to be excited about giving up work?

[Karbea]

hello,

This is my first post on the "...unreasonable?" board.

My OH and I are currently trying for a baby, and we've spoken about whether I will return to work or not if we have a baby. We are looking at moving and focusing on buying something that will allow me not to work. I love my job, but i'm really excited at the prospect of looking after my baby, home and husband. i guess this is quite old fashioned, but I just feel i'm done with work.

As I say i'm not even pregnant yet, but find myself daydreaming about the day when i no longer have to work...

xx

YANBU
I gave up my job after DD2 and never looked back. I missed work the first year or so but only as I felt pressure to be at work and looked down upon. I soon enjoyed having time with the DC and to myself. I don't miss work at all to be honest, each to their own though. Good luck!

YANBU - I dream of the same!

Bizaarely though, as I know it can't happen, I'm really reluctant to take much mat leave at all - was even thinking 3 months is a REALLY long time, particularly as you can share leave with your partners as of April this year and I'm not due until end of June so will be able to take advantage.

Live the dream if you can though Karbea!

awww YANBU. That sounds perfect to me.

I wish I didnt have to work but we cant afford on just DPs. If you can get by with just DH working then I say go for it.

The only thing I would say to consider is that once your LOs are grown up you might wish you could go back to work, which will be difficult if you have been out of the market for so long. Ageism is supposed to be long gone but in reality employers are jus getting better at covering up their prejudices.

Also think about NI provisions and if you have contributed enough, or made provisions for a pension and keep putting £ into it for when you are older.

The main thing for me though would be what do I do when the kids are grown up. Suspect even if we could afford for me not to work and I stopped, in hindsight I would regret it. Perhaps.

YANBU to dream. I'd keep an open mind though. I found being at home with a little one was lovely, but much harder than I'd imagined, especially as she got older and needed proper entertainment!

At that point I went back to work as a freelancer and now have periods of working and not working, so best of both worlds. Will do the same after DC2 is born in Feb.

At first being at home was a novelty and I felt all smug and domestic goddess-y, but after a while I realised a lot of it was just drudge and craved a bit of variety.

If you're going to give up work, get married.

If you're not married, if you break up then he doesn't have to give you anything except basic child support and you may have been out of work for several years by this point and find it hard to get back in.

Nothing wrong with being a SAHM but you have to be practical and cover all eventualities.

YANBU

But give us an update when you've left work and DC is about 6 months old, just be interested to know if it's working out the way you planned it would!

I was in your exact situation and after a year of not working am desperate to get back to work, structure, adult conversation that doesn't revolve around DC and earning my own money (think there is a bit of a control freak in me somewhere)!