To wonder what people's weddings were like

[meantosay]

One of the current wedding threads just got me wondering? There's a lot of talk about people having weddings they can't afford etc and was just wondering how many of you had small simple affairs.

I had a small church wedding and buffet lunch at our new house for about 40 people.

we got wed in my back yard,cost about $1500,almost 8 years ago:o.Most on the money was for the tent as we discovered there was a chance of rain (thank god we got it cos it did rain).I cooked and anyone that wanted to brought food,we supplied beer n wine (but ran out early and had to send the only sober adult at the party out for more).Friends, neighbors and friends of neighbors and friends just showed up whenever and stayed as long as they wanted.There was kids everywhere.It was a great day:)

Family and friends at registry office. About 35 there I suppose. Then we all piled over the road to the pub. About 20 of us ate in the restaurant attached to the pub in the evening. We hadn't booked it, so it was lucky they had room for us.

Wore a shift dress from Hobbs with a little pill-box hat. Was going for the Jackie Onassis look: here

Honeymoon was 3 days in Bath.

'twas lovely. Restrained, but lovely.

DH & I are both originally from the N.E so we had a traditional small N.E. wedding ...in the South :) though a registry office service,

I made it my mission to make it the cheapest possible, relaxed, but with the most effort put in

I went a bit manic (probably nesting as was pregnant...catered everything myself, own cake, traditional North East buffet, you know pies, pease pud etc , did own flowers, though friends mucked in with those...& of course made my own dress, bridesmaids & I designed & a friend made DHs suit.....

another friend provided cars.....big American 50s Limos, & another took the photos(press photographer so ended up with some great original shots :) )....did my own hair & make up etc, & the button holes on the morning.....did book into a lovely plush hotel with spa the night before with bridesmaids, their mum, & DH & his best man had a separate suit....

very picturesque marriage venue was in the same town, after the service (which was packed) I threw coins for the Kids to catch(an old N.E tradition) & small party of inlaws, bridesmids, BM etc went back to hotel for dinner afterwards, whilst everyone else was either driven back to here, for a reception at a friends pub...they provided the as a gift champagne too :)....

& other friends surprised us with entertainment :)
& a another 2 friends split the DJing....we were very lucky as all the people who offered their various services as gifts, were professional ......wasn't intended, but of those that hadn't headed for a longer journey home, the rest ended up here....DH ended up collapsing in bed at 2 am, whilst I partied on until 6am

It turned out much better than we could ever of hoped for, for under a £1000 & i is still talked about amongst friends as 1 of the best weddings they've ever been too ....probably because it was so chilled though...& from the photos, you would never of guessed we were such cheap skates

We hadn't asked for gifts, we had 2 house loads of everything, so told people not to worry, but those that didn't chip in with services, all clubbed together & gave us money for our honeymoon....their idea, not ours :)....We traveled around Italy

LilRed, ours cost double that, and we're not stupid either. My parents had the money, were willing to spend it (in fact I had to reel my mum back a lot, she would have spent double what we finally spent if she'd had her way). Of course what you spend has absolutely no bearing on how much fun you have on the day, I've been to some fabulous weddings that have cost barely anything. That said my mum and dad were fortunate to have the money and they wanted to spend it on our wedding. It was a lovely excuse to get my Argentine family over here for the first time in decades.

Church wedding and hotel reception for about 60 people in the days before the wedding industry became such big business and before such things as "fancies" etc had been invetned! Total cost including honeymoon £2200.

head, I see what you're saying and if you're including air fares for family far away, I do see it is different. I didn't include the fares for my PIL, which we paid and which came to around £600, so you are right.

However, I do think that if you have a wedding in the UK, with guests from the UK, it is plain stupid and crass to spend 20k and think it is 'normal'. The wedding magazines would have us believe that 'everyone' spends an average of 20k, and lots of people seem to think it's necessary. When I got married I was told that a wedding 'just does cost that much', and it is complete rubbish.

I've got to admit it was the outrageous cost of another family members wedding a year earlier, that had me so determined to do it as cheaply as possible, it was so outrageous that the Father of the bride had a nervous breakdown after it was all over & done with....

though I was shocked that we had 2 couples boycot it as a result....they HAD gone for the big OTT plush wedding with sit down meal for all guests, & didn't like that we could afford it, but chose not to

Better off without them rockin!

LilRed, that did include some flights for family but not many. To be honest the biggest expense at the wedding was the venue (Berkley Square was never going to be cheap, my mum and I fell in love with it when we went to see the venue) and the food and drink. We had fabulous food and seriously good wine. Lots of it! Plus an open bar in the evening. Oh and the buses were a grand for two of them.

In no way do I think my wedding was the norm... I'm very fortunate to have had a large budget. We didn't bother with wasting any of it on crap like favours, silly cameras on the tables (which no one uses) party poppers (big let down) and silly seat covers and table plans. God wedding magazines sell you some crap. I made all the name cards, table plan, table name signs, menus etc myself. A local printer did the invites for very little.

