to expect my kids to play together?

[mtw]

My son is 8 and his sister is 4. He has no interest in playing with her. It really gets me down, I try to get himto play with her, even for a few minutes and he wont. Any advice? My 4 year old would do anything with him - she is very easy, not fussy, would enjoy 5 minutes of a game or drawing - anything - but he is a stubborn boy and for the most part ignores her.

I have almost 4 years gap between my dds and they do play together. However I just think this is good luck (and sometimes they don't want to play together)

I think it is more common for children with 4 years between them to not want to play together much tbh.

Why is it so important to you that he does play with her? If he is stubborn and you want to try and persuade him/coerce him then perhaps it's best you don't?

Could you try setting up an activity that they might both like to do (craft of playdoh or similar). If he joins in, great, if not, no problem.

Did they play together when they were younger. My 6 year and 2 year old play together all the time but after reading your OP, have to consider that this may change as they get older...

But I suppose the more you try and force the issue, the more he'll dig his heels in. I would do as lollipop says and set up a general activity and hope he'll join in.

My 7 year old ds plays with his nearly 4 year old brother much more than he plays with his nearly 4 year old sister

ds2 (4 in March) is very lucky as he has an older brother who like to play with him, a twin sister who he gets on very well with and a young brother (just 2) who also plays with him very well. Just not all at the same time

No.... they are individuals, just because they are siblings doesnt mean they have common interests, likes or even like each other.

Just because they are siblings, it doesn't mean they have things in common or that they will get on.

At 4y and 8y the age gap is very big and it is unlikely the 8y will have many interests n common with a 4y little girl.

Have you tried playing a game with thm both together - maybe something like one of the lego games, where you help her. Teach him how to play with a younger child.

My 8y DD will play with younger children - he cousins or children of friends normally. But for DD it is a novelty as she has no sibling. But day to day it must be more difficult in that sense.

You are being unrealistic, if not unreasonable, I'm afraid.

DS is four years older than DD - they are now 12 and 8 - and over the years, most of the time they have been far better at bickering and getting on each others' nerves than playing together, unfortunately.

We have had occasional moments when they have co-operated on lego constructions or got involved in some imaginative game, but that has been much more likely when we have had other children around as well so it was part of a bigger group enterprise. They will happily play cluedo or whatever in a group of other children, but wouldn't dream of just playing a board game with each other at home.

Four years is a big age gap, and when added to the gender difference (and personality differences, of course), unfortunately it means they very rarely want to do the same sort of thing at home. The best I can usually hope for is getting them to agree on something to watch, though they are getting on a bit better now they are older, and do enjoy some of the same outdoor/sporty activities.

The age gap is big, they will probably be fine when older.

Sorry, I should have said that the age gap is difficult. If it was smaller he would play as a friend, if it was bigger he would amuse a younger DC but they fall between the two. Our neighbours are like that and when they got to about 16 and 12 they got on well.

I doubt it - 16 years of full on war in my house and I cant see it altering anytime in the near future.

Neither would I expect my children to 'like' each other.

It's unfortunate for both of them that they have to live in close proximity to each other.