That my daughter seems different to her peers

[Greenapples1]

My daughter is 13 and seems really quite different to the other girls in her class. They all seem obsessed by friends, boyfriends, texting, fashion, piercings etc. She's not a prude and likes nice clothes trendy haircut etc but just doesn't seem to fit in that well. I don't think she's that confident. Should I be worried or will she just get there in her own time? She's more of an outdoor type, quite sporty works hard. She heard someone call her a nerd. She'd be quite happy with playing 'it' or group playground games but she'd be laughed out of town for suggesting it. The other girls seem to be a lot more grown up than her.

She sounds very normal. There are more girls like her than you realise, they're just not as visible as the others.
Both mine were like that and happy to be so.
Oldest had first bf at 18 years. Youngest has yet to have a bf. both are popular hardworking sporty outdoors types. Not mainstream but respected.
Your daughter will be fine.

I think that she sounds lovely and will be fine.
It would be worrying if she felt that she had to change in order to fit in. I think that there are lots of DCs like her and they are a lot more interesting.
If you feel that she isn't happy you could encourage more of the outside school interests in the way of sports or outdoorsy type things to meet like minded people.She sounds as if she would be great for Duke of Edinburgh award scheme later on.
I think that she will come into her own later when she needs a personal statement and CV and the others will wake up to the fact that they need something beyond fashion, boyfriends etc.

These have been such lovely messages to read. Thanks so much. It really reassures me especially thinking that the 'cool' crowd often peak too soon and our girls will hopefully mature at a much more steady level and bloom as they get older. I love mumsnet its like having the biggest most supportive group of friends. Why can't real life be like this lol!!!!

My daughter has no interest in make up, boys etc. She is very bright, enjoys scouts and football and other non girly things.

She is happy with who she is and so am I.

I'm fairly sure it's because she is gay but she doesn't know it yet.

I found the programme from my O level prize giving recently (yup from 30 years ago, it was in my dads attic).
I was amazed to see just how poorly the glamorous, confident, boy focused girls who had made my life challenging did in their exams.
It never occured to me at the time.

OP: A final point that I think is worth making!

I've met plenty of women who were 'in' with the trendy/sexy crowd at school and rushed into adulthood before they were really ready so they could enjoy the kudos being in the vanguard. Many are filled with regrets about the missed opportunities, the misdirected efforts and the ill-effects on them of the various mistakes they made during that period of their lives.

I don't meet many women whose teenage years were like your daughter's who have these feelings about themselves.

A great point Andre, very true!

mutz, did your DS come up with that blinding retort himself? I am seriously impressed. He sounds like the kind of 'nerd' women like to fancy (when they are older of course!!)

I've got no idea lol..I'll have to ask him

OP, it's worth remembering too that a lot of the 'cool kids' will go home and snuggle up to Mum/Dad on the couch, with their favourite teddy bear...until the doorbell rings and the teddy gets hidden behind the couch quickly!

It's a Bill Gates quote. Great that your DS uses it. My DS knows it too. I've also a DS that is developing slowly - not into Facebook or trying to be particularly cool - and I'm more than happy with that. Agree that a lot of these kids peak too soon and what onceamai says about them ending up staying local and not doing anything interesting with their lives. It's what I've noticed too.

she sounds lovely, she just hasnt had that surge of hormones yet. Why not really get her involved with a hobbie so she can develop a talent and confidence in that area? itl keep her out of trouble when she get older too. I have a few friends who were just the same !