The band cost lots but were worth every penny, we paid extra to have them play until 2am. We had to pay extra to the venue to go beyond midnight, but was so glad because so mamy weddings I've been to have just got going when the lights go on and everyone has to go home.

I did try on an amazing dress that cost £3,500 and my mum was really pushing me to get it. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever worn, but I was plagued by guilt over spending so much for a dress that would have been worn once. Bought one from Pronuptia for £900. So really all the money we spent was really to make sure everyone had a great time. And I'm pretty certain everyone did.

Oh and that £40k didn't include honeymoon That was a further £10k which we paid for ourselves.

i had almost the same as scurryfunge, 26 people for registry office and meal, 150ish for evening party and food and cake.

Except I spent about 10% of hers, it cost me about IR£600 (PIL paid for lunch)

We had about 50 guests at a licensed venue (lovely French restaurant with great food). I can't dance to save my life so didn't want a disco and we all headed to the local pub for the evening bit - think the whole wedding cost 3000 pounds (12 years ago).

Friends of my grandmother's did the cake and flowers, and I bought the cheapest wedding dress I saw (also happened to be the one I liked the best). Bridesmaids' dresses came from a high street store and they were able to wear them again.

head, I've been thinking and I think I know why I'm so harsh about some expensive weddings (not yours, by the sound).

The thing is, I regularly attend my church. It's the most beautiful church in the city (which is beautiful in itself), but what we really need is congregation members, not people who'll pay for the photo op. It's a great church and people don't give it a chance - some aren't even respectful.

My church charges 350-450 quid for a non-congregation wedding, and they still need money for upkeep of the building - there was a church on that site from the 11th century! - and yet loads of people pay.

My reception had us until 1am, and it was a lovely time - they never asked about midnight or later, they just asked when we thought we'd go. And they still recognize us now and say hi, which I like, personally (each to their own).

What I suppose I so feel is that it iis pretty dishonest to pay several hundred pounds for a 'pretty' church wedding. It seems rude to me, frankly, and some people do do it.

Obviously there are other crass things that people do - DH and I bought 70 quid's worth of flowers and ended up with far more than we needed, and it was OTT - but I find some of the conspicuous consumption upsetting when it's just for show, not for any emotional reason - and often people do care about the show.

we was engaged 3 months after meeting

9 motnhs after getting engaged and having DS1 we booked hte wedding for 6 weeks after decided to actually get married, think it cost about £1500 - most expensive item ws the cake at £350 which MIL bought for us. My dress was a £2500 Alfred Angelo dress on Ebay for £40 which my dad and stepmum bought me, the suits were hired, again MIL paid for them. FIL paid for registry office and for the recpetion. Had a registry office then a small reception for family and close friends and then a party at the night time for more guests who couldnt come to the actually wedding.

Lovely little do. i dont get people who spend thousands and thousands on one day - yes its meant to be the best day of your life but imo the birth of our children were the best days of our lives.

We had a town hall wedding (in Paris, same as registry office) followed by a super long lunch in a beautiful restaurant - there were 36 of us. We only wanted to invite people who were important to us - our criteria for invitations was "Would you call them for help if you got arrested?". Sounds strange but didn't want to share such an intimate day with hundreds of acquaintances....

Am now v curious as to which church/restaurant LRD honoured with her presence :)

We already had DS and decided to get married, we chose 29 Feb so that we would only have to celebrate the anniversary every 4 years! Phoned around some registry offices a couple of months before and went for the first one with an available slot.

On the day we had lovely photos taken in the morning, then had 2 friends as witnesses and our screaming 14 month old DS at the wedding itself! One friend then had DS overnight while we went into London on the tube, had a steak meal, went to a comedy club and then a night in a hotel overlooking the Thames. No presents at all except a lovely bottle of pink champagne and strawberries from a friend.

We loved it, it was for us and I wouldn't go back and change a thing. My dress was blue and £40 from ASOS!

LRD, blimey that's so judgy! We had a £50k wedding. In church. Not that I would have to justify myself to anyone but I am a regular church attendee and have been all my life.

We had such a lovely day. Our biggest expense was the reception for 150 people. We had a champagne reception, then wines and champagne at dinner then an open bar with no limit on what people could have. We were and when we got back from honeymoon and got the bill in the post!

Have loved reading about the weddings on here. All very different but all make me go...awwwww!

LRD - I think our wedding cost about 30K all in. Certainly no debt and credit cards invovlved, I wouldn't have done that.

A rough breakdown would probably be (and this is off the top of my head as it was 3 years ago - also apologies I don't have a pound key):
Venue - 5000
Food and drink - 13K
Photography - 3K
Dress - 1,500
Jewellry and accessories - 600
Humanist minister + costs - 300
Registry office + costs (previous day) - 300
Car - 400
Flowers - 700
Suits - 400
Bridesmaid dresses - 400
Gifts for ushers and bridesmaids - 300
Stationary (invites, menus thank you cards etc) - 450
Lighting and sound system - 400
plus some stuff I've forgotten

So, that may be crass to you, and it would have been crass if we'd TOLD people how much it cost as they walked in, but as far as we were concerned we could afford it, it was a lovely day, 120 people came, everyone had good food, (a lot of) good drink in a beautiful setting, and helped us celebrate our marriage. It was, after the birth of DD, the most amazing day of my life and I don't regret a penny of it.

