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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What makes you happy?

10 replies

MyBrainIsOutOfTune · 25/01/2011 11:57

I was reading an interview the other day with a woman who had written a book on how to be happy. The article had a box on the side with amusing facts about happiness. The thing that caught my eye was a short list of three points which supposedly were the things that women thought would make them happy.

I don't know where they've got this from - maybe it's from some survey or other, or maybe they pulled it out of their hat. I think there's a difference between what actually makes you happy, and what you think will make you happy when you haven't got it yet, which is what this list is. Again, supposedly.

I just can't let it go. Am I being unreasonable in thinking that if this list is correct, it is at best a sad sign for women?

Here goes:

No. 3: To get the career of their dreams.

This is both encouraging and depressing. It's great that people want careers and have ambitions, on the other hand, many people are not 'career' people, many people just hope for a job they can live with to pay their bills. And do not let work define them.

No. 2: To get the man of their dreams.

I sincerely hope all this 'of their dreams' is journalese. It sounds as if we're all sitting around waiting for a romantic comedy to happen.

No. 1: To be slim.

What? Seriously, what? The thing that women think will make them happiest, is to be slim? Crikes. As DH said, 'I feel sorry for women if that is true.' And the scary part is that I sort of recognise it. When I was fat, everything got coloured by it. I couldn't enjoy anything. Now that I'm just slightly overweight it doesn't pray on my mind in the same way. I still wouldn't think being slim would actively make me happy, though. Or would it? The slim ones out there, do you twirl around in front of mirrors all day, thinking 'god, I'm glad to be slim'? [bgrin]

What do you think? Is this what you dream of? Tell me what makes you happy, or if you're not happy, what would.

It's actually quite difficult. I don't feel that my life is particularly lacking in some way, but it is hard to pin down the things that make it tick. I guess these would be a start:

  • Family and friends (man of my dreams included [bgrin])

  • Time to do my own things

  • As depressing as this is, economic security. Poverty makes me a bad person[bsad] I absolutely love being able to go and buy food without standing there thinking 'should I really buy this' over every item. In the same vein, I think I would be a bad person again if I was rich, so it's security I'm thinking of, not extreme wealth.

God, this is long.

OP posts:
MyBrainIsOutOfTune · 25/01/2011 11:58

prey Blush

OP posts:
Punkatheart · 25/01/2011 12:03

You sound rich to me - rich in thought and common sense.

I love my family, my friends, my animals, my writing. If all those are fine - I am happy. Increasingly, it is the simple things that make me smile. Not keen on shopping and getting more things.

Good topic.

I think humour is great too - it really keeps us all going. Art, literature - all the things that document the human experience.

Actually, we are all rich - as long as we realise that....

BettyCash · 25/01/2011 12:08

Good topic but maybe wrong forum?

KalokiMallow · 25/01/2011 12:18

I imagine the list is actually right. Those are things that a lot of people think will make them happy. :(

MyBrainIsOutOfTune · 25/01/2011 12:19

Yes, I wasn't sure which forum would be best to post this on. But still, I do wonder if it is just me who is bothered by the original list. So I guess I do want to know if I am unreasonable...

OP posts:
MyBrainIsOutOfTune · 25/01/2011 12:19

^ that was to BettyCash

OP posts:
yama · 25/01/2011 12:26

Everything that makes you happy also makes you unhappy. This is because you fear that you will one day lose that which makes you happy.

waitwhat · 25/01/2011 12:26

No. 1: To be slim.

Thats depressing!

I thought being secure financially would be in there. I've been cant eat for days, no electricity for weeks,no roof over my head poor when i was an early teen.
Having enough cash to feed and dress your kids and to be in a house with power and water is a big deal to me.

KalokiMallow · 25/01/2011 13:02

"I thought being secure financially would be in there. I've been cant eat for days, no electricity for weeks,no roof over my head poor when i was an early teen.
Having enough cash to feed and dress your kids and to be in a house with power and water is a big deal to me."

Most people haven't been in that situation though, so I imagine it wouldn't even cross their mind.

You also have to remember how much media pressure there is to be slim. We are told repeatedly that being thin will magically improve our lives

redrollers · 25/01/2011 13:31

atm the only thing that makes me happy is cuddling my DS
I would be happier if I had a good DH
I would probably be happier if I was slimmer, but I am quite fat.
I would probably be happier if I didn't have to worry about money

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