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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that if your child

69 replies

TyraG · 24/01/2011 17:27

is 3, 4 or 5 they don't need to be sucking on a pacifier?

I can't believe the number of kids I have seen in that age range that have pacifiers. It's absolutely ridiculous.

I took DS to school this morning (Reception - he's 4) and while he was going into his classroom a boy about his age passed us (in a school uniform) with a pacifier in his mouth. I was dumbfounded.

Is this common here?

OP posts:

AmazingBouncingFerret · 24/01/2011 18:04

Got rid of DS's when he was 3. Can I have half a medal?

ENormaSnob · 24/01/2011 18:11

Does anyone actually give a fuck what other peoples kids do?

twirlymum · 24/01/2011 18:12

Where I used to work, it was commonplace to have them hanging round the child's neck on a thick gold chain.
Classy
I used to refuse to talk to them (they were 4-5) unless they took them out of their mouths. They would be cracking ventriloquists though!

HecateQueenOfWitches · 24/01/2011 19:19

I'm sure they don't need to.

But who cares? It's not your child and it's not your problem if they're sucking a dummy till they're 45.

I think, possibly, you need to have a 'Not My Problem' attitude about things other people do that are of no importance.

I find it makes my life so much easier - I recommend it to you

LaurieFairyonthetreeEatsCake · 24/01/2011 19:24

Chipping- just a wee bit different public giblet playing compared to sucking on a dummy surely. [Bgrin]

LaurieFairyonthetreeEatsCake · 24/01/2011 19:25

I mean you don't want public giblet plAying at any time really, not just at 3, 4, 5.

Apart from on the tube or is that just my experience?

CrapBag · 24/01/2011 19:27

YANBU.

My half sister had one until she was 5 as she was a nightmare to wean off it and her mother didn't really try that hard.

dexifehatz · 24/01/2011 21:33

Three kids and NO DUMMIES!!! Fuck a Medal can I have The Holy Grail please?!!!

thefirstMrsDeVere · 24/01/2011 21:42

I have been trying my bloody hardest to get DC5 to take a dummy and the little bugger wont have any of it!

The longest any of mine have had theirs is DC4 who had his till he was nearly 3. He was very attached to his blankies as well (my only one who had a blankie). I think some children need them more than others.

I have a sort of schedule with them. Once they are up to a certain age I start giving them only at nap and bed time, then only at bed time and then we get the dummy pirate to collect them and feed them to the sharks. He replaces them with some sort of improving toy like a puzzle.

I dont allow them in the mouth all the time though. But some of my DCs have been really sucky and loved their dummies.

Not one has still had one at secondary school, nor did any of them still wear nappies or go to bed with a bottle.

clevercloggs · 24/01/2011 21:48

its horrible also to see newborns with a massive dummy stuck in its gob

they really dont need them

PonceyMcPonce · 24/01/2011 21:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tinierclanger · 24/01/2011 21:53

It's the same as thumb-sucking isn't it? Are you equally dumbfounded when you see a small child sucking their thumb?

onepieceoflollipop · 24/01/2011 21:55

I was full of judginess and good advice when dd1 (now 7) was born. Incidentally she didn't need/want a dummy, slept "through" at a very young age, and was generally wonderful.

I wasn't quite so clever/smug/judgey after dd2 was born. She needed a dummy (or 24 hour boob constantly) and didn't sleep through for months and months and months.

Thankfully by that stage I had joined mnet and realised that we were Very Lucky Indeed with dd1, it wasn't our wonderful and superior parenting at all. dd2 was perfectly fine and so were we (apart from we were knackered)

dd2 still has a dummy, I'm not telling you how old she is as it is none of your damn business (but I will say she is in your 3, 4 or 5 category)

onepieceoflollipop · 24/01/2011 21:56

oh and as nickschick said, "snout out" - love that response btw.

GreenEyesandHam · 24/01/2011 21:56

I think newborns look ADORABLE with dummies in, my first two wouldn't take them gah

My third had one until he was two, I got fed up with feeling around under his bed in darkness in the middle of the night, so braced myself and got rid.

Little sod barely blinked

CarGirl · 24/01/2011 21:56

dd only has her dummy at bedtime and only has done since the age of 2. If you take the dummy away she sucks her thumb instead

We only gave her a dummy to stop her sucking her fingers!

If you have any ideas to persuade her to stop feel free to let me know.

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 24/01/2011 21:56

another 3 kids no dummies - another one for the Holy Grail here as well

FabbyChic · 24/01/2011 21:56

I do believe that like weaning a baby off of a bottle onto a cup, they should be weaned off a dummy.

Also why do some mothers push children of four around in a buggy? And they have dummies? Will they never be allowed to grow up?

I have always thought that before a child goes to a Reception class at 4 they should be dummyless and out of a buggy and walking, it is what they have legs for.

NimpyWindowmash · 24/01/2011 21:58

My 10 year old still sucks her thumb. I wish I'd encouraged her to have a dummy, which at least can be removed by the dummy fairy at some stage.

onepieceoflollipop · 24/01/2011 21:58

CarGirl we have the opposite scenario. When we talk to dd2 about giving it up (night times only) she agrees in a very cooperative manner. Only thing is we then find her (day and night time) with substitutes that she has found herself. She isn't fussy, a bit of coat sleeve will do, or the foot of a rather grubby fifi doll.

A sensible friend said that perhaps as she only has it for a few minutes at night, best to let her keep on for now rather than setting her up with another prop.

DuelingFanjo · 24/01/2011 22:00

My baby was given one while in the neo natal unit, seemed pretty standard :( thankfully he didn't seem to like it.

onepieceoflollipop · 24/01/2011 22:00

FabbyChic how on earth do you know the circumstances of every reception child you see in a buggy/with a dummy?

My friend regularly pushes her Reception age child in a buggy. He does not have a disability but he has had several lots of surgery which unless you were a friend of the family you would have no idea about.

I expect that people sneer and judge her for pushing him in a buggy. I just see a tired child who is sometimes in pain and has been through a lot with his tired mother doing her best.

I'm sure other children have similar issues.

CarGirl · 24/01/2011 22:01

I reckon we may going to the orthodontic thumb guard route for all 3 of them!

My eldest gave her dummy up willing trading it for a scooter at 4, next 2 are addicted to their thumbs and the youngest - well anything if she's desperate

Toastiewoastie · 24/01/2011 22:02

I get a mum medal too, DS never used a dummy. I tried giving him one half heartedly when he was newborn, and he just looked at me scornfully like he was saying "that's not tittie" then spat it out.

I was shocked with I saw mums actually holding them into their DCs mouths, forcing them to take them, knowing that a couple of years doen the line they'll only have to go through the whole weaning thing. What is the point of that?

So YABU to be judgy, but you are not BU to think it's silly and disgusting. Each to their own...

onepieceoflollipop · 24/01/2011 22:02

CarGirl I asked dd1's advice on "weaning" her little sister off the dummy. "don't worry mummy" she said helpfully. "I can just teach her to suck her fingers like I do instead"

great

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