to buy 5 year old a DS lite

[cosysocks]

Ds is five shortly, he enjoys playing games on ps3 and wii with dp, however games not educational (but still age appropriate).
My mum is selling ds lite and I was considering it for ds.
Is this going to be a big mistake? My thoughts are at least he can have educational games to play as there are none for wii and ps3? I'm just worried about him having one so young, but if he is going to play games I'd rather them be educational.
Other thoughts are a Leapster but is this just going to be cast aside quite sharpish.

Not to pick on a specific poster but to pick out the sort of thought/comment that makes my heart sink: "My grandaughter has one. she is 4 and it keeps her very quiet in restaurants and on car journeys.."

Why are 4yo seen as needing to be kept very quiet in restaurants/car journeys? I understand long car journeys, I really do. From the point of the child in that car journeys are boring and often sick-making, not to keep them very quiet. Which is why we have a car headrest DVD player for ONLY when we go on holiday or journeys of one hour or more. The rest of the time it lives in the attic.

But why want to shut up a 4yo in a restaurant? Why not let her be part of the family, interacting and learning from how others interact in that social setting?

"I think at five kids should be happy with a picture book"

I don't know one five year old dim enough to have all their play needs met by a picture book, or any other one toy (including a Ds). What a powerful lack of curiosity one must have, to be entirely satisfied by a picture book!

ds's are fine. And are a very effective carrot. My sons (4 and 7) get 30 minutes per night, which they thoroughly enjoy.

WHY do we have no idea of the long term effects this is going to have on kids? Consoles were invented in 2007 you know! I spent a large proportion of my childhood on a Sega Megadrive and have entirely failed to kill anyone.

Mine are 5 and 6 and have had one for a year now.

They are not addicted to it and probaly spend 30 minutes a week on it.

My 5yo would not be happy with just a picture book, i'd be worried if he was!

I think it's fine as long as you are sensible (and you sound it). My son is getting one for his 4th birthday.
My DD has one and it is very useful for times when she needs to occupy herself (Dr Surgery, car journeys etc)

She usually plays on it when she comes home from school, and then she will do her homework or other things. She also has some things on in the evenings so she really doesn't spend loads of time on it. She does prefer the Wii and loves the Just Dance game and we do that when it isn't practical to do things outside.

My dd loves craft and reading and if it was a choice between that and the DS I know she wouldn't pick the DS

So, I think it's ok as you obviously know what you are doing and won't let him go OTT with it.

Don't know about a DS but my nearly 5yo has access to the iTouch that me and DH no longer use as we have iPhones.

As long as you restrict its usage I don't see a problem with them.

Agree about the carrot

my dd has one and she still runs about, plays with friends ect..
She mostly plays with it on long journeys, but does play with it too on the house.Not done any harm.
It gets her thinking too,having to read the next part, we could argue the same about tv.

My DS (aged 5) uses my DS each morning for one hour. He wakes up at the crack of dawn when the rest of our family are still asleep and I'm getting dressed and then making packed lunches. This works well for us - he understands it's a treat and that it's for one hour only.

It's very very, easy for them to become addicted, I've found. An hour a day is OK IMO but it's crucial to keep to your specified time. My son has tried again and again to push the boundaries. I went through a phase of letting him have longer at the weekend but have gone back to no more than an hour a day. He honestly couldn't cope with more - his behaviour deteriorated considerably and he became stressed and aggressive.

I wish he'd never got into playing it TBH. As I said it's mine, but he became interested because his 14 year old sister got a game that she plays on my DS and she let him play it without me knowing.

Coldtits. "WHY do we have no idea of the long term effects this is going to have on kids? Consoles were invented in 2007 you know!

I presume you meant consoles weren't invented in 2007? Working on that assumption I would respond that only in recent years have these games consoles become mega popular/affordable/widely available even if you had a Sega some moons ago growing up. When I was growing up there were miniature versions of Donkey Kong (ie the pinball type machines, but miniature ones) but the only kids who had them had the sort of parents who laughed at education.

b) "I spent a large proportion of my childhood on a Sega Megadrive and have entirely failed to kill anyone".

Who said anything about killing anyone? It's not all about extremes, it could be as-yet undiscovered information. For example, only fairly recently has there been a new studies regarding the damage that more than two hours a day of TV can do to preschool kids iehere. It's not just about having them stuck in front of a TV screen and not learning anything "real", it's about stunting the development of the brain.

There's a lot we don't know yet. Smoking used to be permitted in hospital wards. Pregnant women were encouraged to smoke to calm their nerves. We now know that was wrong advice. Time tells.

Our Nintendo had taken the guise of a small but toxic drug which, little by little, was poisoning my children.

When they had had their fix, they were even more frustrated and discontented than before.

Interestingly, Dr Susan Greenfield, writing last weekend in the press, seems to suggest the same thing.

