to expect DH to do more at home?

[cabbageroses]

I have worked from home for the past 12 years, part time, self employed. I put in about 20 hrs a week. Have 1 DS at home still post-uni but about to move out within months.

We have a very traditional set up with DH earning most of our money, and working 8-7pm most days. he does no housework or cooking at all. The only things he does are the DIY when essential, ( he loathes decorating so rarely does that), putting thw wheelie bin out, and picking up the odd item of food at the weekend when he is out in town.

However, recently my work has picked up and I am working longer hours- mainly into the evening, but my Dh and DS still assume I will cook from scratch each night. (Due to 2 of us having food allergies take aways etc are limited.)

I am really resenting his lack of contribution to the chores. he will do stuff if I make a list or tell him what to do, but he never sees dirt or washes his own clothes, or irons, or cooks anything. Ever.

I feel I have become a 1950s houswife .

Would you expect a Dh to do more?

Get a cleaner, quickly, life is too short to be stressing about housework. If you want your husband to do more then you have to ask him, he will probably be very shocked as you have left it quite late to balance things out. He may respond well to a reward system:o

Cabbage, you say the cooking gets you down, not the cleaning.

Get a cook then.

May be change the from scratch meals too. I eat like that but nothing takes liong to cook and I work whilst it's going on - pice of salmon under the grill with timer on, back to office, 4 mins later turn it over whilst rice is cooking etc.

Also you don't have to eat together, just get your own stuff in the week and work evenings a few times a week. Takes the pressure off. And my post university son cooks for his twin brothers 365 nights a year just about so no reason yours cannot cook for the rest of you.