I left the ex nearly 2 years ago, after an abusive relationship, and needless to say, took ds with me. The ex's in laws have been great, and travel down to see ds once a year, and have offered to pay for us to visit them in April.
Now, I'm waiting for the tickets to become available before I book them. But the ex, in my eyes, is being VU where his son is concerned.
Both his parents and his brother have spoken directly to me, and said they're looking forward to seeing ds. However, the ex has made no contact since ds's birthday 3 weeks ago (even then, I had to be the one to phone him). He's been told I'm coming down, but his parents have told him that if he wants to see Daz, he has to speak to me. They told him this two weeks ago. As of yet, I haven't had so much as a text message.
He turned down one chance to see ds when he found out I'd started seeing someone, and claimed the news had made him suicidal. Since then, he's constantly blaming a lack of finances for not travelling to see ds although he always seems to have enough to go to football matches, or head out and blow upwards of £50 on drink. Last year, he was seeing a woman, who, after things got serious, offered to drive him down to the town where I live, provided it was ok with me, to see our son. I'd agreed, on the provision they waited until after my college exams were over (this was a matter of 3 weeks, and I wanted a clear head for these exams) Since then, he has made no suggestion of wanting to see ds.
He's phoned 4 times to see how his son is since I started uni (September). I've given up being the one who puts the effort in, as I was phoning him on a weekly basis. I eventually told him if he wanted to know how ds was, he should be the one making the effort to speak to him. When discussions about Christmas came up, and ds's subsequent birthday, his efforts consisted of putting £20 in the bank for each. Not so much as a card on his behalf. He doesn't pay child maintenance, as I'm of the belief that it's no effort on his part.
So, am I being unreasonable if I expect him to be the one to make contact if he wants to see ds when we visit? He knows we're coming. I'm just tired of trying to get him to care about ds.