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Original poster

To resent MN's whinging about DH's over minor things

32 replies

Redsrule · 27/01/2011 19:58

In the early hours of Sunday 23/1 my husband died suddenly of heart failure. We had been together since uni and had 4 DC. He was loving and usually great but like all people had his moments of being a complete twat. I often think MN's moan too much but just remember life is precious and give your DHs a hug because one day you might feel like me wishing I hadn't wasted Saturday on everybody else but him.

OP posts:
penelopestitsdropped · 27/01/2011 20:00

i am so very sorry for your loss.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 27/01/2011 20:00

i am so so sorry for your loss. that must have been a terrible shock for you. i am not surprised you feel like this. we all take those closest to us for granted at times, it doesn't mean we dont love them and would miss them when they are gone. i hope you have RL support. try not to think about what others do WRT their partners. you have other tyhings to be worryiong about. Smile

Gleekfreak · 27/01/2011 20:01

So sorry to hear that. Will give my DH hug as you suggested-your quite right-we don't often appreciate what we have... Thoughts are with you and yours at this so sad time :(

bubblewrapped · 27/01/2011 20:02

Thats very sad Redsrule. So sorry for your loss, you really must be devastated.

I moan about my husband, he drives me mad, but I would be lost without him as I imagine most of the posters on here would be too.

I feel the same as you when I see posts about In-laws and mums, having lost my beloved FIL, and my very very beloved mum and dad.

No doubt when she was alive I would have moaned about my mother as she drove me daft at times, but I do miss her so much, more and more as time goes on.

I hope you have lots of family around you now who are taking care of you. xx

coatgate · 27/01/2011 20:03

Oh reds - how awful. We all take to much stuff for granted. You are right, we should all show our appreciation more.

Thinking of you and your DCs Sad

TrinityMotherOfRhinos · 27/01/2011 20:03

I am so so sorry for your loss
I can imagine a little what you are going through having been there
Its unutterably disgustingly fucking hideous
Find your inner strength
and peace...sometime in the future xxx

theywillgrowup · 27/01/2011 20:37

must be a terrible time for you and your family,i think we all need a reality check once in a while and your loss will certainly make us appreciate lots of things

so sorry for your loss

mumeeee · 27/01/2011 20:39

Redstar I'm so sory for your loss. You are right we all should spend time with and appreciate our DH's more.

TrinityMotherOfRhinos · 27/01/2011 21:14

and yes you are right we should spend time and appreciate why we got with these men in the first place (after all it was our choice, they cant be that bad)
but yes they can act like twats
Neil spent too much time at work (he agreed and did what he could to stop that in the last ten months of his life)

and yes they can be insensitive/stupid/ arrogant......can't we all occasionally, not on purpose)

noone is perfect

I built a life with someone that made me go phwooooaarr from the moment I saw him, made me feel gorgeous, wonderful, sexy, intelligent etc etc and we had three beautiful, amazing, clever little adorable bundles of life.

I often imagined the older, later and end parts of my life with him and it was good. we could do it all together, life was good and it would be till I died.

but

then he died

I had relaxed in the comfort of my very happy, worked for but just completely right life and a policeman interrupted my nice cold glass of white wine (to relax before he came home very shortly) to tell me that 'can we please go inside, this is serious' and I didn't go inside, I just said WHAT, WHAT IS IT? and then I stopped breathing...I'm very sorry to have to tell you yhat Mr, Neil Murray was involved in a road traffic accident this evening... me:

Onetoomanycornettos · 27/01/2011 21:27

Redsrule, I'm really really sorry to hear about this. You are right, of course, you just get on with everyday life because you don't expect these things to happen, and it's too easy not to be grateful or to notice twattishness and not notice niceness (I find). I'm sorry you've lost your husband, you must be devastated. I hope you have people around you to lean on at this time.

Trinity, your story is very sad indeed, how devastating for you. I'm glad that things are different now than that very dark time, I can only imagine how terrible it was for you.

TrinityMotherOfRhinos · 27/01/2011 21:32

I'm sorry redrules, to hijack your thread.

Original poster
Redsrule · 27/01/2011 21:34

Thank you Trinity, I would agree with you about the police who were incredible and also my 15 year old DD who helped me attempt to give CPR to her beloved daddy whilst being strong for me and her younger siblings.I know in time I will feel the pain less and remember the good times but I do feel if I could go back in time, if only, I would not have made such a big thing about the trivial idiocies he excelled in!

OP posts:
meltedmarsbars · 27/01/2011 21:34

Sorry for your awful time, Redrules.

Very well put, Trinity.

stuffthenonsense · 27/01/2011 21:39

thank you for being brave enough to post here and remind us all about what is truly important.

TheCrackFox · 27/01/2011 21:39

Redrules I am so sorry for your loss. x

You are right, we all need to appreciate our loved ones more.

Edinburghlass · 27/01/2011 21:45

So sad...........hope your 15 year old daughter may get some help to deal with this. It sounds very traumatic.

TickettyBoo · 27/01/2011 21:46

It's so very easy to make big things of the little things and to stop appreciating what we do have.

I hope your friends and family are taking care of you and am so so sorry for your loss x

ScaredOfCows · 28/01/2011 07:15

I am so very, very sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and your family. x

lalalonglegs · 28/01/2011 07:23

Getting back into bed to cuddle husband. I'm so sorry. Thank you for yours and Trinity's posts.

TyraG · 28/01/2011 08:23

Oh Reds and Trinity I'm so sorry for your losses. My heart goes out to both you and your families.

I think you are right, focus too much on the small things that needle us and don't look at the bigger picture.

When my mother was 16 her father died in the middle of the night of a heart attack. Earlier in the evening she had an argument with him and they did not make up before going to bed. She carried that with her until she was 38 before she finally was able to let it go.

DH and I never go to bed angry, you never know what could happen.

Bucharest · 28/01/2011 08:24

So sorry Redsrule.

Trinity, it's nice to see you smiling about Neil Smile

Quenelle · 28/01/2011 10:45

I'm very sorry Redsrule.

Dropdeadfred · 28/01/2011 10:49

So sorry to hear abou your tragic loss Redsrule

Mummy2Noah · 28/01/2011 23:45

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.

clumsymumluckybaby · 29/01/2011 00:39

im so sorry.
im going to hug him now,

and stop moaning about silly things,he is a terrific man.

im so,so sorry.