You don't need to spend that much, I've been to equally fantastic weddings that I suspect cost a fraction of what we paid, and one that definitely cost a lot more. Money doesn't make or break a wedding, it's what you want and what you do with it.

Our wedding was tiny, only our parents, grandparents, and couple who stood for us. City Hall, then a lunch in a restaurant.
And fil picked up the restaurant tab which we were not expecting!

When DH and I first got engaged and I started looking at wedding mags and websites to see what I should be doing, there was a lot of pressure to spend a lot - and I was amazed by just how much angst there was about chair covers and favours and save the date cards and ordering everything months (or years) in advance

DH was pretty much of the attitude of "whatever you want to have is fine, I just want to marry you... but don't make me wear pink." So I could have spent a fortune if I'd felt like it.

But then I thought about how the money could be much better spent - because really, that much money on one day?! Not for me ta.

So instead of splurging on the wedding, we bought a house - cash. Because we both liked the idea of a fresh start together, rather than one of us moving in with the other.

It needed some TLC, but luckily DH flips for a living and I can manage to work a paintbrush.

We then got married at Christmastime at our local church just with immediate family and a few close friends.

Me, mum, nanna and a friend did the buffet and I made our wedding cake.

DH and his friend went shopping for booze and somehow managed to organise a big limo on the cheap. Bouqet and buttonholes were ordered a week before the wedding from our local florist for a very reasonable price.

We got in 4 Christmas trees and an absolute ton of Christmas decorations to make our new home look amazing and invited everyone back to our house for a lovely festive reception... and I suppose it was a housewarming party and a Christmas party too!

Everyone knew everyone else, so they all mingled and munched quite happily.

We'd borrowed a dozen folding chairs from the church free of charge, so everyone had somewhere to perch if they wanted.

No first dance was no great loss to us - DH would gnaw his own foot off to escape if he thought I was going to make him dance

A few people wanted to say a few words or give a toast, so we handed out glasses of bubbly to everyone - the kids had fizzy apple, so they could join in too. I think everyone had a say in the end hehe.

It was lovely - I much preferred it to a formal sit down somewhere grand with too many guests to ever hope to talk to.

I'm sure it wouldn't suit everyone, but we had a very happy wedding day.

Our wedding day was fabulous. In the beautiful medieval church of my childhood. I'm surprised no-one has mentioned the service - we found ours spiritualy moving and very profound and beforehand arranged to swap the order of our vows to: mutual comfort, procreation of children and avoidance of sin rather than the other way round. We felt truly blessed and I have never to this day removed my wedding ring. The music was the other very special part of the day: processing to the Prince of Denmark's March, recessing to Widor's Tocata, and the hymns were: Love Divine, All Things Bright and Beautiful, Immortal Invisible and Praise my Soul the King of Heaven. I'm really surprised that the most important thing on here seems to be the frock and the party rather than the marriage itself - although of course the rest of it was lovely too - typical country wedding with nothing over the top and certainly nothing designer. Just lashings of good food and champagne in a tent.

Couldn't have done the big wedding thing. We wanted to BE married, not GET married, iyswim.

There was me, dh, a friend each for witnesses.

Early morning slot at the Register office, took our own photos then back to in-laws for champagne and nibbles in their garden.

On to fab Chinese restaurant where we ate and ate and ate . Then on to pub where we drank and drank and drank .

Home to our semi-derelict house that we'd just bought and we were living out of one room because it needed so much work done, quick consummation and a sleep then off to the pub again.

Wouldn't change a thing. It was fab and we're still going strong 18 years later.

We had a religious wedding with my mum, gran and 3 friends ad were 13 for the meal at my parents house it was really nice and I has given me lasting memories.

LilRed - I can't believe how rude you are being about some people's choices. I spent over 20k and do not believe myself to be crass or stupid.

I have also been to expensive weddings which were boring and ones where the couple have spent very little and have had an amazing time - and vice versa.

Do what suits you, your personality and your budget. I have loved reading what other people have done on this thread and will not be rude about any of them. (I wouldn't have posted how much we spent had it not been for your comments)

My lovely dad paid for my wedding 16 years ago. It cost a little over £10,000. It was a traditional church wedding and not too over the top. Reception was in the townhall. It was a sit down meal for 100 and a further 50 guests at night. We also had a buffet later on. It was a beautiful day and worth every penny. Dad had saved for my wedding since I was born.

I have been to lots of weddings and some of my favourites are the smaller intimate weddings as they are so right for the couple but for me and DH our wedding was right for us.