to be upset at DS's teacher?

[Alikersh]

On Wednesday my DS was accused of bd behaviour and rudeness by a local shop keeper so obviously I wanted to get it sorted out asap. When I picked DS up from school (he's 10) that afternoon he was messing around with his friend while I tried to talk to him, so I raised my voice to make myself heard.
Thing is, his teacher saw this, heard me 'shouting' and even though it was after school hours has moved him from 'green' to 'amber' on this traffic light system they use at the school to monitor behaviour. This has meant that he has lost his last 2 morning playtimes as a sort of detention. I only found this out last night and am planning on seeing his teacher this afternoon as I'm really not happy - he explained to her that I was just trying to get his attention and she apparently said 'tough'...
Thing is that as far as I'm concerned it's really none of her business - it was after the school bell although it was still in the playground, he was MY responsibility at that point so did she have the right to get involved?
Am very cross about this, first he gets wrongly identified as a rude brat by the shopkeeper (when he saw DS he realised he had the wrong child and apologised) then gets detention because I tried to make myself heard! Advice please, don't want to go blunering in and making myself out to be a loon...

None of the teacher's business! As an ex teacher myself I am very surprised at her behaviour. Definitely speak to her.

he's lost playtime because he was told off by his mother, when under his mother's jurisdiction?

and

when your son is under your control, you are in charge of him and give him his punishment. Not the school.

You have to go in and talk to the teacher about these boundaries.

YANBU. Will she be camping outside yourself overnight on the offchance that she'll hear you shout at your DS again/
Dreadful, teachers are in loco parentis during school time, once that finishes you are the responsible adult.
If DD was still at a school using that system and based on my screeching at her, she'd be off the chart

Definitely none of her business. If she doesn't see reason this afternoon though, after speaking to you, I'd be very surprised.

Thanks, will speak to teacher this aft - was fairly certain I wasn't being unreasonable but it's good to know you think so too!

I see what you're saying but your son was still on school grounds and I think the teacher was probably just trying to support you.

Maybe actually speak to the teacher yourself, agree she may feel she is backing you up. Think a face to face discussion in these circumstances is called for rather than relying on a 10 yr old to explain and then relay what she said about it.

Thts why I want to speak to her headsup, to get her take on it.
The problem is though that the teachers are a little hazy on where their juristriction ends - I have seen teachers walk past a fight in the school grounds after the hometime bell and explain to parents that they can't interfere as it's after school hours!
I'm all for parents and teachers backing each other up and as I said I'm not planning on going blundering in looking for a fight, just to find out whats going on.

YANBU

Forgive me for being cynical but personal experience has taught me that teaching staff can be very selective about getting involved in out-of-school-hours situations. Had your DS been assaulted by a parent, with all the difficulties that arise from that, I wonder if she'd have been as willing to intervene.

I'd be exceedingly cross if I were you and would consider it necessary to make it absolutely clear to this teacher just who is the parent and where her duties end. Had you clearly been struggling or had you looked around and appealed for help, fine, but otherwise she was overstepping the mark.

absolute craziness! did you get a chance to talk to the teacher?

Do you think the shop keeper might have complained tot he school? If not it's a bit OTT I think.

Hx

Definitely Not Unreasonable!

(and I came on here to say suck it up, teacher shouts at naughty child, mum doesn't like it, give me strength)

You are absolutely right, what happens out of school is none of her business unless it has a direct impact on his time in school.

Similarly, a friend of mine's child was put in punishment by his teacher because he behaved like a divilchile at a birthday party, at which her friend was a guest and told her all about it.

One of my pet hates is how some teachers think their jurisdication reaches further than 9-3.30 weekdays.

I would never undermine a teacher's authority and I think teachers who do that to parents are not professional.