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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

in thinking that this woman, who I relatively friendly with, has taken leave of her senses re:our children?

28 replies

Catnao · 22/01/2011 20:48

This is trivial, but I am a bit .

The phone went this morning, my son (10) answered it and the half of the conversation I heard went: "Hello? Yes it is...Oh, no thank you, I'm a bit tired and I don't really feel like it at the moment....Yes, see you tomorrow maybe...Bye"

It was a friend of his who lives in our village asking him to come round to play.

2 minutes later, said child's mother rang me and shouted down the phone at me that my son was rude and being ungrateful, and had really upset her son! Then hung up!

So, am I? She's not my friend as such, but we've always been on friendly terms and the kids play out together a lot.

OP posts:

bigbabushkas · 22/01/2011 20:55

YABU, she sounds barking. I would keep clear! Is there any past history between the two boys such as a fall out that would make her react in such a way?

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 22/01/2011 20:56

Blimey !

TheMonster · 22/01/2011 20:57

What did they invite your son to do?

DuplicitousBitch · 22/01/2011 20:57

wacko

CupcakesHay · 22/01/2011 21:00

V. Odd. Maybe her son was having a "down" day or something and needed a friend or something. But still, strange reaction from the mother. But maybe there's more to this?

Did you find out what the kid was inviting your DS to?

Original poster

Catnao · 22/01/2011 21:00

Well, my son said he just invited him to come round to their house to play! Glad it's not just me who thinks she seems to have gone slightly bonkers! I was quite upset though and it's been niggling at me all day!

OP posts:

TheMonster · 22/01/2011 21:08

It does sound like she over-reacted. I presume her son was very upset.

Original poster

Catnao · 22/01/2011 21:11

Well, I'm going to have to see her again by Monday at the latest, so maybe I should ask her about it - which is a bit of a nervy thought!

I know her son does find it hard to make friends as she has told me so in the past, so maybe my son wasn't the first on the invite list or something and she was feeling frazzled after more than one "no" maybe?

OP posts:

pagwatch · 22/01/2011 21:14

Just talk to her. If her son was upset he may have exaggerated you sons polite declinature into something that better suited to his distress.

Tortington · 22/01/2011 21:17

you sound like a nice understanding person, who is trying to think of a reason for her really rude and aggressive behaviour.

how the hell does she know that you wern't having a shitty day yourself? eh? she doesn't know that your son was being well behaved - she knows nothing

this selfishness riles me, this thoughlessness riles me

so, if she says anything - curtly respond 'maybe i wasn't having the best day myself before i was shouted at?'

she sounds like a prick

Lamorna · 22/01/2011 21:20

I wouldn't get drawn in, if she mentions it again just say that your DS wasn't in the mood and you heard him decline politely. If she persists further just say that you keep out of DCs friendships and change the subject. It takes two to argue.

Original poster

Catnao · 22/01/2011 21:22

I hadn't though of that Pagwatch - maybe her son told her that my son said something like "No way!" or something?

OP posts:

Ingles2 · 22/01/2011 21:24

bloody stupid woman... honestly!
and I bet her son is mortified!
Being a blunt old cow, I'd just tell her I don't appreciate calls like that on a Sat morning. We had other plans and ds was trying to be polite. Then leave it for her to apologise.

Original poster

Catnao · 22/01/2011 21:40

Well, if she does say anything to me, I WILL tell her that I HEARD my son declining and that, In my opinion, he did it politely... I wonder if I should ring her myself tomorrow and (politely!) enquire about the incident, as the place where I am likely to encounter her is on the playground on Monday morning, when I am duty and she is dropping off her children?

OP posts:

CupcakesHay · 22/01/2011 23:21

I'd leave it til you see her in person, and only bring it up if she does - she was probably having an off day - maybe her son was. And maybe 2 days afetr event, it'll all be like water off a ducks back.

A1980 · 22/01/2011 23:25

I'd ignore the stupid cow.

weedle · 22/01/2011 23:28

If he's anything like his mother no wonder hes got no other mates!!

I'd put it down to a bad day, maybe he was being a pita and she thought she'd use your son to get some peace!

MsKLo · 22/01/2011 23:29

Her sob probably exaggerated the call so just talk to her! There is no point in speculating

bubblewrapped · 22/01/2011 23:31

I would have rung her straight back and said "just hang on a minute...." and repeated exactly what you heard your son say..

Parsgirl · 23/01/2011 05:39

Agree with bubblewrapped

Lamorna · 23/01/2011 08:07

I wouldn't ring her back or bring it up again, just ignore it.

CrapBag · 23/01/2011 11:37

What a stupid cow she is.

Who does things like that, really!

Wait for her to bring it up, if she does. If she doesn't, ignore it and I would avoid her. She seems to have issues tbh.

ScarlettWalking · 23/01/2011 11:49

Ignore the silly woman. Don't even get into it honestly I speak from experience. Some people are really odd and that's that.

Binfullofmaggotsonthe45 · 23/01/2011 12:00

Wow what a thing to do! She must be a bit on edge about his lack of mates I understand, but that kind of attitude isn't going to win him more mates is it?

Who will want to go and play at his house with the crazy mum hanging round?

My DS5 went to school with a lad he really never played with and his mum was constantly trying to get them together, even bypassing me to get ds to say yes so I couldn't then awkwardly refuse.

It blew up in her face when my ds turned round and said "I really don't want to come to your house thank you."

Well at least he said thank you before I awkwardly bundled him into the car

humanheart · 23/01/2011 12:33

sounds like she was having a psycho day (haven't we all? oh well, maybe just me then). though thank GOD i've never gone that far. she sounds at the end of her rope tbh. not your responsibility though, ultimately. it won't have helped her son on the popularity front, that's for sure - if she's that uptight and her son is living in that soup: gruesome.

the only time I ever had a go at a mum along similar lines was when my son was at playgroup and had one very good friend. we were going through a divorce and so all a bit beleaguered. son's friend suddenly disappeared overnight from pre-school - turned out his mum had pulled him out with not a word said to us. ds and friend played constantly together every day at pre-school, very thick, always on playdates at eachother's houses. I had a sharp word with her that she could've said something, could've warned us.

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