to want to get out of this house? Really appreciate opinions on what you would do

[bubbleandsqueaks]

Our neighbours have made our life hell since we moved in four years ago. None of them work and they use their back garden and front garden like a car garage to mend vehicles for cash. Their sons (18 and 16) hang around the front of the house in the evenings with all their friends which disturbs us and worst of all my 3yo dd who has to go to sleep listening to their swearing and shouting.

We have had to involve our local councillor to try and solve the noise issues which worked and things are slightly better now. The teenagers are no longer as bad, although I do still feel intimidated when I have to walk past them. All that can be done via official channels has be done and the noise they make now has to be tolerated. I hate using the garden, once they realise we are outside they come outside and start swearing and shouting to each other and I hate dd1 hearing it.

Our other neighbours have been no help in trying to resolve the issues, even though they affect them as much as us and one lot even thanked us for making things quieter They keep their heads down and their mouths shut due to fear of repercussions. I don't blame them, we have had our TV ariel damaged, our house egged, our car had brake fluid poured over it. This was at the height of the trouble about 2 years ago.

We reported every incident and eventually things calmed down. Last week however one of the neighbours sons friends threatened dh and near enough chased him, the following night he broke our front fence and then after the police had been round he came back shouting things at the house. All this was reported to the police and is being dealt with.

But I have had enough, I can't keep fighting and living in fear. The problem is though we are in a mess financially. We are in a debt management plan which will take about 6 years to pay off and on an interest only mortgage.

We had an estate agent round yesterday and to let our house out and rent a smaller one we would just about break even, but it would take us a long time to get into a position where we could a deposit up, pay the letting agent a months rent to let our house out, do minor repairs in our house etc. And we are in such a weak position financially that having a house with no tenant would break us.

If we sell, after fees, we would walk away with about £10,000 which would pay off half our debts but then we would never be able to buy again as we could never save like that again for a deposit - we have 2 dc now! So we would be renting for the rest of our life. Which worries dh, he worries about paying high rent in old age, being forced to keep moving if we rent etc. I think having a big mortgage, which until I return to FT work we won't be able to pay is pointless.

Its causing us to argue, he wants to stay put and doesn't think they should drive us out. I'm not sure how much longer I can live like this - AIBU to think renting for the rest of lives (we are 30) isn't the end of the world.
I think dh needs stability. I need to get out.

When we bought our first house we quickly realised that we had neighbours from hell. A family of 6 living in a 2 bed terrace, four teenagers who made noise all day and night and parents who didn't work. They did have sex every night and DH and I used to desperately try and get to sleep wondering how on earth they didn't feel embarrassed knowing their 4 teenager children could hear them..

After some desperate digging I discovered the person I bought the house off had made numerous complaints to the council, environmental health about the noise. Infact there was a big file in the local council offices that I managed to see after applying under FOI rules.

The upshot was that I contacted my solicitor and was basically told that yes even though my neighbour had lied on the forms when she sold us the house (she didn't declare any diputes) basically there was nothing we could do. We could try and take her to court but it would cost thousands and we would end up achieving little except losing more money.

My point is that even if people don't declare disputes and are 'found out' it is rare for any action to be taken. Not that i am implying people should lie. I was fecking furious with the woman who lied and sold us our house for years...

Do not go bankrupt unless you absolutely have to.

I had a bankrupcy years ago in another country but it was a port of last call in every way - I'd lost my home in a divorce, was living in a dire bedsit, been made redundant and was doing temp/agency work, driving a boyfriend's car, then the car was struck by a drunk driver and I had no medical insurance and got injured.

I mean, I had nothing. No assets at all.

And even then, it didn't carry the stigma there that it does here - such as preventing you from working in certain jobs.

whyohwhywhy - Can I ask if you were given that advice recently?

whyohwhywhy - having been in the position of the seller of your house, I think you should save your anger for your neighbours. Or, perhaps, for the systems that allow them to get away with this behaviour for years on end.

BubbleandSqueak... I'm so sorry to read of the problems you're having with your neighbours, they sound horrible.

They are defeatable though... it just needs a plan to be followed and the appropriate agencies brought in to help. For your part, you'll need to learn not to take 'No' for an answer.

You'll need to gather your evidence firstly. Can you speak to your council's Environment Health Department? Make an appointment to visit them, explain the issues and ask them to install some CCTV for a couple of weeks.

In the meantime, start contacting your elected Member, haunt him two or three times a week. Ring him at home (when there's a racket) and at other times write to him. Tell him that you'll be writing to the Director of Environmental Health and the Chief Executive - and do it. Tell them that you will be going to the press if you do not receive immediate help and support to resolve this issue.

You'll need to keep a record. A diary for just this purpose would be perfect. You'll need to make a note of the time, the activity, any dialogue or threats and the duration of this.

Visit your GP and get it on record how stressed you are about this situation. This will help when it comes to meeting with your councillor and the council staff.

Give the Chief Exec two weeks to respond (that's normal timescale) and then ring for a meeting. You probably won't get to see him/her but he will instruct his staff from the relevant departments to attend.

What you're going through is unacceptable. It must be having an affect on your child; she has a stressed-out, sad Mum and Dad and who could blame you? You need help sorting this out and it shouldn't be you who needs to leave.

The fact that next door knows that their house is at risk means that there is a file at the HA related to it. When you write to the council, ask them to review what's already been written there.

You need to be like a squeaky door, they're the ones that get the oil.

I have experience of councillors, local authorities and their funny little ways and would be happy to help you with a letter or two. :)