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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to leave 6 month old in bedroom at wedding

48 replies

pleasethanks · 26/01/2011 09:00

We are going to a wedding when my DD will be 6 months old. We will be staying in the hotel. it has been suggested to me by PIL that when I put her to bed (7pm) I just use a baby monitor and come back to the wedding. It is quite a large hotel and I don't know that many of the guests and don't really feel comfortable doing it. But what is the other option - sitting in a dark room with her from 7pm?

OP posts:

GORGEOUSX · 26/01/2011 09:59

pleasethanks I would DEFINITELY NOT leave your precious baby in a hotel room. I'm thinking Madeleine McCann amongst many, many other scenarios.

A baby monitor is not a substitute for a parent; it's ok if you're at home in the kitchen and your baby is in another room, but absolutely, never, never, never should you leave a baby unattended like that IMHO.

I would say take it turns with your DP to stay with baby in the hotel room; enjoy yourselves but don't drink alcohol.

Yes, I know I sound like an old bag, but I make no apologies for that - your baby must come first.

GORGEOUSX · 26/01/2011 10:02

Also agree with PP who suggested keeping baby with you at the wedding - I'm sure he/she will sleep soundly.

LoopyLoopsHasComeBackBrighter · 26/01/2011 10:03

Sling, definitely sling.

FindingStuffToChuckOut · 26/01/2011 10:05

We've left DD sleeping in buggy in tucked away but visible corner of a wedding. She slept very well :)

Pterosaur · 26/01/2011 10:08

Be prepared to stay with her in shifts, but bear it in mind that in a couple of months time she might have changed a bit anyway and might be happy to party with you for a few hours.

Play it by ear, but don't do anything you don't feel comfortable with.

crapbarry · 26/01/2011 10:08

we had this problem at our own wedding when DS was 10 months - we managed to keep him up a bit later than normal, and he eventually conked out in his pushchair, which we took it in turns to rock back and forth in the corner of the room! Eventually my mum took him upstairs and sat with him until I was ready for bed, but he woke up and ended up back down at the party with us until midnight. I wouldn't leave him on his own in a hotel room.

PatTheHammer · 26/01/2011 10:09

We went to a wedding when DD was 12mo and did the taking turns thing. She made it up till 9.30pm though which I don't think sounds like an option for you.
My point was that at 10pm my lovely grandma said that she had had enough of the music and would go and sit with DD for an hour or so, this meant that DH had some time together etc and then he went up at 11.30 as he said it was my friends and family and I should enjoy it.

Do you have a older relative or somebody that you could trust to sit with her for an hour?
I absolutely agree that you are right about not leaving her with the monitor, ours was only a small hotel and eveybody there was a wedding guest but there was still no way I was going to do it.

PatTheHammer · 26/01/2011 10:11

Sorry, just realised that its not a family wedding!

We tried and failed to get DD to sleep in a buggy but it just didn't happen. Worth a try though like everyone says!

mum295 · 26/01/2011 10:16

Agree with suggestions others have made to keep DD with you and try to get her to sleep in sling/pram. One night won't hurt.

We took DD to a music festival and one night she conked out in her pram, even with all the music playing (wearing ear defenders). The second night she stayed awake but had a wonderful time.

Even though you don't know the other guests, I'm sure there will be many willing hands wanting a cuddle if she doesn't sleep!

Zoonose · 26/01/2011 10:16

Another vote for doing babysitting shifts with dh. We did this for my sister's wedding. I wouldn't leave her alone with monitor or with someone I didn't know.

TattyDevine · 26/01/2011 10:19

I have attended weddings with very young children and the solution for us has been to hire a babysitter. We subscribe to sitters.co.uk who are national and therefore can send someone even if you are not in your usual home town.

We dont get to go to many weddings, as most our friends are married these days - its re-marriages these days of those who got divorced a few years ago!

There will no doubt be a pweshus moments mama come and slate me for leaving my children with a CRB checked childcare professional for 3 hours while they are asleep but there you go - you need to do what you personally are comfortable with.

QuickLookBusy · 26/01/2011 11:09

I would not leave her in hotel bedroom with a moniter or babysitter.

Because it's a very different situation, lots of noise, lots of attention from friends/family/other children etc, I would be inclind to try to keep her up as long as she will last. I'm sure she won't be grumpy because of all the attention. If she does then just take it in turns with DH to be with her.

Just go with the flow and enjoy the occasion, and do what you and DH are happy with.

clevercloggs · 26/01/2011 11:13

I'd sit with the baby in the room when it goes to bed and take a laptop with me and a nice glass of wine

theresapotatoundermysink · 26/01/2011 11:18

I haven't read through the thread so I may be repeating somebody, but does the hotel offer a babysitting service?

Ladyofthehousespeaking · 26/01/2011 11:19

I would do the shifts too- it just really doesn't seem right to me, my friend did this- left her baby in her flat whilst she visited her friend downstairs - the fire alarm went off in another flat and I've never seen someone so scared. Not worth it IMO

Ohforfoxsake · 26/01/2011 13:28

I agree with Clevercloggs - depending on whose wedding it is - but it could be lovely turning on at 9, nice bath, bit of room service... Mmmmmmm ;-)

Edinburghlass · 26/01/2011 14:30

I'd be uneasy leaving a young child in a bedroom on their own, although I know people who do it. Probably fairest to take it in turns to watch her. Other people might volunteer to help, if you're lucky.

systemsaddict · 26/01/2011 14:36

I would bring a pram, allow various trustworthy relatives desperate to show off their child-soothing skills to push her around in it for as long as you fancy being there, then if she hasn't settled use it as an excuse to get up to your room. But I've also used sitters.co.uk before and second the recommendation.

iskra · 26/01/2011 14:51

Hmm, we've left DD in the hotel bedroom at weddings, using combinations of baby monitors & babysitters.

Underachieving · 26/01/2011 16:29

YANBU

If you went round to the neighbours and had a cup of tea with the baby monitor switched on then that would be a little iffy but a hotel has the disadvantages of being a large building, a building which is open to the general public and the key to the door you shut baby behind has been handed to many people before you.

togarama · 26/01/2011 16:41

YANBU. I would never leave a baby alone in a hotel room.

ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 26/01/2011 16:59

This thread gets done again and again because time upon time parents are put in this position... it usually ends up being about 60/40 against. However, there are so many variables and always lots of suggestions (hire a babysitter/buggy/sling/grandparents/friend/teenager attending the wedding) etc

I don't think there's likely to be a fire, it's not at all comparable to the McCanns situation and I don't believe aliens will pop by for an abduction either... however, I just couldn't do it... it's not a 'rational thinking process' that gets me to this place, simply a gut feeling, I just couldn't.

I would just keep her up until she falls asleep on someone then put her in her buggy in the corner (I know you say she wont sleep like that, but she might in this environment and she'll be a totally different baby in 2 months anyway). If she gets too upset before then, I'd take her to our room and do shifts with DH and any other willing mug friend/relative.

BUT I also wouldn't 'judge' you for doing it if you could.

LoopyLoopsHasComeBackBrighter · 26/01/2011 18:06

Eminently sensible, ChippingIn, as always. :)

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