to feel really disappointed with friend and not know what to do about it?

[Spacey01]

Have a friend who have known since our children were little, met at a post natal group. Got on very well and spent a lot of time together. The other week we were driving back from a day out with the children and mine was a bit whingy and tired and said "No" quite moodily at her child and my friend looked at me and said "God your kid is horrible!"
I was a bit! annoyed and let her know that and since we have not contacted each other. I tried to contact her today about something and got a short response back. I am so disappointed in her and annoyed in myself for starting to feel guilty about it and that I may be in the wrong, I feel that I deserve an apology and then we can move on (knowing the rules!)
Am I in the wrong - is it okay to say that about other peoples children?

Spacey, I think your friend was out of order with what she said and you deserve an apology. However I noticed that you said that your daughter is more advanced than hers and I'm wondering if you make that point to her, or if you regularly let her know that your daughter is more advanced or compare the children? If so, is it possible that she's just snapped because of this?

I don't mean this in a horrible way towards you, I'm just trying to establish a reason as to why she's said it.

But no, there is no excuse for saying what she did and I think I would just let the friendship go TBH

I think she's already dumped you anyway tbh

All kids are horrible at times. They all have there moments and at 3! Well its part of the course! I'm sure Yr friends child will have equally horrid moments as times go on. It's very hard I have a friend whose son is going through a difficult stage. I'm hoping it passes and he calms down. Many times I have wanted to say somthing but have bit my tounge as I value my friendship. Your friend is bu to say what she did
But what you do now is up to you. I hope it works out.

It's an unwritten rule that you don't make nasty comments about children to their mothers.

I gave up on a friendship recently where she made really nasty remarks about my daughter. I felt bad at first, but then it wasn't the first time she'd made catty comments and I realised that underneath the comments there was a lot of hostility and a feeling of superiority.
(Thinks she is a expert on child raising despite having no children of her own)

omg what a mean mate

easy to say but i would trim a mate that said that

let her come running to you, and let her know that it upset you

kids come first

Maybe it was just a joke? She might have thought she knew you well enough to know you wouldn't take the comment seriously, but it has backfired.

(can see why you'd be annoyed, just trying to see her POV)

why did your DC say "No" to your friend's DC was there a reason for it, or purely just because your DC was tired etc? Did something happen prior to that, that you never saw?

agree with the poster who noticed also that your DC is quicker at everything than her's? are you sure your friend is not sick to the back teeth of you maybe letting her know this on every occasion and it slipped out (still not right)

YANBU for being annoyed at what she said it was very thoughtless.

All three year olds can be horrible! Cranky, grumpy, whinging little buggers

If she'd said "God, x is being a little bugger today!" or any other comment about that particular behaviour then that would have been more forgiveable.

But to said that your child is horrible - not what they have said, or their behaviour that moment - but is, as a person is, horrible is totally different. And tbh, in your shoes, I wouldn't be trying to contact her for any reason.

to say, not to said.

Rubbish to all who think the cowbag "friend" has already binned the OP. IMO she's lying low because she knows she's behaved badly and feels highly embarassed.
Spacey, you haven't done anything wrong so don't start thinking that.
Like another poster said "there are some people that you do have to realise are not good to keep as friends, as you are always walking on eggshells". Who needs it?

I have friends who stuck with me and "my horrible child" when at 2 she bit everyone in sight.

And I have friends who have kids who are worse than horrible sometimes. And always have been. I never tell them.

Leave it for a bit, you don't need that but if you miss your friend (in time) why not suggest a night out without kids and put it behind you.

I don't think YABU and I do think she's in the wrong but it got under your kins enough to write this, why not tell her how you feel or get together without kids screaming?

Hope it works out!

*got under your skin, sorry, stupid fat fingers.