That homework diaries are a bit Big Brother?

[carocaro]

DS primary school seem obsessed about having comments from parents about reading, what they read, when they read, how they read etc etc. And I get it, they want us to read at home and we do, but what I don't like is feeling like I have to write something snippy and gleefull every week or day.

Teachers are public servants and provide a service for which they are paid and are therefore accountable. As a parent I am not accountable to the school and I refuse to prove myself as a parent helping my child to read with notes in the homework diary.

As if you don't write anything you don't care. I speak regularly to his teacher and do write in his diary and he reads stuff from school books to text on TV to magazines. Do I have to tell them that every second? Are they going to use it against you?

Son 1's class has monitors that look through all homework diaries for proof of reading the night before.

No proof-you miss your playtime

We forge most of the time

I don't fill in the diaries regularly.

Every now and then I write a note in the diary about DD's and DS's progress. I say we read together every day and mention any worries I might have, if any. They seem satisfied.

I think the school just want to know we are involved in their reading. As long as the children are making good progress that should be ok.

good luck and don't take it too personally.

I think it is a shame if you find it too difficult to write two or three words, it means that whoever reads next with your child can carry on from where they left off. It means that if there is a problem you can highlight it. It means that there will be progression.

However this is only the opinion of an underworked, overpaid, lazy civil servant.

Well, we didn't read the school reading book every night, so we didn't write a comment. We read every night though.

I write "pg 11 next, read at home" and sign it. If dd has struggled with a particular word I will highlight it and if she has particularly enjoyed it I will highlight that too.

If she reads alone (she's year 3) she will fill out her reading record herself with the next page and that she's read it on her own.

When the teacher/TA hears her read there is always a comment for me to look at - if she's had trouble, if she's been particularly expressive or if she's found it too easy and is moving on a level.

Doesn't take anyone very long and I personally really enjoy the two way communication it gives me with the school.

we dont get asked to comment but I do from time to time..

eg seemed to have memorised this book before it came home
or worked hard to get writing neat etc...

might be nice if the teacher bothered to bloody comment eg well done writing is good or I know he knows this book in response

its a 2 way bloody street. I know teachers are busy but jeez if it makes me feel this way how does it make the kids feel

My DS has a comment in his reading book when he's read, and sometimes the teacher/TA will write one meant for me.

I will write a comment per book - so 1 comment for a book that takes 3 days to read. 'read well, tried really hard' etc.

Can be quite an eye opener. Today new books came home with a comment. 'DS has chosen 2 very challenging books, if he needs easier ones let me know'. He picked one up and read it no probs. Makes me wonder how much effort he puts in at school.

agree with stoat, how can anyone get so wound up about writing a few words a night - we've 4 kids, and both work full time, I quite often sign the youngest's in the car as i drop off at before school club but it really isn't that hard. Seems a bit arsey to be so superior about it.

Loshad. Stoat is getting paid to write the comments! Parents are not!

In my luch hour, along with a club I'm running voluntarily. Don't think that's on my job description.

Don't even know why I'm rising to this one.

Parents choose to have children, and with children comes responsibility - one responsibility may be seen as writing 2-3 words in a reading diary every night.

I despair.

Giving children the best possible chance of doing well in school involves effort, cooperation and communication between all parties.

I think it's really sad that you see your child's teacher as an 'accountable, paid public servant' rather than a person doing their best (I hope) to further your child's education.

I wasn't doing school work until eight o'clock this evening because I get paid for it, but because I care about, and am willing to put myself out for, the children I teach - and they're not even mine. Surely it's possible to spare just a few moments when it's your own child?

If he/she is anything like me, your child's teacher does not want to check up on you, they want to know as much as possible about your child and how they are getting on with their reading. It's not all about you, it's about wanting the best for him. Isn't this what you want too?

I think that they are a useful tool of communication. Education is a partnership between home and school and both sides need to co operate if it is going to be effective.
I wouldn't want to say that a teacher is a public servant and I am just handing my DC over and delegating everything. You don't have to write War and Peace, just write read to p25!

I think it would help if "we" (parents) knew what we were expected to write.

I think teachers can sometimes expect that parents know what to do, when, in fact, they are a bit clueless. Hence my boy having the same book for weeks because his mother couldn't fathom the system.

Now, if anyone is a parent of secondary children, can I just put in a plea for signing the homework diary once a week to say that you've seen it?

I wrote in my dd2's home school diary that she didn't understand her homework. I got a phone call the very same day from the deputy head and was told not to write in her home school diary again it wasn't the done thing to actually write in it. I did question that point but was told it was going to be talked about at the next meeting and they would let the parents know if we were to be allowed to write in the home/school diary but until then only the teacher was to write in it....do you know how much I wanted to write all over that home/school diary

It doesn't bother me tbh. Although I was slightly at the capitalised 'PARENT PLEASE COMMENT ON HOME READING' when the first time in two years I forgot to write in the bloody thing.

