to be angry at TA for discussing my childs behaviour with my Aunt?

[honeychester]

Please forgive me if I make any mistakes as this is my first ever post. My 8 year old DD is having problems at school and has suspected AS. My Aunt knows the TA in my DD's class as we all live in the same area. Anyway, I just saw my Aunt and she told me that she asked how DD was getting on and the TA told her that DD's behaviour was improving as they are learning how to deal with her better as time goes by, which is true, but why on earth is she discussing this with my Aunt?!

I know can be over sensitive about my kids and my Mother seemed to think I was making a fuss over nothing, but this really gets to me! AIBU?

Yeah a bit unreasonable. It's not like she said anything negative...and your Aunt did ask.

It probably breaches some sort of policy, law or code of bloody practise somewhere though.

YANBU - the TA shouldn't be discussing yourchild with anyone outside of you, your husband, and her teachers.

She should have kept it a lot more general and neutral.

If she had said 'fine' that would be okay, but being specific is too much.

YANBU

Another vote of YANBU. I did some TA work at DD's school and it was drummed into me that the children shouldn't be discussed with anyone apart from parents. Even then, it should be the qualified staff who did the discussing.

YANBU - there is such a thing as confidentiality which should be written into her contract. She honestly has no idea what kine of relationship you have with your aunt and shouldn't be discussing your DD with her at all. Personally, I'd have a quiet word with the Head who could remind all staff of confidentiality and the fact that they shouldn't discuss pupils with anyone except the parent.

Yanbu

Confidentiality and all that.

She shouldn't have discussed this with your Aunt, but maybe she thought the Aunt was in the loop. I think you should have a quiet word with the head and get them to remind the staff that this is not good practice.

well i'm not sure what the TA could have said, it doesn't sound like she said anything negative

but yanbu because she has no idea of the actual dynamics of your relationship - what if you'd fallen out with your Aunt, etc? just because she's a relative doesn't mean to say that details of how your daughter is doing should be given out

so, although i wouldn't know how to politely bounce back the question with something bland and non-descript which is in line with confidentiality expectations, i would expect that as part of the TA's training/experience she would be fully prepared for exactly this type of scenario.

yanbu at all.

The TA should not dicuss the behaviour of your child with ANYONE outside work. Where I work it is made very clear that you do not disclose confidental information outside work.

People have been sacked for gross misconduct for this type of behaviour in the past. Certainly a formal verbal warning needs to be given to the TA.

If I was you I would lodge a formal complaint with the school. Your child deserves better.