Innapropriate touching or AIBU?

[stargazeypies]

DS (who is 2.5 years old) and I were playing today and he asked me to touch his face then asked me to touch his willy. I said no one should touch your willy and asked him who had, he said daddy. Dh was sitting there and I asked if he'd ever touched it, he said yes obviously if DS has no clothes on he's not going to pull his hand away if it touches him and that I shouldn't say no one is allowed to touch your willy as it will give him a complex...

DH comes from a family who is very open about sex and nudity but my family was very uptight and sex was never talked about,

I don't know what to make of what happened today, AIBU?

hang on, he actually asked OP to touch his willy - not the same as generally touching it in the course of taking care of his physical needs. think you were right to post OP. YANBU to feel uncomfortable but imo it sounds like OH is innocent. you can't pretend to be more relaxed than you are about sex/nudity/genitals imo - you have to be what you are - send a straight signal. my neice once asked a male guest to smooth the downy hair on her public bone (which she called vagina of course - my pc sister). i found it excruciatingly embarrassing (as did the male guest) and felt my poor niece had been horribly set up, but there was a fierce expectation in the very air that we were prudish to feel like that.

I agree it's correct to be on guard for comments sometimes, but children really do say the most ridiculous things with no realisation as to what it means.

But humanheart he is 2.5 ffs! To him his willy is no different to his hand or his ear. Of course op didnt need to feel uncomfortable and the example you give is really not in the same league as what (didn't) happen in this case. My dd asked me to kiss her 'mini' better the other day as she'd bumped it. I declined but should I have felt 'uncomfortable' at the request? Hell no.

My DH touches DS's willy most nights. He has to wash it thoroughly or else he gets this smelly build-up of gunk in it [vomit] DS is 3. He could not do it himself.

DS also "honks" my boobies most days, because he thinks it is funny. I think it is funny.

OMG someone call the poliss

bupcakes, how are your family still walking the streets? Deviants, the lot of you!

what do you mean "should" or "shouldn't" feel uncomfortable libelulle? you either do or you don't - there's no 'should' or 'shouldn't' about it imo. OP felt uncomfortable, so she felt uncomfortable. she can't say "no, I don't feel uncomfortable" bcs she did!

On a bus my daughter (then aged 3) asked me to tickle her back and then VERY loudly asked me tickle her bottom.

On the inside.

I think she meant inside her pants, because she liked her skin being tickled.

At 6 she finds it hilarious to recount the story to anyone who will listen as does her sister (age 9).

{grin]

If you have other genuine concerns to cause you concern, and DO keep an eye on things, then you are not being unreasonable in questioning the most important instinct we have - protecting our children - but I think you answered your own question when you said your DH came from an open family and you came from an uptight on.

Perhaps the question is: what sort of family do you want your son to grow up in?

Chat to your DH, not us. You sound like a good mum to me. You've got a lucky son there, I hope it knows it one day.

xx

I'm sure there is probably nothing in it. I do understand where you are coming from as I had dd2 2.10 say daddy poked her bits I asked where because she called him naughty daddy . I trust DH but then so do lots of mums whose husbands are abusing their children . I know not to worry because dd2 shows no concern when with daddy and does not show any other promiscuous behaviour.