Social quandary! AIBU to be late for this party?

[knickerelasticjones]

Really don't know what to do here.....

In brief, MIL has 80th birthday party in march and we are all going. It's a weekend party about three hours away by train and we planned to stay fri eve to sun avo (so we can get back for DDs school on mon morning).

BUT I have just discovered that the party is the weekend before some dance exams that DD is supposed to be doing - and the dance school says if she misses the class, which is on sat morning,the week before the exams then she cannot do the exams. Now I personally couldn't give a monkeys about the exams but if DD doesn't take them she will not be able to move up to next class. But her three best friends who are also in the class will move up. So DD (who is nearly 6) will not be happy.

I was thinking that i might take her to the class on sat morning then get train and join the party early afternoon, but I really don't want to upset MIL who might not be very impressed by the idea. FWIW there will be around 12 people at the party including
Lots of grandkids.

AIBU to think of doing this. MIL is really lovely so I don't want to upset her birthday!

What time is the actual party, and how late would you be?

If you'd only be a little bit late I think most grandmothers would want their grandchildren to not miss an important dance class.

I think the ballet school are unreasonable - what if she was ill? One class as well - at dd's ballet school they don't mind if you miss a class or 2 prior to exams but neither to have to take the exams if you want up move up.

Well the party officially starts on Friday evening and lasts all weekend.

I will talk to her, but I know she has been a bit peeved in the past if people don't show for gatherings. She likes the whole family to turn up for the whole thing.

Wanted to get some idea of whether or not I was being unreasonable before I broach the subject....

I agree that the dance school are being unreasonable!

We only went there as DDs chums go there. I mean they're only 6, what does it matter! But a rule is a rule I guess

If the party is all weekend, then if you are there for some of it surely that should be enoguh. Obviously this is something important to you DD and that should be taken into account too.

I would say its fine to arrive on the Saturday, if you explained the reasons to your MIL.

She must have some good stamina for an 80yr old to do a whole weekender of a party too!! lol!!!

Why not ask the dance school? There might be a midweek class she could do?