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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my nephews should be at school??

23 replies

izzywizzywoowooo · 19/01/2011 16:46

Sorry this is long!

SIL and my brother split up around 6 months ago, she has just started getting out and visiting some family and making new friends (Great as far as I am concerned!) However she went away this weekend and has not come back, all 3 boys are off school for no good reason. She is off to bingo tonight, AIBU to think her boys should be at school? I know she is having a hard time with her and my brother splitting up but surely she had the whole weekend of getting pissed for her me time?

Also the eldest gets really worried about missing school, I remember the feeling when I was a kid if I had a day off...

OP posts:
Tryharder · 19/01/2011 16:56

Your OP is not 100% clear. Where is your SIL and where are the boys? Why didn't she come back? How do you know this? Have you spoken to your nephews? What does your brother have to say as presumably it's his business if the boys miss school.

I suppose YANBU but if this is an absolute one-off in the scheme of things then I wouldn't worry. But if they are regularly missing school, then yes, perhaps your DB should get involved.

Chil1234 · 19/01/2011 16:56

She's back and at bingo or she hasn't come back yet? Confused School-age children should be at school in term time, yes.

AMumInScotland · 19/01/2011 17:03

If you mean the boys have been left without a responsible adult all weekend, and into the week, then I think that's a problem, even without the school issue. Surely if they are old enough to be left alone, they are old enough to get themselves to school?

Lulumaam · 19/01/2011 17:05

It depends, as others have said , who was looking after the boys and why that person did not get them to school.

if their father had them whilst SIL was away, the onus was on him to get them to school

If she has not come back , how has she gone to bingo? I am confused

maryz · 19/01/2011 17:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
izzywizzywoowooo · 19/01/2011 17:05

Sorry, just read that back and it makes no sense what so ever..Blush

Basically...I have no idea where her and the children are staying, I know it isn't in their home though. She is with family/friends about 70 mile away from where she lives. (We live round the corner from one another)

I don't know why she hasn't come back, I think it is because she is to busy doing her own thing (SIL and brother were together for 10 yrs, Since 16, so this concept of being single etc is new to her

She is updating her status on FB about going bingo tonight with her sister who lives in cheshire. We are notts.

No haven't spoken to the nephews she stops us when she feels like it.

My brother is in Germany traning for Afghanistan at the minute.

OP posts:
maryz · 19/01/2011 17:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AMumInScotland · 19/01/2011 17:07

So, she's taken the children out of school for a break, and taken them away with her to see family? Doesn't sound too awful, as long as she doesn't start making a habit of it.

midori1999 · 19/01/2011 17:10

Ideally they should be at school but if she's having hard time maybe she needs support from her family and so perhaps it's a good thing she's staying there for a while.

mutznutz · 19/01/2011 17:13

The school may well have given her permission for a break under the circumstances?

Lulumaam · 19/01/2011 17:15

so she's taken the boys away with her?

in which case, she might well have had permission from teh school

does your brother see much of the boys?

Original poster
izzywizzywoowooo · 19/01/2011 17:17

Guess so, just worried for them really.

OP posts:
Original poster
izzywizzywoowooo · 19/01/2011 17:19

When they first split he didn't, when he went round there it usually descended in to a row but over the weeks it has gotten better. Thankfully.

SIL isn't the most reasonable or the most nicest for that matter. Just want to make sure the boys are OK that was all.

OP posts:
midori1999 · 19/01/2011 17:22

Why wouldn't they be Ok if they are staying with her family and also with their Mother?

NancyDrewHasaClue · 19/01/2011 17:25

I don't really see what the issue is - depends on the age of the children but a short break away to stay with family doesn't seem in the slightest problematic unless there are other issues .

Original poster
izzywizzywoowooo · 19/01/2011 17:29

Well she doesn't have a lot of family who she speaks to so there are two people who could be looking after them, One is out with her so I assume that rules her out and the other is her younger sister, 13 or 14 I think she is.

Just got a bad feeling. Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
izzywizzywoowooo · 19/01/2011 17:47

Just saw another update apprantly she has a new fella down there and she is letting her younger sister run after her kids... Confused Don't know weather to say anything to her, Probably shouldn't.

Will just have to wait till they come back I guess...If they do that is.. Hmm

OP posts:
ZZZenAgain · 19/01/2011 17:48

leave it, the family has broken up and the boys are seeing extended family by the sounds of it. Might be doing them a lot of good just at the moment.

bubblewrapped · 19/01/2011 17:49

What age are the children?

ZZZenAgain · 19/01/2011 17:49

well if you have a bad feeling about it, I don't know can you just call her and ask her how she is, say you have been thinking about her and the boys and hope the break is doing them good. Sound it out a bit.

maryz · 19/01/2011 19:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tomhardyismydh · 19/01/2011 19:48

sorry I dont think its any of your buisness. I have taken time off school to go away with my dd, with written permission from school to go away for long weekends or a week. I would not discuss this with my exp or his family. If wants to get intouch he calls my mobile where ever I maybe. He would not even consider to have an opinion on this either TBH.

so in short YABU

TheVisitor · 19/01/2011 19:52

It's absolutely none of your business what she's doing, and it's no biggie the kids being out of school for a few days whilst she sees family. YABVU

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