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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Intervening in childrens friendships

8 replies

esmeroo · 19/01/2011 15:26

(I dont post much but look on mumsnet regularly, think a bit addicted!)

Have been reading other thread about getting involved in childrens friendships. Agree with all the advice given about staying out of it and letting them sort it out for themselves.

DD at primary and been through something similar. However I have been made to feel that I have acted unreasonably by encouraging DD to develop new friendships.

My DD had best friend since age 3. Last year my close friends DD joined up with them after classes were mixed. DD felt like she was being pushed out. Spoke to my close friend, she asked "what am I supposed to do about it?" The other girls had started going backwards and forwards to each others houses, something my DD had previously done but they'd stopped asking her. I suggested that perhaps sometimes they could ask my DD to join them. I didnt think this was uunreasonable at the time as the mom was a close friend. Maybe I shouldnt have? (My emotions were all over the place as I had cancer and wasnt coping too well).

Suffice to say this didnt happen so I encouraged DD to make new friends which she did. My close friend fell out with me. Her DD
was upset that my DD was excluding her from new friendships!

Friend and I now speaking again but have not discussed incident. Difficult for me as I would like to have sorted it out but think friend would rather move on from it.

My friend is now close friends with mom of other girl. Other mom also stopped talking to me (dont know why). Dont think friend and I will ever be same again. She doesnt seem to want to be seen with me when other mom is around. She cant get away from me quick enough. I feel an enormous sense of loss over friendship. I feel very bitter when I see friend/other mom together which I know is very unreasonable.

My DD and other two girls still speak to each other.

Have I been unreasonable? Perhaps some of you ladies see something in this that I can't?

I do believe you should leave the children to resolve it themselves and that I should never have mentioned it to my friend.

OP posts:
compo · 19/01/2011 15:28

What a shame

just think primary school isn't for long and you won't have to worry at secondary school as they'll be no contact with parents

Hullygully · 19/01/2011 15:33

They're mad and you're not and they are no loss. Really.

compo · 19/01/2011 15:38

It's daft all these grown women falling out

the kids are in the playground not the mums

I saw two mums yelling at each other and calling each others kids bitches a couple of years ago, fgs some people really need to get a life!

ladydeedy · 19/01/2011 15:39

god, really, get a life and not worry about this. it's nothing. your child and you should move on...

MadamDeathstare · 19/01/2011 15:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

esmeroo · 19/01/2011 16:28

Thank you ladies for your input.

Madamdeathstare - I do agree regarding making friendships with the parents. Other problem though is when your friends children go to the same school.

OP posts:
MadamDeathstare · 19/01/2011 17:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

manicbmc · 19/01/2011 17:19

Are these women 9? They sound very childish. I only expect the 'you can't be her friend if you're mine' thing amongst kids of primary age.

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