to want to get out of this house? Really appreciate opinions on what you would do

[bubbleandsqueaks]

Our neighbours have made our life hell since we moved in four years ago. None of them work and they use their back garden and front garden like a car garage to mend vehicles for cash. Their sons (18 and 16) hang around the front of the house in the evenings with all their friends which disturbs us and worst of all my 3yo dd who has to go to sleep listening to their swearing and shouting.

We have had to involve our local councillor to try and solve the noise issues which worked and things are slightly better now. The teenagers are no longer as bad, although I do still feel intimidated when I have to walk past them. All that can be done via official channels has be done and the noise they make now has to be tolerated. I hate using the garden, once they realise we are outside they come outside and start swearing and shouting to each other and I hate dd1 hearing it.

Our other neighbours have been no help in trying to resolve the issues, even though they affect them as much as us and one lot even thanked us for making things quieter They keep their heads down and their mouths shut due to fear of repercussions. I don't blame them, we have had our TV ariel damaged, our house egged, our car had brake fluid poured over it. This was at the height of the trouble about 2 years ago.

We reported every incident and eventually things calmed down. Last week however one of the neighbours sons friends threatened dh and near enough chased him, the following night he broke our front fence and then after the police had been round he came back shouting things at the house. All this was reported to the police and is being dealt with.

But I have had enough, I can't keep fighting and living in fear. The problem is though we are in a mess financially. We are in a debt management plan which will take about 6 years to pay off and on an interest only mortgage.

We had an estate agent round yesterday and to let our house out and rent a smaller one we would just about break even, but it would take us a long time to get into a position where we could a deposit up, pay the letting agent a months rent to let our house out, do minor repairs in our house etc. And we are in such a weak position financially that having a house with no tenant would break us.

If we sell, after fees, we would walk away with about £10,000 which would pay off half our debts but then we would never be able to buy again as we could never save like that again for a deposit - we have 2 dc now! So we would be renting for the rest of our life. Which worries dh, he worries about paying high rent in old age, being forced to keep moving if we rent etc. I think having a big mortgage, which until I return to FT work we won't be able to pay is pointless.

Its causing us to argue, he wants to stay put and doesn't think they should drive us out. I'm not sure how much longer I can live like this - AIBU to think renting for the rest of lives (we are 30) isn't the end of the world.
I think dh needs stability. I need to get out.

Horrible situation, you have my sympathies.

I do not think you need to choose between renting for life, or staying there for ever.

You should try to calmly list ALL options.

Eg renting your house out, and (temporarily) renting somewhere else yourself, then reassess the balance after 1 or 2 years.

In a few years, the teenagers may move out, and things may change.

I hope you have reported her saying that to the police.

I'd still keep trying to get them moved out - if you do, let the police know and they can do extra checks, maybe you can get a 'whatever they call it now' to stop them entering your street once they have moved out.

You need to fight for your house, your home and your sanity - do not let these people ruin your life for you.

Chandon - what happens then when the house isn't rented out? They don't have savings to tide them through, I really think trying to let the house out while renting would be the worst possible course of action.

The letting agent said he would find easy to rent it out as its a family house in a good condition ... but then they all talk the talk don't they.

You have to disclose all disputes :(

I think, in your position, financially and emotionally, I would seriously consider handing the keys to the mortgage company. If your position is that precarious then you are going to hit a huge stumbling block with renting. I can't see your house renting out easily, or you being able to keep tenants for that long. Personally, I would rather not have the debts, the neighbours or the worry. Renting is fine. Where would you be re a council housing list? Would you consider that instead?

I didn't bother reporting it ChippingIn as I only overheard it and she didn't actually say it to me. Thinking back I guess that was a mistake.

They won't get evicited, they are too clever. After the last visit from the head of the housing dept. they know their house is at risk and now create noise disturbance which can't be reported but is difficult to live with (constantly banging doors until the early hours of the morning, swearing loudly whenever they see us/know we are in the garden but not actually swearing 'at' us and other subtle things which sound minor when said indivdually)

And although we know the attacks on our property have been instigted by them, they haven't actually carried any of them out themselves we don't think. The times we have witnessed it, it has been friends of theirs or their sons.

And if they did get evicted then they would get someone else to attack our house. If they left I would never sleep easy in this house again - not that I do anyway really but

My friend had a terrible time with a HA tenant living next to her (she owned, like you)

It was a bit of a battle but the HA did step in. The difficulty was that the woman was regularly having late night parties that started at 2 AM and carried on until the morning, so it was difficult to get a HA rep to witness it. If they are being noisy in the day then that should be easier for the HA to collect evidence.

Turned out her son shouldn't have been living there, on top of the noise issues, so they made him leave. You never know who is on their tenancy agreement, maybe they are not meant to be there?

Failing that, the aggression and damage should be enough for a serious complaint that could get them moved. Give the HA all the police report numbers.

If they were owners then I'd say selling up was your only option - but why not see if you can get them moved?

It's just mind-blowing, isn't it, that by forcing the OP to move these disruptive, ignorant, rude people essentially have 'won'. If they're not forced to change, they never will. Gah.

Yes - the letting agent is hardly going to say 'It's going to be a sod of a job renting this out with your delinquent neighbours' is he They want your money and they'll say owt to get it.

