to be pissed off with all sleep advice being about getting them to 'sleep through the night'

[Alpinechildcare]

I don't give a damn when he sleeps, or if it's in long blocks. I just want him to sleep sometimes! Our 4 week old has never slept for more than 8 hrs in 24, which is usually in blocks of 20 or 30 mins. The rest of the time he is feeding. All feeds last for at least an hour but usually longer. The record is 6 hours, and even then he only slept for 40mins before the next one.

I haven't slept for more than 30 mins at a time since he was born. I can't sleep when I do lie down because I know I've only got minutes before he wakes up and my boobs are so sore. On my best day I had naps totaling 3hrs. Day and night are irrelevant I just lie down every time he sleeps.
So when I search for help or information about babies and sleep and I see threads where people are moaning about having to get up more than twice in the night it makes be furious, and jealous that they've even been to sleep at all.
I know I'm being unreasonable because it's all relative but I just wanted to have a moan.

:(
It gets easier. He's only 4 weeks old. There's not much you can do but wait...

At 4 weeks, you will indeed make yourself nuts trying to get him to 'sleep through the night'. He's barely born. I know it's hard and feels relentless, but it will get better.

It's good that you are lying down when he is. Have you considered lying down to feed him? Then you could be resting while he's feeding.

Or can anyone take him even for an hour so you can get some rest? I realize you're breastfeeding, but can you express and get him to take a bottle?

My DD was a bit like this, she did nothing but feed and nap in the early days. I found feeding in bed and co-sleeping saved my sanity, though I know it isn't for everyone. Try to hang on in there, it is hell to start with, but also remember that you are giving your DS the very best start in life, and you are growing an amazing bond with him.

Good luck.

poor you, that sounds awful!

Newborns do feed a lot, but it might be worth going to a breastfeeding clinic (if you have the energy) to get your positioning checked, my dd fed for ages to begin with and I thought that was normal but it turned out that I had her head positioned slightly incorrectly which was slowing down the flow. Once that was sorted there was much more time between feeds and life became a little more bearable.

Also, I really wish I had read the no cry sleep solution by Elizabeth pantley when dd was little. There is a section for newborns. It won't bring instant results but should help develop good sleep habits in the long run. It does mention sleeping through the night in the title but is more about developing good sleep patterns so they sleep as well as possible and eventually sleep through when they're ready.

Hope that helps and good luck! And it does get easier

I know it won't feel like it at the moment, but it will improve soon. We were like this (although I think getting a bit more sleep than you sound to be managing, with my daughter refusing to sleep anywhere other than in our arms, which made it difficult to sleep even if she did!). DD is now 8 weeks old and for the past week and half has been sleeping in her own cot from about 8 pm through to 7 am. She does wake for feeds during the nights - usually 2 to 3 times - but as you say, who cares about "sleeping through" as long as some sleep is possible!
Good luck!

Oh you must be exhausted, moan away, sleep deprivation is awful for us mums but it is not great for the bubs either. All babies are different and it is important to develop sleep patterns early on if you want to have them sleep for longer stretches - it is true what they say - sleep promotes sleep. I know you are exhausted, I can hear it in your message, but I used to walk three times a day (same times) for a total of 4 hours! so that my baby slept her daytime naps in the pram. What a difference three good naps in the day made to her night time demeanor. And we eventually got to the point where I could walk around the block to get her off and then push the pram back in the house and she would stay asleep. I would even open the back door and leave the pram near the back door so I din't have to disrobe her. And if she stirred I gave her a little push. Both of my kids had their daytime naps in the pram until about 6 months. And the fresh air and exercise will lift your mood - I promise. It doesn't last forever but it does take a bit of work. I worked on the daytime sleep first and then night times got better on their own. Just don't assume they will do it on their own, you need to help them. I have a friend who never bothered when or how long her babies slept and she has not had a proper nights sleep in over 4 years! Good luck and keep moaning away - we've been there.

I agree the aspiration to sleep through is irrelevant when they're so tiny, their tummies are so small they can't tank up enough to keep them going for very long and feeds can seem to go on for EVER.

If it is any comfort anyone claiming a rare sleeping through baby at 1 month might find things are very different next month (they change so fast), not that I wish sleep dep on anyone.

My experience with sleep deprivation is you go through exhausted, then a bit crazy where dreams and reality blur and then you sort of acclimatise and so if your babe is still waking frequently in another couple of months I am sure you will be able to function better, and with a bit of luck he'll be sleeping for longer stretches then, as he just gets bigger.

Neither of mine went down for 12 uninterrupted hours before 1 year, possibly 18 months. But the wakings get/got shorter and feeds swifter and it is no more disruptive to my sleep than going to the toilet or getting a glass of water in the night.

Good luck, I do sympathise loads x

Bloody hell, I don't know how you're functioning - that is hard going, even for a newborn. I agree with the others - have you had any breastfeeding advice? The breastfeeding board on here is a good starting point.