To think that cancer is awful and that the treatments for it are almost as bad as the disease itself?

[poshsinglemum]

My mum has cancer. It started in her mouth. She had an operation whereby she had half her tongue removed and built with part of her arm. It was the biggest tumour they had seen in that hospital.
It came back on her neck and she has had chemotherapy and now radiotherapy. With her chemotherapy she felt sick, her mouth blistered and she could hardly eat. Her hair fell out.
Radiotherapy is more painful. Her face has swollen up and her mouth has blistered up. She's in agony and can't eat or drink. She's going into hospital to so she can be tube fed and have proper pain relief as she still has two weeks to go and the side-effects are going to get worse.
Dad has taken her to hospital nearly every day for about 6 months. he's also working as a teacher and is knackered.
It's an awful illness and it's terrible seeing her in so much pain and so scared for her life. The treatments are awful too. Anyone else going through this? How do you cope as a bystander?

So sorry to hear what a brutal time your DM is having posh. I just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and her.

Please will someone tell me if radiotherapy is uncomfortable or has side effects? My mum is starting it soon for an incurable brain tumour diagnosed very recently

rads can make you very very tired and nauseous especially the whole brain rads I believe.I have heard that the mask you have to wear for this can be uncomfortable too
rads for breast cancer [which I had] is painless but it makes you tired and can cause symptoms like bad sunburn

thanks pranma

Sorry to hear some of the stories on here. :(

I don't actually have anything really constructive to say but I didn't feel that I could read and not comment.

Will be thinking of all of you (and families) who are going through treatments. x

One of my consultants always talks in really postive terms of the day they can switch the receptors off in the body that cause certain lymphomas and carcinomas...he has hope,,,

my dad diagnosed last week, lots and lots of sympathy op

he cant even get treated until he gets over illness 1 he has (long story)

there is nothing worse than seeing loved ones suffer

cancer can be really, really shit

YANBU at all. I'mvery sorry for you and I know exactly what you mean but I don't want to say anything that would make you feel any worse - my experience etc

What I don't understand is why it sometimes works for some people but not for others. I do hope your mum comes through. What can you do? I don't know, I felt really helpless with it. Just be there, grit your teeth, try to be strong.

What struck me is how amazingly brave people with cancer are. How they joke and cheer each other up in these cancer wards whilst waiting to get these awful treatments.

OP, I am so sorry. I went through cancer a few years ago and the treatment was awful but it did help me survive. My parents and loved ones suffered so much though - it was heart breaking for me to see them in so much pain because I was ill. Often I cried for them and not for me. Cancer affects everyone really, not just the sufferer. My thoughts are with you and your mum...

I'm very sorry to everyone whose lives have been affected by cancer. Last Friday it was confirmed my Mum has a fast growing tumour in her breast and underwent her first course of chemo on Wednesday. I feel so useless and unable to help. Becoming a Mum last year has made me value and realise just how much my Mum sacrificed for me and all I want to do is make her feel better. She is terrified about her treatment but has found some comfort in speaking to other patients who attended her chemo session but the treatment is brutal and does seem totally counterintuitive. All I keep thinking about is that it is a means to an end and she will get better.