Sarah - hate to disagree, but... if B&S can come out of this better off by around £10k selling, why would she just hand the keys over to the mortgage company? But I do agree that renting it out will be one huge headache or worse.

If you do get them moved on, you could still tell the police that she threatened to do it, it's never too late to tell them. Of course she's probably all fur coat and no knickers really!

You sound defeated (not suprising) but you (IMO) need to change your mindset. Play the game like they do - I do not, for one minute, believe they are any more 'clever' than you can be. Keep complaining about their noise/behaviour. Keep on (and on) at the council/HA etc. Be the squeeky wheel.

Find your fight! Don't let them intimidate you into putting up with this, if they get moved make sure your local police are aware of your worries.

One other suggestion - have you spoken to your mortgage lender and asked them if they will transfer the mortgage to another property - it may be possible for you to move now - especially if your DP is informal.

We had neighbours from hell - not as bad as yours, but bad enough. Private owners too, so there's very little you can do about them. And cunning, e.g. they'd ramp the music up, then watch out of the windows for the police and turn it off if they saw them coming.

We moved in the end and it was definitely the right thing to do - if you can't be happy in your own house then where can you?

oh i really feel for you. Partner and I in same position. Have been in our flat only 3 months and want to move because of vicious bullying woman below us! she won't get moved as she's playing the cancer card but she only got that last yr, apparently she's had a reign of 15 yrs of terror over residents, one has an injunction against her. but the housing assoc are not bothered about moving HER so it seems like that's up to us to go. They just told us to ignore her(what, shall we abseil out of our top window! we have to walk past her front door every time) From day one she's been agressive and had it in for us. Accusatory nasty letters pushed thru our door on Christmas Day that kind of thing. In my experience, always the victims end up moving. Good luck ..

ChippinIn - I didn't know you could transfer a mortgage. What does that mean? What happens to this house?

I am defeated, I spent the first two years of living here reporting everything to every official body I could think of and in the end both the police and the council treated me like an irritant. We only managed to get the lad that was constantly throwing eggs at our house to stop because I got really angry (when one hit dd1's bedroom window and woke up her) and phoned the non emergency line and asked them who I had to contact to make a complaint about the police lack of action - that got them round my house and then round the lads house.

I now a 10wk old baby and a 3yo and I can't keep fighting. Reporting sounds easy but then you have to live with fear of what will happen because you reported it, for example the police are going to issue the yob who broke our fence with an harrasment order and arrest him for criminal damage. This doesn't make me feel any better, now I have to live with the fear of what he will do when he finds out we reported him. An endless cycle.

PlanetEarth - Did you lose money when you moved? If so, how do you feel about that now?

Ah I missed the £10K bit Chipping. No, you're right I couldn't let that go. I think I would be very realistic about the price and go for a worst case scenario plus moving expenses and see how much was left over after that.

Would that count as making oneself voluntarily homeless? Or would you still be able to go to the council after that?

Would it be worth contacting the HA and seeing if they would consider buying your house?

What a twisted society is this, that people are allowed to ruin other peoples' lives with their behaviour.

bubbleandsqueaks - we didn't lose money as such, though the flat we left has since gone up more in value than the house we moved to.

In a way we were lucky - as it was a flat, there was no external evidence of problem neighbours. And hardly anyone asked about neighbours! We actually had someone say, "What's the noise here like, do you hear the neighbours?" and just as I was wondering what to day - we needed to move but they were a nice family and I didn't want to lie to them - he answered his own question, "Oh these old buildings are so solid, aren't they?"

The people who eventually bought came round 3 times and each time it was dead quiet.

If we had lost money I'd have been cross (I was pretty cross as it was!) but we'd tried all other options (police, council, legal advice) and it was such a stressful place to live.

B&S by transferring I mean can you sell this house, buy another and just move the mortgage over as long as the valuation is OK on the new house it's usually OK, no early repayment fee and no having to go trying to get a new mortgage and keeping your IO.

If you have a 10 week old baby I wouldn't be making any major decisions - I'm not being patronising, but generally the hormones are still flying around and you are sleep deprived - not a good time for life altering decisions!

I do feel really sorry for you and I know it's awful living next to horrible/scary neighbours - you have all my sympathy, I just want to help you.

Did you have to declare it on any paperwork PlanetEarth?

Thanks ChippingIn, I do appreciate all the advice. It helps to see things in a different way, I know I am quite hormonal atm as well!

Just want to live a normal life.

You have motivated me to email the councillor who helped us to resolve one of the disputes to see if she thinks I need to declare it, maybe she will have some advice for me - she is really nice so fingers crossed.

Well my councillor wasn't a lot of help - she emailed back and told me to ask the estate agent - yeh because they always tell the truth

Didn't declare anything, but this was some years ago. Not sure what the position is now. I think it's outrageous though the whole idea of legally having to disclose nightmare neighbours - as if it's not bad enough having to put up with living next to them, disclosing their existence might of course make it difficult to sell or lead to a financial loss. I think the nightmare neighbours should have to pay for any financial shortfall!

The estate agent said we have to speak to a solicitor - which I'm guessing will cost us

Do you have a Parish council where you are? The problems we had got raised there so the Councillor had to do something at least. Surely this is about an issue with behaviour - what has estate agent got to do with it - unless you asked them about the selling / renting issues.

I asked her if we had to declare disputes

I meant resolved disputes