The point some of you are missing is that I never said it is hard to write in the diary, of course it's not BUT to write every night just to go through the motions IS pointless. It's just box ticking for the sake of it without any real meaning if it is done that way, which is no use to anyone, parent, teacher or child.

It is also the presumption by some that if you if you don't write it in the homework diary you are not reading at home and therefore ruining your children's education. I write in it when there us something uselfull/essential to say, not to teacher-please and bow down to what I think I should be doing like everyone else.

Although I am thinking of getting an ink rubber stamp made for one of the TA's who I think is very lazy, as all she has ever written since September is 'Good Reading' which is neither use nor ornamnent when tracking his progress. Whereas the other TA is very specific and detailed in short sentences.

And yes they are accountable public servants with a duty to do their best as a teacher they are both the same thing!

I know exactly where my son is with his reading from usefull comments both both me and his teacher and from talking to her.

Teachers get a bad press because of all the martar/I dispair type comments because parents don't do exactly what they want everytime, therefore thinking that gives them the automatic right to project on to parents.

Because I only wrote once in DS's diary this week does not make me a bad uninvolved parent. And missing playtime if Mummy has not written in the Diary, like a Nazu regime!

And wow working till 8pm because you care, do you want a medal? Willing to ;put yourself out' it's your job for goodness sake.

Do you assume this automatically makes you a good teacher? Most other people do this in their jobs, DH was working till 11pm last night going the extra mile, it's normal, get over it.

"Parents choose to have children, and with children comes responsibility - one responsibility may be seen as writing 2-3 words in a reading diary every night."

Perfectly put

The public servant comment did come across as a bit 'don't you know I pay your wages'

It is the work of a moment to write 'Biff and Chip pg 10"
each night, and something I don't begrudge for my primary school child.

But when I received a letter from my 15 yr old DS's school telling me that DS was in detention as he 'clearly hasn't been showing you his homework planner' I was a bit . We are meant to sign the thing every week. I had missed two weeks. It wasn't that he hadn't done the homework, it was that I hadn't signed it.

So my advice is, get into the habit now, coz you're going to have to be doing it for an awfully long time!

Carocaro - are you for real? Seriously, if you can't be bothered to do this it is a bit sad and not a great example for your DC. Far better to be in a school that wants the comments than doesn't. And yes, as a teacher I do judge the parents by what they put in the diary, the diaries that don't get signed for weeks on end often (but not always) belong to the disorganised children (I'm a yr 7 tutor) with parents who are less involved in their children's education.

Because the book isn't signed does not mean that the child hasn't done any reading. My DSs school is not interested in the slightest if he has done any reading out side of the 'set' book. He MUST read for 20mins every single night and I MUST sign his book to prove he has done it.
I'm sorry but I don't have time to listen to him everynight and neither does he, in between making sure he has quality time with both his parents, eating a well balanced meal, playing and getting his 'required' level of exercise each day and then going to bed at an appropriate time so he's alert at school means theres not many minutes left to comply with the rules.
I do multi task the above plus extras but when you have 3 kids requiring your attention for varying things then something has to give. It tends to be the 'set' book.
It doesn't make me a bad mum, neither does it make me disorganised, I'm a mum that is trying to do the very best she can in sometimes stressful/difficult situations mainly on her own and sometimes I fail.
If I don't sign the book, cut me a bit of slack, I might have a very good reason for not doing so.

How lazy and uninterested in their child does a parent have to be to refuse to make the teeny effort required to write in a homework book? OK, you may be too busy/ disorganised/ exhausted sometimes to manage it but to refuse on a point of principle? Astounding!

Is there something offensice about being a public servant? I don't really think there is

My DS had a diary when he was at school. (All boys private).

I loved it. All I had to do was sign it. DS would write any homework etc. he had to do. (He even wrote his chores such as walking the dog, feeding the dog, football training, etc.)

The teachers' wrote comments if they wanted to convey any messages to parents. (This eliminated any "Lost notes" not getting home)

If I ever had to make any comments, I just wrote them in the diary.

It is interesting to sometimes go back over the diaries from age 8 to 18 to see how my DS's thoughts changed from year to year.

It reflects what was going on in his life at that particular time. For instance when he ws 14, his cousin died and he wrote in his diary how sad he was. (His form teacher wrote a sympathy note in his diary)

These diaries gave the teachers an insight to the childens' life outside of school.

I do sign my dd's (yr 6) reading record but I am not sure it is doing her any good. I feel that having a school imposed reading regime actually makes her less likely to enjoy reading and therefore she does less of it than she might do other wise. If I remember back to my own childhood, reading was such a wonderful, personal, intimate thing to do which can take you away to another place. These days it all has to be recorded and there appears to be an element of competition about it all.

Imagine if we had to report the frequency and quality of our sex lives. I'm not sure that I would get any better at it!