I've really umm'ed and ar'ed about posting this on here, but have decided to put this to you so you can share your wisdom/slap some sense into me!
DD is nearly 21 months, I'm a single parent. I don't bring her up in a showhome, my house is cluttered homely and she often merrily scatters her toys all over the place, but she has started showing some quite alarming signs of anxiety around being messy/things being dirty or out of place.
One thing that makes me worry is that her dad (my ex) had OCD, and he told me that he thought genetics would be likely to transfer it as his mum also had it. I'm not a sufferer, and have only done basic 'google' research into this in an attempt to help and support him while we were together. He left when she was 4 months old, so I doubt she has observed him being anxious about mess/dirt much.
DD will become anxious if her hands are messy (chocolate, paint, yogurt, playdough, anything on her skin) and comes up to me asking to be wiped even if she has just the slightest trace of something on her hands. She finds spills very distressing, and often comes up to me with the tiniest bits of dust, literally shaking and saying 'uh-ho fluff!' over and over.
I've tried to work with her - encouraged messy play/finger-painting, experimenting with food, going out in wellies in the mud etc, and 'played up' that it is fun/funny (letting her put paint on my nose etc). I try not to wet-wipe her too much or feed into her anxiety.
She's my only child, so please feel free to call her a PFB. I don't know if this is a normal stage of toddler development, I just want to be able to help her through it, so she can have fun getting messy like loads of other kids seem to!
Thankies in advance - feel free to pelt me with 