to be upset with my inlaws lack of visiting when we need support

[itsnicetobeniceto]

My husband has been sick for a number of years now. During this time I have taken him to see relatives as they never visited. Now i am sick myself and so unable to drive the hour or so to his relatives. But still no one bothers to visit. Months go by and nothing apart from when are you coming down text messages. They know I am sick. What more can I do to make them realise we won't be coming to see them ? Or AIBU to even think they should visit considering we always went to them

Have you actually invited them? Some people think it is impolite to invite themselves.

Do they actually realise how ill you both are?

yes we invite them all the time.

But surely they don't need and invite to visit a sick person - who they know is housebound and sees no one apart from me on a day to day basis. I shouldn't have to plead with people to visit when we ourselves have done this automatically for years.

:( I agree it's sad if they don't visit you. Do they decline or just not get round to replying? Do you leave an open invitation or have you tried asking very specific questions like "what dates would be good for you?" or "is there anything particular that is holding you back from visiting us?" Is there any chance they feel it would be burdensome for you to have them to stay, if you're both ill?

Some reply they will come up but never do. We had visitors over Christmas and I know it'll be a long time for more. Its just the usual when are you coming to see us? It's all gone one way. And i think its about time this changed. They all know we don't mind visitors as i say we had some over Christmas. But generally during the year we get one or two visits whereas we would have been seeing people at least once a month.
Its not like we couldn't be bothered to visit.