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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be astounded at this?

43 replies

pinkhyena · 23/01/2011 17:55

I took DS (3 months old) to lunch with a friend and her friend who had a baby a month older than DS. While we were out I gave DS a feed but he fell asleep half way through, I commented that I hated it when he didn't finish a feed because it meant he would want more during the night. My friends friend replied to this saying she was glad when her LO didn't finish hers because it meant she wouldn't have the extra calories! I laughed but the scary thing is she wasn't joking. I feel sorry for this kid if her mum is calorie counting when shes only 4 months old. shakes head

OP posts:

TheMonster · 23/01/2011 19:09

That's really sad.

BoattoBolivia · 23/01/2011 19:17

My dd came home from school one day last week and told me that one of her friends was on a diet as her mum thought she was too fat! Another one has been told she is not allowed to eat after 5 pm for the same reason. They are 8! I was horrified. One of them is fairly barrel shaped, but so are the parents. If I were worried, thi k I would adjust the family's meals and encourage more exercise, but I would never tell an 8 year old she is too fat.
I was under the impression that you could not over feed a baby who is just on milk, as they will just stop drinking when they are full... I know mine always did.

mommmmyof2 · 23/01/2011 19:24

I can only imagine what type of life this child is going to have.I never worried about things like that.My dd was very very chubby and people often commented how big she was,especially fil.Said she should go on a tread mill! anyway now she is 6 and thin as anything, children should have a healthy balanced diet but calorie counting that age is madness

PhishFoodAddiction · 23/01/2011 19:31

So sad for that poor baby.

Does the mum calorie count for herself, or have an eating disorder?

I seriously can't imagine why anyone would want their baby to have less milk than they needed.

Both my DDs stopped feeding when full, and there was no chance of getting an extra ounce down them. They wouldn't keep guzzling once their tummy was full.

Porcelain · 23/01/2011 19:56

That's sad. I swear it was my mother's comments that gave me an eating disorder in my teens, but at least she didnt start until I was about 11.

I like DS to feed more so I get to eat more cake guilt free

Original poster

pinkhyena · 24/01/2011 16:48

Baby was of average weight, a bit on the small side if I'm honest. From what i've heard from our mutual friend she has some very wrong strange priorities when it comes to her kids. What I find bizarre is that her older kids live on junk food! Don't understand the mentality at all.

OP posts:

BusyMissIzzy · 24/01/2011 16:51

That's a bit scary. Some people just don't seem to get the distinction between "healthy diet" and "low fat diet", or the fact that what's good for adults is not necessarily good for babies and children. The message that fat/excess calories are bad is drummed into us these days, and I guess it's not obvious to everyone that the same doesn't apply to babies.

deliakate · 24/01/2011 16:53

SIL was a bit like this. She didn't want her DD to fall asleep feeding, as she'd be 'doped up' with the milk, and it would mean she'd had too much. I thought that was the point - DS fell asleep after every feed and I loved it.

Foreverondiet · 24/01/2011 17:04

Worrying... but then people can go the other way. My cleaner told me she is a godmother to a baby the same age as DS2 (9 months), who is huge compared to DS2 - her friend feeds the baby cake/biscuits/muffins/chocolate other junk all day and is so proud of how nice and plump he is... and then was very upset when HV said baby was off the charts and asked what was she feeding him. Probably safer to be a bit thinner than too fat even as a baby (although still think OP's friend is mad)

BusyMissIzzy · 24/01/2011 17:08

"Probably safer to be a bit thinner than too fat even as a baby"

I'm not sure I agree. A bit thin is OK, a bit chubby is ok too. In fact I think babies are supposed to be chubby! But if we're talking weight charts, then either extreme is not good, but anything inbetween is fine imo.

BoattoBolivia · 24/01/2011 17:38

I worry about over reliance on weight charts. My ds is on the 98 th centile now, having started at about 0.2! He was early. He had only formula/ breast milk until 6 months and since then has been weaned on a very healthy diet: steamed veg, mash etc, whatever meat/ fish we are eating, lots of fruit and absolutely NO cakes, sweets, crisps etc. I have had a few looks from the HV but agreed he was in proportion. He is long as well- 9 months old and needs 12- 18 baby grows as his feet push the ends of the smaller ones. Have to say I'm getting fed up with some of the comments, but as a 2nd time mum I have the confidence to stick to my guns!

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 24/01/2011 17:39

what a stupid woman.

Katey1010 · 24/01/2011 17:48

My 7 week old is a right chubster and I am so proud of her. I thought this was the one time you were allowed to be proud of fat you produced I have always been told breastfed babies cannot gain too much.

SharkSkinThing · 25/01/2011 18:30

BoattoBolivia - you have just described my DS and his diet! He's also 6 months and is 9 - 12 month babygrows and have made it crystal clear that no sugar will be offered to him until he is at least 18 months, and only then as an occasional thing.

My in-laws think I'm being silly, but he has a lifetime of crap food ahead of him and kids' parties etc, why introduce it until it's unavoidable?!

DP is 6ft 7 (yikes!), so DS also verrry long.

I'm sticking to my guns too!

Honeybee79 · 25/01/2011 18:44

Surely she was joking? If not, that's appalling and YANBU.

My DS is 3.5 months and is very chubby and big. People keep suggesting to me that I should be worried about it but I just assumed that it's normal for babies to be a bit chubby until they get mobile. Plus he was 10lb at birth (98th centile) so hey ho. He's FF and I asked the health visitor whether he could be over eating. She said no and told me to just carry on as before on the basis that if he's not hungry then he won't eat. He is a huge chubby beast though and alarmingly larger than the other babies in my NCT group .

BoattoBolivia · 25/01/2011 18:59

Shark: maybe we should start a group for mums who have big, healthy babies who are NOT overweight!
Honey: Join us in the "our babies are not overweight" group.

Honeybee79 · 25/01/2011 19:13

Boatto - I'm in. No weight issues for babies!

coatgate · 25/01/2011 19:24

My DD was 8lb 4ozs when she was born, but apparently I was losing fluid so she should have been bigger. Did not drop any weight after birth, and by the time I left hospital 6 days later she was already up to 10lbs. She was always on the 98th centile. At age 2-4months she looked like a sumo wrestler. She was exclusively BF and the HV used to ask me if I was producing double cream [bgrin]. She is now 11 and a fabulous shape, but she has got a shape. Many of her friends have 'noodle' legs. She is never going to be a stick insect. She is now starting to be aware of body issues - does my bum look big in this? and last night announced that she was going to start eating less, just before tucking into a couple of Ryvitas with cheese. They will be what they will be, but not giving a baby enough milk is tantamout to cruelty.

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