and she will abe the same teacher in year 2 as well so it's another 1.5 years if it with her but add in my other children and it's another 6 years solid of having a child in her class because as one leaves another will start!

Aibu or oversensitive to the comments?

she sounds like a cow! i didn't really like my DDs reception teacher if i am honest with myself and i wondered if it was because i felt jealous in some way (not saying this is your situation).. But not really, in fact i remember starting a thread on here because she always insisted that my DD was stubborn, when really she was very shy and didn't like to be addressed directly by adults. I was a bit worried that i was going to resent all of her teachers throughout school. She is in year 1 now and has the most amazing teacher, which i do have a tiny bit of a crush on becuase he HE is so brilliant with the children. I wonder if i would feel the same if it were a woman (without the crush maybe!) or would i feel threatened?

I don't like the "you look less scruffy" comment either. Not sure what advice to give really, only that if your DD is happy at school then its ok, you have to just get on with the teacher. I did warm to my DDs reception teacher by the end of the year. My DD now is super confident and i can only assume school has played a big part in this so she must have been half decent.

On the face of it I'd say you are being over sensitive...but perhaps it's one of those situations where you have to be there to hear the tone of voice and see the body language.

Otherwise, I don't think what she said was that bad...especially if the 'scruffy' comment was said with a wink and a laugh.

I don't think you're BU.

I'd be bloody pissed off and I'm generally rather laid back.

"Weird" is not a word I would want to hear at parents evening. Don't like the less scruffy comment either. At all.

Actually, I think the 'scruffy' comment is rude and unprofessional. A good teacher would only ever say, 'Cora, you are looking very smart these days. Well done!'

And 'weird' is an appalling word to use when describing a 5yr old, especially to the child's parents.

I wouldn't be happy to hear a teacher say either of those things to/about my child, regardless of the child's age.

DD2 is also year 1 but her teacher is lovely, very nurturing and approachable. She is constructive with advice at parents evening if there is something she feels DD can improve on but is very positive about her class and would never say something like "weird".

Have you approached the teacher about her attitude or did you tackle her at the time? I would have tackled her there and then about calling your DD weird and told her that it's not acceptable. She sounds as though she's behaving like one of the children.

id be complaining, your poor daughter dousnt need to hear things like that

yanbu she sounds a bitch.

i can't stand DS's foundation teacher either, she is a snotty bitch who looks down her nose at everyone.

yeah and i agree that comments like "weird" and "scruffy" are totally out of order.

Thanks for the replies, still not sure what I'm going to do. My daughter isn't that happy at the school and we have put her name down for others ( this wasn't even on our list of choices when we moved) but there are waiting lists.
It's parents evening again in a week so I will try and see what's going on then.
I am a little bit baffled about what we could have done to offend her though!

I'm a teacher and I would never use words like "weird" and "scruffy" totally unprofessional and not at all constructive. I would be really cross if I were you, YANBU.

Totally out of order! Who calls a little girl weird and scruffy?
I would speak to the head. I am always sorry that ds1's first teacher was a cowbag to him and I really didn't do enough to stick up for him. I only realised how bad she was when I met his subsequent teachers.

She sounds like a socially challenged teacher. Her language is definitely inappropriate - they can probably send her on a course which addresses this exact behaviour. Can you talk to the head?

I completely know what you mean, its the combination of comments that make it really bad. Mind you the comments you have mentioned aren't particularly good in themselves.

Is she very young? Calling someone weird' is like something my 11 year old would say

I agree she sounds unprofessional. You should raise it with her; she could be damaging your DD's self-esteem with comments like that.