AIBU to be too scared to go back to work??

[Charleney]

I am currently on maternity leave at the minute as i lost my baby at Christmas.
Obviously i want to TTC again soon but i am too scared to go back to work incase they take it quite badly.
They werent happy when i told them i was pregnant before and have just made it really difficult for me to be paid SMP.
They told me i wasnt entitled to it but spoke to SMP department and they said i was so they have to pay me now..
..I dont know what to do
Anyone else been in a similar situation??

Thanks Stropicana

I think i will :) lol

I am so very sorry for your loss and also the horrid way you were treated. I lost 2 DDs one at 20 weeks and almost 24 weeks and it is heartbreaking (Happily I managed to have 5 DC in between 4 losses). Luckily both times I wasn't working (I was in college after one of them) and it took me at least a year to be able to function normally. Do whats right for you and screw them. Take as much time as you can. We tried straight away both times, I was so desperate to get pg, it took 1 month after 1st loss but over a year with 2nd. Take care.

Charleney, really sorry to hear you lost your baby and that you're being treated so shabbily and with so little compassion by your workplace.

In case you're not aware of it I thought you might be interested to know that if you did get a new job rather than go back to your old one, then provided you didn't have a huge gap in employment (not including maternity leave as you are still employed) then it's very likely that you would still be entitled to maternity allowance

www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/BenefitsTaxCreditsAndOtherSupport/Expectingorbringingupchildren/DG_10018869

In a nutshell you have to have been employed for 26 of the 66 weeks before your due date. The only difference between this and SMP is that you don't have the first 6 weeks at 90% of your current wage. So whilst it would leave you financially a little worse off than getting SMP, it may make the option of getting a new job a little more attractive if you feel that is the better option long term.

Good grief, your work are being completely unreasonable. Of course you are entitled to SMP and they should be bending over backward for you under the circumstances.

What you are doing is perfectly legal and you have every right to the money. Stay off for as long as you need.

Swines.

Thankyou everyone.. xx

Jellybeans im sorry for your loss, to go through it twice must be terrible, its lovely to hear you have 5 children now :)

TheFurryOne thankyou for that, i will have a look into it on that website.
Thats really helpful!

I'm thinking i might just stay on maternity leave and ttc again then see what happens after, i dont think i ever want to go back there to be honest. I dont want to work for people who have been so inconsiderate towards me, especially when i have worked my arse off for them before all this happened.

Take the whole lot. The horrible bastards. They should be so sympathic - I can't imagine how awful it must have been for you losing your baby. I'm really sorry. Use the time to relax and TTC if you feel ready.

Also - the working hard for a company bit gets so quickly forgotten. I feel so angry for you.

Oh and they wouldn't have a leg to stand on if they tried to pull anything funny, so try not to worry. Do you gave a union rep?

Thanks Cupcakebakerer, i'm half hoping they will so i definately wont have to go back! Thats bad aint it, i need to grow a pair and stop worrying!

It's awful when work are like this. It's the exact opposite of what you need at the moment. I'm the same re. worrying but work is not the be all and end all. Is your partner suitably horrified at them and being supportive?

Yeah i know, its crap. They even said to me on the phone, "we dont want to stress you out anymore..". What a joke.
Oh yeah definately, he has said that i should look for another job too.

The thing is, most of the info i've had about whats going on at work and with my maternity pay is from a collegue? Surely they shouldnt be telling her things about my situation??

i'm very sorry for your loss Charleney.

and i don't think your company have treated you well.

BUT

a small company will find it difficult to afford, esp given you were only there for a month. from their pov it's probably quite a blow.

it's unforgivable that they have been like this, but i can understand their position.

I can't believe they suggested you get a new job! If I was you I'd start looking but take the whole maternity leave you're entitled to. In the meantime have as little contact with them as possible as it will just leave you stressed. I wish you all the luck in the world getting pregnant again asap if that's what you want. You must have been through a dreadful time.

Thanks Warthog, i totally understand what your saying, definately.
I think its just the fact they are making me feel like i've done something wrong, just a bit of tact would be nice. Even if they are seething on the inside!

Oh no, my partner says i should find another job! Sorry.. lol.

Thankyou cupcake xx

Ah I see! I hope you find something fabulous. Does anyone know where Charleney would stand if she got pregnant whilst on mat leave? That might be useful to know?

Thankyou, well people have said i would be entitled to Maternity Allowance if i fell pregnant again.. i think with SMP you have to have worked in between..

Charleney I would recommend posting in the Employment section just to check your situation if you get pregnant on mat leave - there are some fantastic employment lawyers over there. My understanding is that you are entitled to a second mat leave, and to SMP, but the SMP may not be the same as the first year as there are qualifying weeks where your earnings are used to calculate the 90% and such like, so if you were in the unpaid bit at that point you might find the money problematic.

:(

Go back when your SMP runs out and then get yourself signed off sick. Nasty fuckers deserve you to screw them over!