To want my DD (2) to be home on my 2nd dc maternity leave

[Whitethorn]

I am due my 2nd pretty soon and am taking my DD out of full time childcare a few weeks post birth (she will start a montessori in sept) for not only financial but also for personal reasons. She will go 2 half days a week.
I want to experience being a 'real' SAHM for my maternity leave, I have had enough quiet coffees, and know that chaos awaits me but what the hell, why else do you have children?
I am sick to my eye teeth of people saying -do you not feel guilty that you wont be giving the new baby the same attention. (My answer - God No, this baby is at least getting a mother who has an idea of what they are doing), Are you not worried about how busy you are going to be (My answer - Yes but if I was that worried surely I wouldnt have had a 2nd)
And then the wonderful - how are you going to cope (My Answer - Eh the same way that those generations of women before us coped, except they didnt have the luxury of CBeebies, washing machines, disposable nappies etc)

GRRRRR Rant Over !!

YANBU, but it would be wise to gradually cut down the childcare if possible. As much for your DD who mustn't feel she's missing out for DC2 as for yourself and your recovery from the birth.

You know some strange people, I never had anyone ask me any of those questions.

I think that sounds a nice thing to do, some time with mum and baby will be great for your daughter. I might be tempted to spend some of the money saved on a cleaner though so you aren't looking after 2 kids and trying to keep the house tidy.

Dont you think your dd will just be BORED at home with you changing nappies and feeding her sibling?

I have done what you have done, and not felt the need to cruzade about it, and know that a small child tugging at your sleeves while you feed your newborn, is not much fun. Not for you, not for the child.

It is a shame you have to do this, just to feel that you are a mother.

YANBU, of course if you are going to be at home you would like to see both of your children as much as possible. And of course you will manage it.

Only question is, how will your DD react - will she be delighted to be at home, or might it be a disruption to her established routine (especially with another big change i.e. a sibling at the same time)?

Not saying you shouldn't do it, just something to consider. Cutting down gradually as Hetty says could help.

Well Motricia I dont know if the people I know are strange but a lot of them are working Mums who balk at the idea of having 2 DC's at home, or having to do any cleaning etc etc.

Hetty, Minipie
DD is not crazy about childcare so will probably be quite happy to be at home. I have quite a lot of family support also so am lucky in that respect.

I did exactly the same (DS was 20 months when DD was born). It didn't feel "right" him being in childcare when I was at home. Plus it was definitely a plus not to have to get ready to take him to nursery each day!!

I absolutely do not regret the time I had with both children at home. The one caveat I would give you was that it was VERY tough settling him back into nursery at 2.6 - if I was to do it again I would consider having him stay there for (say) just 1 morning, so he had some sort of continunity.

yanby and I think you have a good balance of time alone with baby and sahm-dom.

I did it similar on my mat leave with dc2, only that dc1 was in preschool 2 full days a weel.
I have to admit that I cherished those two days, where I could go to baby singing with the little one or do other activities that are more difficult with two children around.
dc1 also enjoyed staying in preschool and not missing out on playing with his friends.