To love a man twice my age?

[Namechangerforadvice]

Namechanged and edited some details so as not to "out" myself to those here who know me in RL.

I have totally fallen in love with a man who is twice my age! I am 25 and he is 49. I have known him about 8 years in total and we have always been good friends, and socialised together, but recently we have become closer.

We seem to connect on every level, we can sit and laugh and chat about anything, for hours on end. He is fantastic with my DS (8) and enjoys spending time with us both, going out and staying in for lazy days at home. We have lots in common, a shared favourite hobby, mutual circle of friends and same taste in music/films/things that interest us. He is very kind, sweet and caring and has told me he feels the same about me.

I have always thought age is just a number and shouldn't make any difference. However, now it is me in the situation I am starting to have doubts. I think I owe it to myself and my son to think about this carefully, but I really don't know what to think.

I have spoken about this to my best friend, who was very supportive but raised two points when I asked her for her honest thoughts..

1. She knows I want to have more kids and said that although he has said he wants kids, perhaps he is getting a bit too old to be able to be an active and involved parent.

1. What about the future, she pointed out that in 20 years time I will be 45 and he will be nearly 70, that he is quite likely to die before me and that I may well face the rest of my life without him. (although to this I pointed out that I could get hit by a bus tomorrow, and that order of age doesnt dictate order of death). But she has me doubting things now.

So....

Opinions? AIBU in choosing a man twice my age to spend my life with?

Anyone been in this situation and had it work (would love some encouragement).

Thanks all!

I don't see the problem either. Many people spend their whole lives looking for a great guy, you have found one. I'd thank my luck and work out the other stuff along the way. 49 is not particularly old to have another child (IF he wants one) if you think that he'd have another 30 years or so if you take the average age.

I wouldn't worry about being 50/70 yet. Many many marriages/relationships don't make it to that age, for a variety of reasons, I wouldn't second guess it.

When I was younger I liked older men - Now I am older I like younger men!

I think that is true for men too, Grandmar.Younger men like older women, then they get older themselves and...

Thanks everyone for all your thoughts. I'm glad to see most people think I ANBU - Obviously I wouldn't base my decision over an online discussion, but it's nice to know what you all think and to have some encouragement.

x