A specialist in brain degeneration, Dr Greenfield has a new book out which predicts that young people are headed for a mass loss of personal identity, thanks to the amount of time they spend in the interactive realms of things like Nintendo.

"The time is well nigh," she said, "to explore the impact of these technologies."

Well, I don't want to explore the impact any more. I know what the impact is on my children.

I have first-hand evidence that using a Nintendo turns my delightful, curious and funny children into argumentative demons full of aggression, wholly uninterested in anything apart from playing, and then playing some more.

At the same time that all the children started crying and yelling before breakfast, I spotted Phoebe's cello and I realised that she had not got it out of its case all week.

Yet she had notched up probably around eight hours on the Nintendo. There and then, I made my mind up. The Nintendo had to go, and to hell with my children 'fitting in'.

But how to get rid of it? I mused on the idea of giving it to my sister, a mother-of-five, but rejected that on the grounds of child cruelty.

I considered selling it on eBay, but rejected that on the grounds that I didn't want to waste any more of my energy on the hideous thing.

In the end, last week, I walked into my local branch of Cancer Research UK and gave it away.

"Would you like this Nintendo?" I said. "In perfect condition, with a bundle of 20 games. Plus charger."

The lady behind the counter smiled broadly. "What a fantastic gift," she said.

I returned to stunned disbelief from the children - "You did what?" - and floods of real tears.

Since then, however, our domestic life has been transformed.

The children have swung back into their old habits of reading, playing the violin, walking the dog, occasionally fighting, cooking and making things.

Do they mourn for the lost screen-based world of the Nintendo? Actually, I think they've forgotten all about it.

Read more: www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-563109/Ninten-Dont--How-I-watched-children-turn-monsters-minute-I-bought-game.html#ixzz1BcEDbulT

missyfafa - I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one that does this! Best decision I ever made.

There is no way I would allow a 5 year old to have one. My neighbour droped round some kind of Nintendo the other day and asked if my girls would like it (they are 6 and 4). I haven't even opened the bag, I am just going to give it back to her and say no thank you. I may be thought of as a wicked mother but I wont be having anything like that in the house.

DS got one (it was a Gameboy then I think) when he was 6(ish). Didn't stop him reading HP and the Philosopher's Stone at 6 (in Latin at 12), Lord of the Rings at 7, passing the entrance exam into one of the most selective schools in the country at 8, passing 3 GCSE's at 15 - 3A*s, and being on target to get 9 more this year. I shan't go on. DD is about to do RSCM Silver and is looking forward to singing at the Albert Hall soon. She has one too. They also have a Wii, an Xbox, ipods, and a laptop. We have ensured they have had a normal "muck about" childhood and have also dangled a foot in modern normality. Oh goodness - DD has pierced ears too (holds up shield to avoid flame).

and I have to entirely disagree with the facile statement "What a powerful lack of curiosity one must have, to be entirely satisfied by a picture book!", I think quite the opposite. Of course you'd have to be quite idiotic to think I am suggesting you should only give your child one picture book to read all their lives.
The thing about all these 'toys' is that, like T.V. they are convenient babysitters, they keep kids quite. While your child's brain is being zapped you can go about your business, have a cup of tea, have some quiet time in the car on long journeys, do some housework. It is really all about you, not the child. The child will gain very little from the experience except perhaps to zombify them for a while and mess with their synapses.

@ onceamai That's great that you measure your child by their academic achievements but that is not the issue. I know a lot of very clever people with poor social skills, that is one of the problems with these games.

My kids are 4 and 7 and neither interested in getting a DS. Sorry don't understand why anyone would buy one unless doing lots of car journeys.

Thanks for the post, lots of things to think about.

Your children's achievements are immense, onceamai. Congratulations to them. However, I would have respected your post and you so much more, had you resisted the temptation to deliver it without the arrogance.

No, I wouldn't, personally.

DS (6) has access to one once a week at a local computer club and absolutely loves Mario kart and the like. He is allowed to play on our PS3 9we have Wii type games like golf and teenis which he loves) on Fridays after school with his dad. But otherwise, no computer games in our house. It would just be another thing (like the TV) that I have to battle to try to limit, so I am holding off on this sort of thing for as long as possible.

missyfafa - not sure what @ means. I don't measure my dc by their academic achievements - they are very happy, well rounded and popular. Just happen to be geniuses too and hopefully too well brought up to be so rude.

Guess we shall just have to wait and see....

Statement of fact Squaredance, would you care to define the arrogance or do you just take issue at being disagreed with. This from a woman who stated "but the only baby goats kids who had them had the sort of parents who laughed at education . And you call others arrogant .

I wouldn't buy him one until he asks for one.

I don't think they're a problem though, it's just another toy, albeit an expensive one.

I understand the reluctance from parents of children who would spend all day on them, but along with lots of other toys/games/access to the outdoors, I really can't see any problem.

@ blackletterday - I hear this inference sooo often!

Ask your children, onceamai, I am sure they know what the '@' symbol signifies; after all they are officially genii