manners

[firstforthought]

AIBU to think that manners start at home? My friend allows her children to ask for things without saying "please" and insists they are polite out of the home (I am not sure about that). My DH is not British and I have heard his family all ask each other for things without saying "please" and when I asked him he said there is no need in the home with your own family as long as you do not ask rudely and that you use manners outside. (I know they are all polite outside the home).
I insist my DD use please and thank you even to me.... AIBU?

No. You are not.

Manners start at home. I insist on please, thank you and good table manners. I also correct tone of voice and pointing at people (which I personally find very rude).
It then becomes second nature and children do it without thinking about it.

God I am turning into my grandmother

YANBU.

There are ways to be polite without using the word "please".

Absolutely they start at home. My 19 month old doesn't talk yet, but I still use please and thank you with him and my husband and I always use it with each other.

Of course they start at home. Why would you be polite to strangers and not to the people you love?

It is just second nature if you start early leading by example.

YADNBU Why should I have less respect than a stranger? Manners are a form of respect and this begins at home.

Agree with Lamorna: do not see why the people you are closest to should be the ones you are least polite to. Same applies to smart clothes and turning up tidy and on time to meals: family is as important (or more important) than others, so should turn up tidy and smart to family meals too...

YANBU

Please and thankyou are a big deal to me - and I always remind visiting children. I do know people who will give their children things without them having asked politely, or barged in, and then those children do that in my house (mind you, I am pretty sure my DCs forget sometimes ....)

i sort of agree. we all say please and thank you in teh home aswell as out but i think, attitude is far more important as an indicator of respect in the home. for example, my EXP never used please and thank you and would just say things like "bring up my coat" if he was upstairs and wanted it. i would usually say "manners cost nothing" and he would just throw out "please". he didn't mean it and he had no more respect for me when he said it than when he didn't. i would have rather known he had the respect in the first place rather than him throwing out a begrudged "please".

YANBU I HATE bad menners, its my absolute number one hatred!! DS 2 1/2 is exceptionally good mannered and always says please and thankyou and asks to leave the table etc etc. How can I expect him to turn it on and off again?! Although he does have a tendency to use it to his advantage by saying 'pwease' with head tipped slightly sideways and beautiful grin on his face whilst asking for something I have previously said no to!!