To want DH to stop Effing WHINGING!!!!

[Ladyofthehousespeaking]

He's got a sore back and has to stay in bed for two days and do fuck all. He's got a headache. Hes got a sore throat. He's slept too long. He's tired.
He's got this amazing opportunity on Wednesday, but that's just another opportunity to be a grumpy sod because he's stressed...
Argh!

Normally I wouldn't mind that much but as some of you know I had a misscarrriage a few weeks back, which went horrifically wrong 2 weeks ago and ended up having a lot of horrible procedures that are still bothering me alot mentally.:(
I think this is the reason why I can't listen to his whining about a common cold and half the time I feel like a bitch for wanting to tell him to shut the fuck up, my hormones are still bad too with big angry mood swings so..
He was great when I was ill though so I don't think I should say anything.

I just don't know if I am being U or not :(

I'm so sorry about your miscarriage. That is so sad.

I don't think YABU. I started reading this thinking it was just a standard 'argh, he has a cold' whinge that everyone wants to make sometimes. I do think colds are really irritating as we all know they're not medically serious, so it's easy to get annoyed.

I just wondered though, if maybe he isn't more upset that he has admitted? It doesn't excuse him - it sound incredible crass of him - but maybe if he is both under the weather, and also very upset, he doesn't mean to annoy you?

Is there any sign that this is a displacement activity and he really wants space to feel bad - ostensibly about the cold, but really about other things?

If not, give him a talking-to!

I occasionally have this with my DH too, Ladyofthehouse.

I have a big, fat, massive illness which invokes a lot of sympathy in anyone who knows about it. I try to play it down, because I know I just have to get on with it.

When DH gets ill, with so much as a sniffle, tthere is a HUGE drama in the house.

The way I look at it, he has a lot to put up with, making sure I'm all right, putting on a cheerful face, doing extra stuff because I'm not up to it.

Even though his methods are astonishingly clumsy, he just wants a bit of love and attention for himself. I do love and care for him, so I go along with all the dramatic symptoms until he gets it all out his system. Sometimes have a wry smile to myself, but I never let him know!

Thanks littlereddragon, I'm not sure tbh- he has been very good about talking about things up until now, I think he's just not thinking..
I'm just trying not to drive myself mad, he's not been that cuddley with me and has not phoned me etc when he's been working
horrible horrible horrible.

Lol- I think you're right kitty :)

Sorry he is being like this. I hope it is just his way of responding, but it's still not very nice of him.

I reckon Kitty is right too - can you break a pattern and take him out for a meal/rent a film to slob out in front of/ buy some wine? Maybe it would be nice for you both?

Lovely idea kitty- have wanted the see morning glory film so will check listings, will do us good to get out a bit I think :)

Competitive suffering is a spiral you want to get out of if you can. Just because Person X has Experience Y, this does not invalidate anyone else suffering.

Can you climb in next to him and tell him you need some smypathy and a cuddle (and a cup of tea) too!