to want to stand near the front when I collect ds from school?

[deaconblue]

He is 4 1/2 and has SEN, he likes routine and likes me to stand in the same place every day. Parents wait on the playground and reception kids are brought out first. I like to stand near the front so that ds can see me as soon as he comes out of the door. I don't push past other parents, in fact hardly anyone else seems to want to stand near the front. I'm not standoffish, I always have a chat with whoever is near me. But today my friend made me feel I was a bit weird/overkeen and said that I was setting ds up for a fall in case one day I arrived late. I'm never late as it would really upset him.
I suspect I'm being oversensitive but I can't see why it would bother anyone else where I choose to stand in the playground. or am I a bit of a weirdo?

I'd vary it a bit. You MAY be late one day.

Your friend sounds like the weirdo to me.
What an odd thing to comment on.

He's only 4 and a half! FWIW I stand where ds can see me and he's 9!

YANBU if that is what he needs but perhaps you should explain to him what will happen if you get delayed. There doesn't seem any need to upset him every day just in case.

As he gets older, it may be an idea to have a chat about what he would do if you were late- i.e go and wait in the office.

I've never been late in 5 years of school runs though, it's possible not to be!

Yeah, it makes perfect sense to upset him on a regular basis in case you are late one day

Your friend is a nutter!

If you are late one day then he might be upset and you can deal with it then, right now he's becoming more secure.

Of course you need to talk to him about what would happen if you were late one day so he's somewhat prepared but to make him scour the crowd for you each day to 'toughen him up' is just ridiculous & you should tell her that next time she makes such a daft comment!

I was always saying I would never be late but sometimes it's not in our control..I was late ONCE because there was a traffic accident and we were right next to it. Only wings would have got me there on time.

I would also chat about it wih him...or vary where you stand, SN or not most kids are very anxious to see their parents at this age...Im not minimizing his SN at all...but plenty of kids without SN freak when thir parent isn't there on time.

Your friend is the weirdo lol. I've just had a thought (due to reading this thread) most of the parents seem to favour certain spots anyway...or is that just in my kids school?

I hadn't really thought about it before but I always stand in the same place too.

I don't know about this one. I have a DS with AS and who likes routine and I can see where you are coming from about standing where he can see you.

But on the other hand, I don't think it does any harm to shift about abit. The world isn't always predictable and if our children can learn that is a safe environment, knowing that we will be there but things won't always be the same then I don't see any harm. I am not suggesting it would protect your DS from you being late because I don't know how standing somewhere else would help with that - surely if you are late, he won't be able to find you at all, not just have to search for a moment. Just move a bit further back. Vary it gently and maybe let the teacher know what you are doing so she can help look for you.

But that is just my opinion and either way, I don't think you are a weirdo, nor do I think you are being oversensitive.

I always have to get to school early so i can claim my spot (dd2 has ASD), if anyone pinched my spot i would have to push them out of the way . I know how you feel though but i guess its hard for others to understand unless they have a child with sn's, dd2 would scream for the rest of the day if i was not stood in the rite place and i would have to cary her to the car kicking .

What has it got to do with your friend? Lots of people like to stand at the front, even if their kids don't have any 'conditions'

Anyway the teacher usually stands at the gate and won't let the child go until the parent can be seen.

thanks all. My friend is very lovely by the way but I think perhaps she hadn't thought about the SN angle and how that can affect stuff. I agree about varying it a bit and I certainly plan to withdraw slightly as he gets older but at hte end of the school day at the moment he's so tired he is close to tears anyway and I wouldn't want to make him distressed.
I agree lateness being avoidable (other than traffic etc). I can't remember a single occasion where my mum was late.

Stand where you want to stand, nothing to do with anyone else.

I didn't think this was unusual. ime most parents with dc in the infants seem to stand in the same spot for similar reasons. dd1 complains if I'm so much as 30cm off my mark!

Dd is in Yr 2 of a big school (couple of thousand kids) and each year comes out in staggered 5 minute sequences...We all stand in exactly the same spot every day and always have done! (my own spot is near the bin at the back near the gate) It's NU at all, it's logical- and gets the schoolyard emptied quicker...kids know where to look, you can gossip relax knowing you haven't got to be waving and jumping so they see you.

Sorted!

I think most parents do stand in the same place, as Buc said, it gets the job done quicker!

I think it's like when you are getting picked up at the airport - you know the person is there waiting for you, but all you see is a sea of faces, it's horrible. Much nicer to know where they will be waiting :)